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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Paul Revere and Other Myths

Our Next President?
I recently had a story published in AppleSeeds Magazine about Paul Revere's ride. According to Sarah Palin, I got my facts all wrong. Paul Revere rode up and down the streets ringing a bell to warn the British that we were going to lock and load. What's even more amazing is that I actually met someone who tried to convince me that Palin was right! If that's the case, we can change all kinds of historical events to meet our needs. Hmm.

Did you know that our fore fathers started the electoral college not because they believed the commoner wasn't smart enough to vote but because starting a college would get them more prestige, better paying jobs, and noticed by the ladies? That's right. Unknown to the public, the electoral college is actually a place of higher learning. Where else would folks learn how to make those powdered wigs?

And the crimes of taking over land from the Indians is all a myth too. They gave it to us because they liked how we taught them how to hunt, fish, and pop popcorn. We even showed them how to add sugar, salt, and preservatives to make this healthy food stick to ones insides and make one fat. Next, Indians enjoyed pilgrim led aerobics instruction.

 We were also overly kind to our Japanese citizens during World War II. We sent them off to fine spas where they got to enjoy saunas, steam rooms, and sushi. Then we taught them how to play soccer, a sport that originated in the United States, so they could all become brilliant soccer moms like Sarah Palin.



So remember, vote Sarah Palin for President. Humor bloggers need her stupidity to keep the jokes coming. If you want more laughs, here's a link to Steve Colbert's incredibly funny clip. http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/388583/june-06-2011/paul-revere-s-famous-ride



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13 comments:

Kelly L said...

The more she opens her mouth the more stupid she sounds... I had posted this video on my FB last week - I still can't believe how she defended what she said and that the media was trying to make her sound dumb.. really? I'm thinking she did this all by herself....
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Jenn said...

She just needs to go back to Alaska and hang out with the bears. HA!! But I suppose then she may claim goldie locks is real and baby bear is disenfranchised or something.

LOL...I needed a good laugh!!

Cheers, Jenn
http://www.wine-n-chat.com

Angela Felsted said...

Ouch. I will never ever run for public office. Unfortunately, revisionist history isn't only a political issue. Authors are known to rewrite certain events as well.

For instance, I live in Virginia and was taught the civil war wasn't just about slavery. Where my friends who grew up in the north were taught the civil war was all about slavery. Interesting.

Joyce Lansky said...

It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't come back after being called out about it and insist she's right with more idiocy.

Misha said...

Silly history sticklers. Sarah says so. I must be true! ;-P

Maggie said...

It's true that all politicians mess up now and then, but this lady seems to do it all the time...and then make herself look dumb by insisting she was right. I come from a very conservative background, but I will never vote for her. She's not fit to be in this field.

Word Nerd said...

The woman is a dipshit, no question. The one thing she seems to be genuinely good at is getting people to listen to/follow her, and that freaks me out a little.

She's not new at being in the public eye or being outed for her lack of knowledge, so by now, you'd think that she'd brush up on the basics of American history--at least the textbook version--and at the VERY least, have something accurate to say about whatever place she's appearing, even if that means learning just enough to get through one public appearance at a time.

Joyce Lansky said...

Yes, I don't understand the blind allegiance to her by someone of any political party! I really should have put http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/388583/june-06-2011/paul-revere-s-famous-ride in my post. I guess it's not too late. Steven Colbert is hysterical!

Denise said...

You said it! I'm a new follower from Sit and Relax Weekend Blog Hop. I hope you will follow me back http://talesfrommyjournal.blogspot.com I can be found in facebook too http://www.facebook.com/DeniseMartin.LillaRose and twitter @DeniseLillaRose If you like/follow me there I will do the same for you. When you stop by my blog, please check out my kind of fashion (hair jewelry).

THE SNEE said...

They say (I'm not sure who 'they' are) but they say, that reality is perception. I think that Sarah Palin is buying what "they" are selling. Off to look at that funny Colbert Clip. Glad you linked it up.

Rhonda at Laugh Quotes said...

Hilarious! Love the new twist on history. I am posting a link to this page on my homeschool fan page so we can all laugh with you :)

I voted for you again today too :)

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks, Rhonder! You're the best. If anyone hasn't checked out your site they need to. It's great fun.

Anonymous said...

Hysterical! :-)