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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Monday, June 11, 2012

#GBE2: If I had my life to live over...

This topic is supposed to be filled with the age old wisdom of one who's tasted the ups and downs of life and has now matured to a quiet understanding. Yeah, right!

If I had my life to live over, there are a few things I might do differently:

(1) I would not have cried softly in Kindergarten after not getting to pet the snake but rather stood up boldly and announced, "Hey! You missed me!"

(2) Everyday in second grade, a classmate asked me to lend her a dime. Being timid, I gave it to her while knowing she'd never give it back. I probably gave her at least $2 - $3, with the interest rate from the sixties and adjustment for inflation... Hmm. I need to send her a bill or at least link this post to her Facebook page to prove I'm no longer that wimp.

(3) In a do over, I would have pitched a fit and refused to wear that polyester, light blue gym uniform because my mom didn't want to spend $7 to buy me a new one. In my childhood, a parent's "No" meant no without an argument, but that was important enough that in hindsight, I should have fought it or paid for a red one myself. That embarrassing uniform with my sister's initials scarred me for life! This morning, I searched the internet for a uniform as ugly as that one. I couldn't find anything THAT bad.

(4) I didn't need to date him or be intimate, but I wish I would have gotten to know him as he stood in the corner with his fraternity buddies and radiated his handsomeness. It might have been enriching to have become his good friend and vicariously enjoyed his rise to fame and fortune. He missed his chance. Brad Pitt and I went our separate ways.

I should have said, "Hello" as she sunbathed in front of her sorority house across the street, but Sheryl Crow also missed the chance to know me. We were all just kids not knowing which one of us was going places. If I would have listened to my professor and majored in education like he told me to do, I probably would have known her well. Ironically, I'm a teacher and she is not.

I know Yakov Smirnoff, and he's more fun than Brad Pitt and Sheryl Crow put together.


(5) When my husband gave me a compound sentence, "Will you marry me and live in Memphis?" maybe I should have negotiated the Memphis thing. Yes, I love him, but back when, I didn't quite get the full picture of what he was asking for. This red state of Tennessee can be a bit much. At least as of last Thursday, I no longer have a uterus for them to mess with.

Oh, Beth meant big stuff like career decisions, etc? I'm sure I never interpret her challenges the way she intends us to. Honestly, I don't have a clue about that. It's far too deep for me.

19 comments:

Claudia Moser said...

As always you make me smile, the lastThursday part - I am sorry ...

Brenda Stevens said...

You SOOOOOo caRack me UPppppp!! And YEAH no more "flow weeks" bye bye cramps too!! WOOT WOOT

silverthoughts2 said...

Haha, at least your regrets are small (though, I'd probably be regretting the Brad Pitt thing too!). I think the only thing I regret is not saying yes more.

Binky said...

I bet Brad never invited you to his vila, either. I bet he regrets that now.

Jo said...

Fed your fish. Also I think Brad is finally marrying the broad because he has decided you aren't leaving your hubs to be with him, that's what I heard, anyway. And the last Thursday cut and run thing, good job~it's over and one and now you can move onward without all the muss and fuss.

danneromero said...

ah, joyce, this is perfect. little things that wouldn't alter you as a person, yet would give your life some punch.... enjoyable, thanks.

Lynn Proctor said...

awww that is sad about your turn being lost to pet the little snake---that early stuff, stays with us!

Catherine said...

Dear Joyce, It is good that your looking back holds very little in regrets. Blessings, Catherine

Anna said...

So funny, Brad and Cheryl were the unfortunate ones not meeting you!

beachlover said...

Love your recall of detailed moments of regret. Nice blog, Joyce and take and approach to the topic! I can relate!

Theresa said...

I think I am the same as you. I was very timid and didn't stand up for myself when I was younger. Maybe it comes with age, but I am more bold now in standing up for myself or saying exactly what is on my mind. I find myself doing that more and more the older I get. I will probably be a really mean old lady if this contiues lol.

Joyce Lansky said...

I am so with you. It's amazing how one so quiet has become the type to embarrass her family with her boldness. Maybe one day we can kick each other's wheel chairs in the nursing home.

Joyce Lansky said...

No. No. It worked out great. I cried. They asked why, and I told them. Then I got to go to the office and have a private snake holding session. I also saw the little creature in his cage. Nobody else got to see the cage. ;D

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks for all of the wonderful comments!

laila said...

LOL!!I totally enjoyed this!!Thanks for the laughs!Hahahha.

Kathy said...

I honestly think that it is Brad's loss. If he would have met you he would never have given Angelina Jolie a second glance. :D You always make me laugh right out loud.

Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

Leovi said...

Certainly interesting thoughts on life.

Word Nerd said...

I wish I could find a gym suit like the ones we had in high school--one piece cotton (tee-shirt type cotton, not the kind that needed ironing) rompers, green on the bottom, green & white striped on the top. We all HATED them freshman year and when we started our sophomore year and were buying gym uniforms at the school store, a group of friends and I bought the shorts and tee-shirts that the boys wore, rather than the rompers. When we got grief from the gym teachers, we pointed out that the school's rule book required only that all students wear school-issued gym clothes. It didn't specify that the girls had to wear the rompers. It turned into a thing and soon pretty much all the girls bought the shorts and tees. The administrators gave in and by the next year, only the shorts and tees were offered at the school store.

I didn't like the rompers then, but if I could find some now, I'd absolutely wear them. With tube socks, of course. :O)

angelaparsonmyers said...

I always suspected the school board got kickbacks from the gym uniform manufacturers, because even when they weren't horribly ugly, they cost three times the cost of the same items without the gym uniform label. Yeah, I rebelled, too, and wore plain blue shorts and a white shirt I picked up at the dime store. (Remember those? Anybody?)