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Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Best Brand of Fertilizer - #GBE2

What's That?

This week's GBE 2 prompt is a picture. Unfortunately, this plant is something I've never seen thriving in our yard. My husband and I tried to plant one and fertilized it with advanced college degrees. You know how it goes:  BS = bull sh*t; MS = more sh*t; PhD = piled higher and deeper. I guess we didn't add enough manure to the plant because it didn't bear fruit for long.

Maybe my degrees were all wrong. I received a BHS instead of the standard BS. It stands for Bachelor of Health Science which is a joke because I never had the clinical ear to be a speech therapist and listen to kids say, "Ew, ew, er." As for the Audiology part, I dropped it after noticing the people who worked hard for more sh*t degrees only to change jobs before thirty. You can only push buttons for so long.

So with the desire to make loads and loads of money, I pursued a more sh*t degree in Special Education. Our high pay is the reason the economy is so messed up. Just ask any of those politicians who are pushing anti-teacher bills. Since my career wasn't bearing fruit on the money tree, I could only hope the husband bought the right brand of fertilizer.

He holds three degrees. After receiving his BS, he went on to pile it higher and deeper, but lawyers do it wrong. After the doctor of jurisprudence, he added more sh*t. The tree started to bear fruit, but so did we. Three little money suckers swung from the tree's branches and turned it into firewood.

Now the monkeys are trying to add fertilizer to their own trees. Hopefully they're buying the right brand of manure at their institutes of higher education! I know the son did. A degree in Economics landed him an instant job straight out of college.

17 comments:

D Ana said...

I agree. I too am going to school to get my associates in BS, and then my bachelors in BS. I'm told that you can't get a decent job without a degree, but I see so many with a degree that don't have the best of jobs. It's a total contradiction.

I just have to have faith that everything will turn out okay.

--Diana Jillian

Word Nerd said...

Okay, I know that yours is the first one posted this week and that lots more will follow, but I'm gonna go out on a limb (out on a limb, hehehe) here and declare this to be my favorite of the week. VERY well, done. I love the way you told this--just loved it!

This, "The tree started to bear fruit, but so did we. Three little money suckers swung from the tree's branches and turned it into firewood" is so perfect that I can't say anything more about it than BRAVO!

Kathy29156 said...

I absolutely love the degrees you and your family got in college (BS, MS, and PhD) LOL! It is a pity all that BS costs so much money. I love your take on the theme. Well done!!

Kathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/

Anonymous said...

Very well done! This reminds me, I have seen this tree in so many yards,and almost all the people that have this tree, don't seem to fully value the fruit or why it's there. They buld their world around it, and use it as a criteria for their "gardening capabilities". Sadly, many confuse having this tree with have power and entitlement. You on the hand have done well, while you didn't quite get the hang of growing a full blown tree, you did take the first cuttings and plant them in your childrens yards!Peace ...Marc :)

Misha said...

Hahaha yeah...

I planted a money tree once. Went after a degree that guaranteed me a job and a salary of $15000...

A MONTH.

But the tree needed my soul as nutrition, so I ripped it out and planted a happiness tree instead. Lot's better.

^_^

Claudia Moser said...

Funny and so realistic! Great!

M Pax said...

Hmmm, I have some of them degrees, too. And I prefer being a pennyless writer. Go figure.

Vanessa said...

Very funny! I should change careers to get a degree in Economics too, hehe!

Love it!

ResidentGamer said...

I love your creativity with this!

Brenda Stevens said...

LOLOLOL loved this...RIGHT ON ...write on! where is that fence...push push...hehe MuaH

livcenta is my word to publish my comment...
oh i spelled it wrong..now its SERVENTA

Stephtee said...

This was really cute! I'm working on a Nursing degree...I hope I'm using the right brand of fertilizer! :)

Binky said...

Can't we just buy these degrees on the internet now? It'd save a lot of time and effort.

Langley said...

This is hilarious and also strikes pretty close to home for my husband and I, too. Ahh, those advanced degrees, gotta love them.

Langley said...

Ammm, my husband and me. See how much that advanced degree helped!

Marian said...

This is very cute and very creatively done!

I'm a teacher also so know of the money struggles that you speak of...UGH!

My niece has just started her MBA program and I can only hope that it "pays" off in the end because it's expensive!

Paula Martin said...

Loved this! Am still giggling!

Rhonda@laugh-quotes said...

My daughter planted a 20c coin in the dirt and watered it everyday. That didn't work either.