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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Theme Thursday: Life's Uncertainties

Three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and if you eat a boatload of asparagus, your pee will stink in the morning. However, this week's Theme Thursday is not about certainties, but rather uncertainties. You know them. It's when you pass the perfume counter at the department store, see a sample and without any thought you spritz a little on your wrist. Next you know,
you smell like a dime store prostitute and that person you just interviewed with for the job you really want is headed toward you. Wait a minute, uncertainties, uncertainties, that's another certainty.

Let's try again with this topic. You find a four leaf clover, put it on the table for good luck, and you just know everything great will happen. However, you only end up with wilted leaf stains on your furniture and the same bum luck you always had. Dang! Another certainty.

Maybe this topic is talking about those things you don't expect to happen. Has anyone ever had a blow out? I did. Years ago while driving on the highway, I heard a boom and then my car bounced up and down like a kid after eating too much candy. Except unlike the child, smoke came out from under my hood instead of what comes out of a jumping toddler. It's a certainty that I'd cough over smoke or vomit, but uh oh, uncertainties.

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This topic is hard. With my fifty years of life experiences, nothing surprises me anymore. I will die one day, I will continue to pay taxes, and don't get near my pee because I LOVE asparagus. That's a certainty. What's uncertain is when I'll die, how much I'll owe in taxes next year, and how long into my old age I will be able to control my bladder. There! Life's uncertainties. Are you satisfied?


15 comments:

Sandra Tyler said...

lol. Love that you're worrying about how much you'll have to pay in taxes after your dead. And your pee doesn't stink after you eat beets but it does turn red.

Kathy said...

LOL you never fail to make me laugh!!My mom used to say is all I have to do is pay taxes and die, anything beyond that is up for negotiation. Wonderful post!! I especially loved the asparagus pee!

Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

Theresa said...

Oh yes, the perfume counter gets me every time. I'm certain that the prettier the bottle, the stinkier the perfume.

Never did find a 4 leaf clover, but glad to know it wouldn't do me any good if I did!

Catherine said...

Dear Joyce, I guess life really is a game of chance and some "dumb luck"! Blessings dearest. Catherine

Mary said...

This made me laugh. It is always uncertain whether something will make me laugh or not. You succeeded. I like asparagus too, but that is a story for another day.

ElaineLK said...

Funny post---and love your graphics, too.

Danielle L Zecher said...

This was so funny. I think it's a certainty that I will pick up the only stinky perfume on the counter to spray on myself. They seem to give the worst ones the best names.

Brian Miller said...

haha you are a riot...thanks for the light hearted take on the uncertainty theme....yeah watch out for the asparagus...smiles....very satisfied....

Binky said...

And we all get older and older every year until we don't. Which is worse.

Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye said...

This post made me laugh - particularly your comment about the dime store prostitute, we've all done that! Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday.

Mrsupole said...

This was so funny and now I am thinking that I should never eat a boatload of asparagus although I really do like it. And maybe it is best to never find a four leaf clover although I doubt I would ever recognize one if I ever saw one. Well mostly because I am not sure what clover is or where it even grows. And I hope when I die that I own a ton of taxes and hope they never get to collect them. They steal enough from us while we are alive, that is truly why it is one of life's certainties.

A really fun post for this weeks Theme Thursday, thank you for it.

God bless.

shelly said...

I've been peeing asparagus pees for the last 24 hours. I ate it two days in a row.

Grace said...

Enjoyed the light and fun post ~ And I never want to experience that blow out in the road ~

Happy day to you ~

Janet Gardner said...

Great post, gave me a few laughs and reminded me of the things I can be certain about in my life lol!
Have a good weekend,
Janet :)

Jenn said...

I really needed a laugh today--and YEP!! I found it here. A certainty for sure!! Asparagus makes your pee stink huh?? So does penicillin!! EWWW. (I thus tell the doc I'm allergic to it!) It is always uncertain whether they will believe me!

Cheers, Jenn.