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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

#Writer's Post: The End

Here is my response to Jenn's weekly Writer's Post topic: Endings. It's ironic how things seemed to have happened in sync with her challenge.

I just unfriended someone on Facebook. I'd say I lost a friend, but I never met the lady personally. As a rule, I don't Facebook friend people I've never met in person; however, she had once had a strong connection to an important person in my life, so I made an exception.

She had latched onto me with a tight friendship grip that felt a bit suffocating. Sending me private messages ending in "love ya" and wanting to meet us in Tunica. She even called one night. I didn't particularly want to meet up with her but would go along with it. I could have done it but could tell she isn't the sort of person I want to spend a lot of time with.

She would continually post long rambles about how awful her life is, but she's blessed to have God and who knows what else. It takes up a lot of space on a Facebook wall and is a real downer to read. I want Facebook friends who make me laugh. Sure, I'm there for a long term friend having problems, but this was too deep for someone I barely knew.

I decided I'd loosen the grip by responding to one of her Obama rants. You know what a strong Democrat I am, so I took the challenge as something fun that would maybe make her realize our differences and back off a bit. I was immediately attacked by her and her cronies. One even gave me the easy challenge of posting one link to show how Romney ever abused animals. I posted three!

Apparently I said something that she took personally. I don't get how she took my statements as a personal attack because I swear, it was never intended that way. Then again, I know mentally ill people like this. They take what you say and twist it into their own demented thoughts. Then they play victim with it. These people are caustic and I avoid them like Tea Party conventions! She went on to post messages thanking others for backing her up on how I was an awful person who'd attacked her.

So, I wrote her a private message about how I thought it best we part ways before I really said something that wasn't nice. I hate games, and she wasn't telling me how I'd attacked her personally or answering me directly anyway. She in response published my private message onto her wall, mentioned my name and my husband's name, and went into a rant about how insecure I am. We're all a bit insecure at times, but the bottom line: I just don't like dealing with this type of person.

I'd feel free if I knew I was truly rid of her but also a bit saddened knowing that in her mind I hurt her. I typically don't like to blog about anything personal (and I certainly wouldn't post how awful my life is on Facebook either), but this little emotional release is a nice leap from the usual and a perfect fit for Jenn's topic this week. Forgive the intrusion. I'll go back to being funny tomorrow.

Today, she sent me a copy of a vindictive message that she sent to my sister-in-law that repeated some things I had said and even something awful about my sister-in-law that I certainly did NOT say. She has also been sending e-mails to my husband who doesn't answer. I'm telling you, stay clear of people like this! She is trying to ruin my life, but hopefully everyone she contacts knows how crazy she is. I hate to do it, but with her out there, I am changing my settings to approval mode on comments. Ugh!

As a side note, I could post her name, photo, etc. etc. but I don't work that way. I blocked her from my Facebook account and hope she steers clear from my blog because if she doesn't, she's in for a rude awakening.



18 comments:

sunny said...

thanks alot for stopping by,i real apreciate your comment,thanks alot.

Heather said...

Sorry for the grief you've suffered by sharing a differing opinion. Just one reason why I rarely talk politics or religion on my own blog--though I tend to side with you in supporting Obama.

Mostly I am tired of people blaming him for the country's financial woes. One, they seem to forget that Clinton had the national deficit paid way down, and that it took Bush eight years to dig us into the recession.

Second, people forget what a global community we now live in, and that things such as last year's natural disaster in Japan and the financial crises in Greece and Italy (etc) affect the economy here.

Thanks for commenting on my Thursday Thirteen post! ;)

Amit Herlekar said...

A very bold and honest attempt to bring a common problem into the blogoshere! I have faced such situations few times. Its awful to go through. You have mentioned the same feelings that I went through. There are narrow minded people and there are people whom you dislike (for whatever reasons) to be with. But, they get glued to you like anything even though they know you aren't comfortable being with them. What I do is stop talking and stop looking at them when they are standing right in front of me. No words! They'll feel that immediate explosive repulsion.

Well written post. Very precise and cozy!

Darlene ~Bloggity Blogger~ said...

Nothing like an election year to define friends. So far, I have deleted two frienemies who just can't stand that they were not able to beat their opinions into my head. Both people got quite ugly with me. Had they just been a little touchy or of a caliber who can have a different opinion without ruining a friendship, they would still be on my friend list, but each of them were really, REALLY aggressive. I can hold my own, but then I thought..."why should I put up with such abuse because a REAL friend would not abuse a friend"... So, I deleted them. This was quite a step for me to take because I just plain don't delete people just for being real... Now I know it didn't hurt a bit, I will likely delete some more people as the political waters heat up. Who needs that crap? I remember 2008 very well. I'm not putting up with it again...

I like when you have a serious blog. I feel like I know you a lot better now.

Kathy said...

I think you were very wise to take the steps you did. No one needs that kind of crap in their lives. I would have deleted her comments and blocked her. That would be more than enough reason for me to delete her from your face book. Life is entirely too short to deal with things like that. I applaud you for venting. Sometimes you just have got too and this is as good an outlet as any. She is obviously unbalanced and vindictive. You were right to block, delete and change your comments to approval mode. By taking these steps she will disappear. Life will go on. I am sorry you have had to deal with such an unpleasant situation but I think you have done what needed to be done for a swift resolution. My prayers are with you. Chin up my friend. You have no reason to feel bad as you did nothing wrong. It sounds to me like it is her problem. It was a time for an end to come, and it sounds like you have taken measures to necessitate that.

(HUGS)
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

Tim Neale said...

I have had similar problems, you might consider yourself lucky that you barely know this person. The best advise I had was cut any legitimate contact, and stop responding in any way.

Mojo Writin said...

You don't need me to tell you that you did the right thing. She's one of those attention seekers who like to post depressing nonsense, all but begging for sympathy whilst saying 'Really, I don't want sympathy' They are annoying, and not worth wasting reading time on, especially someone who is just a friend of a friend.

This is a peeve of mine, people who post problems looking for attention and 'Aw poor you *hugs*' type answers and proceed to completely ignore anyone who asks for specifics or gives solutions in an attempt to help. They don't want help, just someone to pay attention to them and validate how awful their life is *Scream!*

You did nothing wrong, she took umbrage at being proved wrong and went on the defensive, simple. Wave bye-bye, keep her blocked and tell family and friends what she is up to, then move right on down the road with a sparkly clean conscience *wink*

Jenn said...

Well--I am with Heather on one thing--I just do not discuss politics online--ever. I've learned that most people have their mind made up as to what political ideologies they follow and most people can NOT have a civil discourse on politics regardless if their mind is made up or not. So I'm sorry that it turned ugly for you. Sorta sucks. That said, maybe it took something like this to reveal the nutcase she really is and you are better off ending things NOW rather than later!! GEESH.

When I unfriended someone on facebook one time--she called me a few choice words. I had blocked her at the time of defriending so I couldn't see these awful things she said about me, but I had several friends print screen them--and save them as jpeg images and show me her true colors. It was at that moment I realized two things. I was MUCH better off without her and I had some good friends that had my back!! Oh and she ranted and raved about me for MONTHS after--and after awhile it became rather comical!

Thanks for hopping along :D Cheers, Jenn.

Sandra Tyler said...

I also have gotten into political fights on FB and actually with a good friend who was democrat but switched parties, god knows why. But I'm like you, i't s hard to tolerate especially when it shows up on your wall. We are actually good friends so I just don't read her rants anymore. But as to FB friends, I actually do have a lot of FB friends I haven't met, largely because I want to grow my audience for my blog and my fiberworks business. I have to say, it does clutter up my wall more than I like! But at least if I unfriend them, since they are not anyone related to anyone I know I won't have them sending nasty emails to my husband etc. Sounds like you have a real child on your hands! And enough to keep you tossing and turning for a few nights. By the way, I love your blog posts -- you do indeed have a perfect sense of humor. But I don't mind this kind of post either. sometimes in cyberspace it's the safest place to set out our emotions. To be honest, I wish no one I actually knew read my blog. I'd probably be writing about a whole lot of other stuff I don't now!

JDaniel4's Mom said...

Nice post! This really makes me thinking about what I am posting and how I am receiving replies to my posts!

Amy Morgan said...

Wow - that's quite a lesson learned and how awful of her to be so nasty! Good for you for taking the high road and not engaging her in the "pay back" game. I keep a pretty tight reign on my facebook stuff. When you mentioned how she posted your private email and made it public it made me shiver. Reminded me of a lesson I learned a long time ago. Never put in writing (to someone else) something that you wouldn't mind seeing in public (as it happened to me too). Once it's out of your hands, it's theirs to do whatever they choose to with. It was a very hard lessoned learned. I hope she goes quietly into the night for you!

Sharon Greenthal said...

Joyce, I had a similar experience with a FB friend (who I knew from childhood but hadn't seen in 35 years). She wasn't bad to me, but she went nuts on my brother after one date with him. I had to completely block her - and I'm sure she knows why. There are looney tunes on FB just like IRL!

Joyce Lansky said...

Thanks for all the wonderful comments! Y'all rock! Now I need to post something funny. What's the new topic Jenn?

B E C K Y said...

How awful! People like her are why FB gets the bad rep that it has. TOTAL DRAMA. Its not necessary on FB or in 'real life'. Good luck with that one.. something tells me she's not quite done stirring the pot yet.

Theresa said...

Wow, she has the nerve to call you insecure, yet she is the one posting all about her sucky life? Then posts your private message for all to see? I'd be glad to have her off my friends list too! As I get older, I find I have no problem deleting anyone out of my life if they are a constant debbie downer. Life's too short to deal with things and people that don't make you laugh.

Amy McMunn Schindler said...

Politics. Don't discuss politics, people. I don't even do that with my good friends, and I sure don't post that stuff on my FB page. BTW, I get why you involved yourself in the discussion, it seemed like a sound tactic to point out a big difference between the two of you.

This whole situation makes me take a step back and look with clear eyes at our involvement with social media. It's a magnificent tool for shrinking the world, yet we all do need to remember that most of our communication (unless we lose our senses) is controlled. Who knows what kind of crazy we're hiding from one another. LOLOL!!!

Good luck with your firecracker! Yeesh!!

Theresa said...

Oh, I had to come back and tell you that I would tell her to feel free with her lawsuit. They'll laugh her right out of court. Someone who lives with my sister was openly advertising what drugs they had to sell on their Facebook page. We printed it off and took it to court to prove that drugs were still an issue in my sisters home and were told that no court will take ANYTHING off Facebook as evidence to as case. So, being the childish person I am, I'd go back and actually call her a NUT! lol. Hey, if you are going to get accused, why not actually do it, especially knowing she can't use that as evidence :)

Melissa Jimenez said...

I'm part of Jenn's group too!! I really need to pay better attention to that group, get involved. I would have found your blog much sooner!!