My humorous thoughts about life.

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Sunday, July 31, 2011

#GBE2 The Birds and The Bees



When given the topic of instinct, I can't help but remember our first and only attempt at mating a dog. Let me clarify this for you knuckle heads, we didn't mate with our dog but rather found him a golden beauty in heat. Her papers read "pure bread," just like our first child.

Never did my husband place his arm around our young golden retriever and explain the birds and the bees, nor did I read him "Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mayle. We didn't get him a bouquet of roses to give to his girl on their first date, nor did he even shower for the event. Yet Swizzle knew what to do. As soon as the female strutted her goldeness into the yard, he jumped on her with embarrassing thrusts that belonged in a porno flick. Those two rolled and swayed, then our studly dog slip on his bathrobe and lit a cigar.

This made me think back to early man and wonder if they too knew instinctively what to do because the young humans of today seem clueless without instructional videos or sex education at school. What did that cave woman think when the blood first poured out of her and onto a rock? If no one ever discussed mating rituals, would young people today instinctively know what to do? I think not.

Sadly, our dog's fatherhood adventures turned south when the bitch's owners caught her digging in the backyard. Over the course of the pregnancy, she'd miscarried and instinctively knew to bury her lost pups. Having been pregnant three times, I can't imagine losing a baby and digging a hole in the ground. As humans, we've lost this natural animal instinct, but where did it go? Perhaps communication has made it easy to forget what we used to know without being told.

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23 comments:

Sandee said...

I hadn't thought of this until now, but I'm guessing it's still instinct to mate. I'm just guessing, but you just may be right. Sadly.

I voted for you again this morning.

Have a terrific day. :)

Claudia Moser said...

Yes, the instinct to mate is really deeply written within our genes, I'm sure of that!

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks, Sandy! Thinking back as a young person, I really don't think I would have known what to do the first time my husband and I became intimate if I'd never been exposed to pop culture.

Joyce Lansky said...

I don't know Claudia, but thanks for the comment.

Jodi said...

Wow lol that's very true. I'm always honest with my kids I feel it's better. They are going to find out some other way so I'd rather they discover oh mom was right and told us the truth.

Anonymous said...

Kids can still figure out how to do it, they need to be taught how to do it while being protected.

Cranky old man

Binky said...

Well there's too many humans anyway, so maybe the loss of instinct is nature's way of balancing the books.

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks for the comments. Yes, they figure out what to do but would they without our ability to communicate? And yes, they need to be taught about protection. @Binky Like always, I love your comments!

Kristen said...

Honestly, I never knew that dogs instinctually buried their lost pups. Sort of sad, really. But yet, makes lots of sense.

Arlee Bird said...

I guess with enough experimentation we'd figure out something to do if no one explained it to us.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Angela Felsted said...

I'm with Arlee.

For me a more intriguing question is: did we lose the instinct or was it ever there to begin with?

Jenni said...

wonderfully written. I really enjoyed reading this. You make some very good points about instinct. It truly is amazing. thank you for sharing :)

Word Nerd said...

I'm pretty sure that even if we were to toss a little boy and a little girl on a desert island, when they reached the age when their hormones went apeshit, they'd figure it all out.

Hey, come to think of it, wasn't that pretty much the whole storyline of The Blue Lagoon?

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks for the comments. The Blue Lagoon would be an interesting experiment, but I'm sure we'd get arrested for trying. I believe the instinct had to be there to begin with or we wouldn't exist.

Jo said...

I'm sure it's innate to reproduce, but it isn't innate to possess moral, that's the rub! great post and as always, enjoyed every word. C:

Paula Martin said...

Agree that some of 'original' instincts have been lost due to socialisation, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I did envy my cat when she gave birth to four kittens in under an hour. She hadn't read any books on natural birth but she knew exactly what to do.

Jenn said...

What a great post!! Reminds me of when my young little stud of a schnauzer escaped from the apartment and ran down the hill to a neighbors and mated their cocker spaniel. I was so embarrassed. The neighbors weren't home at the time, but I left them several messages to call me. They did not. Three days later, they moved out while I was at work--I guess they figured it out when the pups came along :O LOL. Cheers, Jenn.

Kathy29156 said...

Awesome post!! You are right! It is amazing how animals automatically KNOW how to do it!! Humans? Well let's just say I admit I was clueless. It was before cable tv. I had absolutely no idea where the hell to put my legs, nor what to do with the guy once I got him naked in the bed. It was mortifying! Rest assured I eventually figured it out, testament showing the 2 kids I have today. :D

Kathy
http://www.thetruckerswife.com/

Eccentricity said...

Aw, poor doggie! :-( I've had children, and also miscarried a couple times.

I do think humans would basically know how to mate without any exposure to media--it doesn't take much when you boil it down to its essence.

SJerZGirl said...

I was so clueless, I had no idea guys had ideas completely foreign to my own just because I sat on their laps for fun. Seriously - I just didn't know!! I've since made up for that, but there is something to be said for the fun I had during that innocence.

Joyce Lansky said...

I'm with you SJerZGirl. Thanks to all for the comments.

Rhonda @Laugh Quotes said...

I don't think we give them enough credit. I think they would know what to do - just not how to do it safely. Great post. I really enjoyed it - and I voted again :)

Mojo Writin' said...

Sadly, the instinct to mate is alive and well if the chavs of out nation are anything to go by. At 13 and younger they are busy procreating. The actual problem is the fact that they have no instinct left to guide them toward proper care and education of resulting sprogs... and thus another generation of Vicky Pollards is born *sigh*
Excellent, amusing post, as always, Joyce *hugs*