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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Thursday, October 31, 2013

#GBE2: Only the Ending

With so many stories, I had a tough time deciding which ending to post for this week's GBE2 prompt to end a story and leave your readers wondering what happened to get to this point. Here is a little gem I call, Beam Me Up From the Girls' Bathroom
 
            Celia whispered to Macy. Macy whispered to Celia, and I was stuck waiting for the answer that could ruin my life.
            “Fine.” Celia stomped toward her desk with Macy tagging along. “You win, creep!” She yelled across the room.
            Just then Logan, the coolest kid in school, said, “That’s right! My grandma took me in the girls’ bathroom.” The excited boys gathered around him.
            “What does it look like?”
            “You’re so lucky!”
            “I wish my grandma would take me there.”
             “My grandma takes me in the girls’ bathroom all the time,” I said.       

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Halloween Fun

 
And, here's something fun circulating on Facebook.


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Musical Monday: World Series Fun

Let's go Cards!


What a game last night! It was the bottom of the ninth with two guys on deck and one out when a grounder slides between first and second. One runner is out at home but when the catcher goes for the double play, he over throws the ball. The third baseman falls and raises his legs tripping runner Allen Craig onto the ground. He gets up and is barely tagged out at home but is called SAFE due to obstruction at third base. The Cardinals win game three of the World Series 5-4! Unfortunately, tonight doesn't look as good for my Cards, but it's not over yet.


I have found memories growing up in St. Louis and watching Lou Brock steal bases. Ozzie Smith was a phenomenon back when with an incredible following. He asked my dad and uncles to do a television ad for their furniture and appliance store. All he wanted as payment was a refrigerator. 
I can't believe they said, "No!"


Below is a link to a great clip from the Boston and St. Louis Symphony Orchestras; however, I can't get it to load, so you'll have to link there.


Finally, here's a fun Pepsi commercial. Enjoy!



 Let's go Cards!





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.






PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


Thursday, October 24, 2013

GBE2's Three Story Challenge


GBE2’s weekly prompt is to write three five sentence stories. Each story must be independent of the other stories. Sure. I can do that.

Spiderman

From the television set, Spiderman pointed his fingers and blasted the bad guy with his sticky web.
       “Hollywood has it so wrong,” Spiderman said.
       “What do you mean?” Mary Jane asked.
       Spiderman stood and turned his back to Mary Jane and then sent multiple spider threads out of his ass with a loud fart. “Have you ever seen a spider spin a web from its fingers?”


The Fog

Faint street lamps glow through the window of the office complex as Christopher yanks his  work out of the printer and slides the papers into his briefcase. At half past ten, he knows he must head for home where his wife will question his late hours, again. Outside his office, a misty fog settles over the desolate parking lot, so Christopher taps his remote and is soothed by the flashing lights of his black Eos. As he curves around a bend of the deserted back street, something swoops out of the fog and splatters his windshield with the crimson blood of a fresh kill. With his heart pounding in his ears, Christopher slams his breaks and gingerly steps out of the car to see what lifeless animal will stain the road; nothing. 



Reincarnation

After standing in this forest for 237 years, my brittle arms grow tired of holding leaves that will only dry out and tumble to the solid Earth below. We've seen many of our friends die from the ax of a lumberjack, but I do not fear him for he will provide me with a new beginning. The wisp of a man dragging his sharp tool toward me can't be more than twenty and hardly seems like the executioner I've dreamed of for the past thirty-seven yearsthe time since I decided that I’d lived too long. The kid continually swings his ax into my trunk until I topple onto the rain-soaked ground. Now that I’ve been reincarnated into Fifty Shades of Gray, life has become more interesting than watching trees grow in the woods.



Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Lea & Hans Drive a Minivan

Even the most exciting people eventually turn into boring adults. 



Sunday, October 20, 2013

Musical Monday: Playing Dead








Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.






PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Facebook

Unknown college student Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook in February, 2004 as a 
social networking site for Harvard students. Who would have thought it would spread from college students to those in high school, and eventually to middle school tweens? But wait, now your dog has a page along with your mother and grandmother. So either you learn how to block unwanted stalkers or keep it clean. Here's the filter my kids must have purchased because I never see anything inappropriate on their sites, even when I check out their pages in that stalking mom kind of way.




Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Flu Shot

If you haven't gotten your flu shot yet, 
GO GET IT TO BE PROTECTED.

It's just a little bruise.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Musical Monday: The Cardinals Rock

I always said that the Cardinals rock. Here's a short clip to show you it's true.


Proud to have been born and raised 
in St. Louis. Go Cards!






Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.






PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Soccer Mom

Years ago, I spent many evenings and several weekends on the side of soccer fields watching my son play. On a visit to Nashville, I revived my soccer mom roll by attending a
Victorious Secret Game. The players have changed quite a bit as well as the climate of the game. My son's team grabbed any pink shirt as they held back to keep from showing up their less skilled opponents. A highlight of the game came when a player tried to kick a ball into goal, but instead, the defender kneed the ball back at him. 

"My nuts! He got me in the nuts!" The young man hollered.

So at the end of the game, I did what any soccer mom would do. I asked him, "How are your nuts?"

He went into more details than I needed to know about his nuts, which are fine. 

Final score: Victorious Secrets 4 / Other team 1

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Butt Buddies

At the writer's conference, I met my butt buddy.

The stranger was trying to pass 
behind me in a narrow aisle. 
That was weird.

 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Musical Monday Meets Numa Numa


Back in 2004, my son traveled to Israel where he heard a top Romanian song playing on the radio. He bought the cd and brought the song home to his friends. The teens instantly loved Ozone and ended up dancing to the Numa Numa song at the end of their youth group musical. Soon after that, a fat kid made an internet sensation of himself as he danced to this song. Here is the original music video by Ozone.


And the dancing fat kid's version of it . . .








Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.






PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!



Monday Music Moves Me's theme is to have a song with a man's, woman's, boy's, or girl's name in the title. Since no one around here knows what "Dragostea Din Tei" means anyway, I figure I can get away with this song.


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Smile Brilliant! Giveaway

Each year when I attend the Southern Women's Festival, I pass multiple ladies participating in a teeth whitening exhibit, which costs a lot of money. Maybe the company offered a discount at the show, but it was still well over one-hundred dollars.  I know this procedure is costly because today I received the Groupon below.


Teeth-Whitening Treatment
B. Center
Memphis — 4 miles from Home
45-minute blue-light treatments can render teeth two to eight shades brighter
 Xtreme Teeth-Whitening Treatment
View Deal $400 $145
Even with the discount, the price is still ridiculous.


I recently received a package from Smile Brilliant that included everything I needed to whiten my smile. The kit sells for $69.95 but is on sale for $39.95. I've really wanted to do this because my smile has grown yellow over the years, but our budget is tight since we've put two kids through college and a third is halfway through. I've questioned the dentist about whitening treatments, but he also quoted a hefty price tag for the procedure. Dang! I figured I'd never have white teeth again, until I stumbled on a blogging opportunity to try a home whitening kit and blog about it. I hope it works.

First I took a picture of my chompers on Sunday, Sept. 29th with my cell phone. Although I hate to point out my faults, my teeth are yellowish in all but the tips. My tips are white because as a little girl, I fell and scraped my enamel. One might say, that's not bad, the tips of my teeth are white; however, this feature makes my yellowing teeth more noticeable due to the contrast.

Next, I had to remove the plastic between batteries on my glow light. This allows it to work. The hard part came when I tried to get gel out of the pen. My directions didn't say anything about twisting the bottom, so I fought with the thing until I visited the company's website, which instructed me to twist the bottom of the pen repeatedly to get the gel to move up to the brush. I was told that gel pens are stored with the brush side up to keep them from leaking during shipment and the gel settles in the bottom of the pen. For this reason, I might have to twist my pen 20-30 times. I twisted the thing 40 times before any gel rose to the surface. After getting the gel onto the brush, the rest was easy. Paint each tooth, put the plastic guard over the teeth, insert the ridiculous looking blue light into the mouth, and wait.

The gel had that fresh dental taste to it, not that I'd recommend eating it, but it is meant to go into the mouth and felt okay in there.

Here I am looking stupid with this blue light thing sticking out of my mouth. Kinda reminds me of Millie with her tongue hanging out, but as I always told my kids, "We do things for beauty." Beauty even hurts sometimes (like the eyebrow tweeze), but this procedure is painless. Plus, my husband liked it because it kept me from talking. The directions say to keep the Whitening Light in the mouth for (20-45 minutes) and if you have time continue whitening for an additional 20-120 minutes. The longer you do it, the better the results. I was looking stupid for one hour and ten minutes; however, it's okay to look stupid when no one is around to see you–––unless you take a picture and post it on your blog.

Are you ready for the results? Below is what happened after one use. My kit has seven uses, so I can keep doing this and watch my teeth get whiter and whiter every time. The procedure was easy enough for even me, so I will do this again and again until my teeth look pretty enough to compete in the Miss Tennessee pageant.

The result are hard to see with a lousy phone camera like mine, but I have no doubt that my teeth are looking slightly better after this first application, and my husband concurs. They're nice and shiny, too.


I tried this again three days later, and here are my teeth after the second application.


After only two applications, I'm happy with this product and am eager to see how much whiter my teeth will get. I would highly recommend Smile Brilliant to friends and family. You may order your kit through their website at http://www.smilebrilliant.com. Please let me know if it works for you, too.

So what do you think? 
Is my SmileBrilliant?
 

If you'd like to try Smile Brilliant, write a comment on this post, and I'll send the winner a coupon code. Since I'm not one of these fancy bloggers, I guess I'll just have to write your names on paper and reach into a paper sack.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Bad Day

WOOF! WOOF!

                                Snip. Snip.

                                                       arf. arf.


And you think you had a bad day?

Photo by Judy