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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life" Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor- Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor -Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor

Friday, May 31, 2013

Survival of the Cutest

After being up from two to three this morning, I've decided that Mowgli would never survive if he weren't so stinkin' cute; however, it could be worse. At two AM, Aleda (the only one posting at the time) writes, "Sick dog in a high-rise....not fun. :-(" Our Mowgs was just feeling playful. 

Yesterday, Judy left for a two week stint as a camp counselor, so we are the official 

"Loco parentiredness." 

The little guy fell asleep under the desk at three, so I shut the kitchen doors and crept back to bed.

At seven, Mitchell charged into the room. "I can't find Mowgli!" He'd fallen asleep on the porch with the doors closed, but puppy breath was missing. Shortly after hopping out of bed, Mitchell spotted him under the couch. See the tiny flap? He was asleep under there. I tried to pose him under the couch for a picture, but Mowgli was more interested in biting my phone.

Oh, no! Here's Mitchell asking where Mowgli is. 

"I thought he was with you," I said. Nope! He's on the porch once again looking so stinkin' cute.

Yep! Cuteness is a safety feature.


Let me leave you with the song that's 
been stuck in my head all week. 


Thursday, May 30, 2013

#GBE2: No Comfort in My Fictional World

Although impoverished, fifteen-year-old Ben enjoys his loving mother, good friends, and the comfort of his rundown home; however, his world topples when a balding weirdo storms into his apartment, shoots his mom, and kidnaps him. He rides five hours up a rain-slicked highway to a lush mansion with sculptured bushes, the scent of blossoms from the yard, and historic paintings each overhung by a fancy light.

Although his new home says, "Enjoy comfort," Ben carries anger toward a mob father who is as cold as his apartment the day the heater broke. When Ben's temper flares, he strikes the villain and then finds himself pinned to wooden paneling while being whipped. 

From then on, Ben obeys with a passive aggression until he is tricked into performing a horrendous deed. He escapes into adventures that only a few of my friends know about because no agent has been willing to read my manuscript. Comfort is a foreign concept for my book characters.


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Meet Mowgli

I have a new grand dog!

The proud mama


Love at first sight.


Cuteness is a safety feature.



Sunday, May 26, 2013

Musical Monday: School's Out!

Yay, it's Monday! This Monday is unlike my typical because I am sleeping in, drinking my coffee, and having a quiet relaxing day. Well, not really. I've been drafted to go to St. Louis at the last moment, but there's always tomorrow. Maybe I'll catch up on blog hopping. Maybe I'll read or write a good book. It doesn't matter because I'm not teaching for the next ten weeks. Summer vacation rocks and so does Alice Cooper, especially when he sing and dances with the Muppets!





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Silly Sunday: The Baby

I'm a sucker for a cute face under a sign that says, "Free Puppies." Yesterday, we visited the dog park with two and came home with three. We justified it because our middle daughter will be moving to Michigan and has been begging for a dog. She has a birthday in June, so happy, happy. 

Of course, she doesn't have a place to live and now feels pressured to find a home that takes dogs. If she can't find a pet friendly place, I guess we're stuck with the cute, little fur ball.

Thanks to Dr. Google, I learned to put liquid in his food, and he ate a little bit. The baby cries in the night because that's what babies do. However, by July, he'll be good to head to Michigan, IF my daughter finds a suitable home. Memphis gets to be triple digits in the summer, so Michigan would be better for this black boy. Judy could also find him in the snow. 

If caving in to a cute puppy without thinking is not silly, what is? Guess what I'll be posting for Wordless Wednesday?


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Theme Thursday: Trust

If one says, "I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him," that means one doesn't trust him at all; however, if one is strong, one must trust more people because one can throw individuals farther––especially weak, little wussies. 

Also, one would trust a baby. After all, they don't weigh much, so one could throw them far. Of course if one threw a baby, I trust the mother would pose a serious threat.

I could also throw my little doggy, and I trust her. We sleep together, and so far she has not bit my nose off. If she ever did, I guess I'd quit trusting her and throw her out of our bed.



On another note, I trust you know that I'm as happy as a teacher on the last day of school.  

I ♡ summer.


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Our New Nephew

They met in 7th grade, stayed best friends for five years, and dated seven years until Sunday night.


All of our kids joined the wedding party.


We danced the night away.


Beautiful Bridesmaids


I loved dancing around A & D when the men lifted their chairs.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Musical Monday: Roll Over Beethoven

As I strolled through the cemetery, strange sounds came from a grave, not exactly music, but more like random notes. I strained to listen and thought I recognized the ninth symphony, but no, it just didn't sound right. Continuing, maybe I heard the fifth symphony. Na, it was just random notes, I thought. 

A caretaker passed me, so I asked, "What is that sound?"

He said, "That's Beethoven. He's decomposing."




Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!



Saturday, May 18, 2013

My Doctor's Appointment

I took off work for my yearly physical. 

First off, a lady in the waiting room had some disease that made her look like those African children with protein deficiencies. I hope that swollen belly syndrome wasn't contagious. 

Next, when I saw the doctor, she noticed I had a rough patch on my skin, "What do you put on it?" she asked.

I don't think she was happy when I gave her the truthful answer, "Fingernails." 

After the doctor left, a nurse drew my blood. It was red. 

To quote Mr. Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Theme Thursday: Creativity

This week's prompt is creativity, which means I need to write a post unlike any you've ever read before. So, here it is:











A few years ago my letter V for the AtoZ Challenge was vacant. If you followed me back then, you've seen the blank post before, so let me try again:


Aveha ouya evera eadra aa ostpa ittenwra ina iglatinpa?


Of course there's someone out there who's read a post in pig latin. Fine. I'll try again.


Avez-vous jamais lu un poteau écrit en français ?


Ya, ya. Is it the same reader or a different one who has read a post in french? Hang in there, I'm trying to be creative. How about this?

Ah! I've got it!



Z B     R     A Z E R     X B     J Y J U F X A ,    R    

N W Z T T B C     X A     G C X D X B E     D F X A     

 U Z A D .  F Y C     W X D D W Y     L Z T     X A     

 N Y A X L Y     F Y C .


Hint: X = I 

Man this is tough! Want another hint?


Hint #2: T = G

You still don’t have it? Okay, I’ll give you one more, but this is my last hint!

Hint #3:  D = T
You want another hint?  I only get one letter in my Sunday paper. Want me to spell it out for you? Fine!

Hint #4: Z =O 

Really? You’re kidding me. Okay, but this is the real last hint.

Hint #5: J = M 
(Think. Where this blogger is from and how her Grizzlies team is finally getting some respect in basketball. Go Grizz!)

WOW! I solve these all the time in the Sunday paper, but I didn't know they were so hard to write. Did you solve it? Was this post creative enough for you? I hope you gave it your best shot because it took me forever to write a cryptograph.

Please write your answer in the comments section before I forget what it says. 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Shopping

Do Mom and Aunt Jen go shopping in heaven?

Aunt Jen (left), Mom (right)


Sunday, May 12, 2013

Musical Monday: The Neighbor

My son's friend in Nashville bought a "ridiculously nice" condo two doors down from Peter Frampton! According to Daniel, his friend does not hear Waaaa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, through his walls but is looking to talk to the rock star. Will he ask him what happened to his gorgeous, long hair?





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

100 Words on Saturday - Week 10


When one gets married, they think they know everything about the one across the aisle, but not necessarily. I'm participating in a prompt this week where I need to tell a dark secret in exactly 100 words. Oh, man. This one's baaaaaad!


 
Tim and I waited until marriage, so he didn’t know; however, I reminded myself of the date when he'd told me he's a butt man. Baby Got Back was written for him.

“I’m not normal,” I said, while he unzipped my gown. 

“Who is?” 

I slipped off my bra and revealed one bottom.

Tim scrunched his eyebrows. “If that’s your butt, what’s above your legs?”

Lowering my panties, I revealed the normal part. “In girls’ PE, I was nicknamed bi-ass for one on the chest and one below.”

“Alright!” Tim beamed. “If things get rough, I’ll turn the other cheek.”





Thursday, May 9, 2013

Theme Thursday: Mysterious Pepper Fun

sweet male
While shopping at Kroger, I learned that peppers have sexes: four bumps on the bottom is a female pepper, which is firm and good for cooking, while the three bump variety means a sweet male. I never knew vegetables were sexual beings. Of course, the way they dance around the vine, it shouldn't surprise anyone to learn of magic in the field.

So the females have more bumps and curves. Hm? Furthermore, girl peppers carry more seeds that make her
bloated female
heavier, kinda like that time of the month, although they are permanently bloated.

I also have to wonder if sweet males like to hang on vines with other sweet male peppers or do all peppers have fun together? If the males and females hang together, is it like one big vegetable orgy?

Every time I think I've heard it all, I learn more. I guess some peppers grow red after hanging around with their bumpy bottoms showing. 

Woo baby! Wanna hang on my vine?
You'll never think of peppers the same way, will you?


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: My Freezer-The Post I Never Wrote




Sunday, May 5, 2013

Promote Your Book Bloghop: Meet and Greet

While catching up on blog visits, I learned that I'm signed up for a Meet and Greet blog hop. I don't remember signing up, but then again, I don't remember much these days.


So, listen up Buttercup: since I rarely answer questions about myself, please seize the opportunity to learn secrets about me. I bet you didn't even know I can touch my nose with my tongue and have the rarest common blood type, AB Negative. But no one wants to know that.

This is what was asked . . .

What is your favorite animal?  
My dogs, or course
 
Where have you traveled to (outside of your country), and what's been your favorite destination? 
I'm an American who has traveled to France, Italy, Ireland, Israel, Canada, Mexico, and Bermuda. Each place has been wonderful, so it's hard to choose a favorite. I enjoy warm places with oceans and beaches, but then again history rocks!
How many siblings do you have?
I have one brother and two sisters, and they are all older than me, which means they are REALLY old.
 
Are you a lefty or a righty?
I'm a lefty, which means I'm in my right mind. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body, and the right side of the brain controls the left side, so us left handed people are the only ones in our right minds.

Since picking a favorite book is nearly impossible, who is your favorite author or which one has had the most influence on you in your writing career?

I love Margaret Peterson Haddix and Gordon Korman. Peterson for her heart-pumping action and Kormen for making me laugh. There are many other fab authors. As far as who has most influenced my writing career, it would have to be all of those Midsouth authors who I've met through SCBWI. Josh Adams, Peterson's agent, will be at our next SCBWI conference. Woo hoo!

Joyce Lansky teaches intellectually gifted children, is active in SCBWI, and has completed five novels. In May 2011, she published a story in AppleSeeds magazine, a division of Carus. She currently blogs at Catch My Words. If her blog makes you laugh, please inquire about her MG and YA humor manuscripts that are looking for a home. jlanskyATcomcastDOTcom.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

Memphis, Tennessee
Part of Memphis in May is the ever popular Beale Street Music Festival, which brings a plethora of sought after rock stars to entertain the young. Along with the musicians comes thunder storms every dang year, but rain or shine the party continues.

Photo by Judy Lansky
Last night, my girls ventured downtown to enjoy the festivities. My daughter posted on Facebook, "I just fell more in love with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (if that is even possible) #edwardsharpe #iloveyou #bealestreetmusicfest." 

So I asked what every mother of my persuasion asks, "Is he Jewish?" 

She said, "No Mom. That's the name of the band not the singer."

I looked up the band on Youtube and found this must share video. Adorable!




Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.



PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

#GBE2 : How To Be A Slob

This week's GBE2's topic is "write a how to post." My freshman English teacher gave
me this same assignment at the University of Missouri. Not knowing which topic to choose, my  roommate and I brainstormed topics. When the idea of, "How to be a slob" came up, I turned to Rhonda (Laugh Quotes) and said, "How do you be a slob? You're so good at it?"

She said,  "I'll show you." Next, she opened my underwear drawer and dumped everything out of it. So I did the same to hers. And the next drawer, and the next . . . before long we were tossing everything in the room into the air, to the point where we'd attracted an audience in the hall who couldn't understand why we were laughing.

That Dear Readers, is how 
 one becomes a slob.