Catch My Products

Catch My Products
Click on the image to visit Catch My Products.

My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life" Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor- Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor -Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Not On My Chinny Chin Chin

Although I haven't been a gum chewer since childhood, I'm trying to get back in the habit. It's a desperate attempt for an old, fat lady to avoid the dreaded double chin. According to a Youtube video, there are many things one can do to fix this unsightly problem. I could coat my chin with a raw egg-white solution, gross. The video advised not to leave it on too long or it could cook. I could just see that in Memphis. After heading outside, eggs would permanently mold onto my face or I'd be attacked by every hungry dog in the neighborhood.

Another possibility is chin exercises. Head up, head down, tongue in, tongue, out. Kiss, kiss the ceiling. Hopefully it won't kiss back . . . especially the spot where the upstairs toilet overflowed. Actually, one is not supposed to climb chairs and put lips to the ceiling. It's just one of those blow kisses you did as a kid when you didn't want to kiss your scraggly old aunt. Of course, now I'm the ancient aunt who demands the kisses.

Let's face it, the easiest exercise of all is gum chewing. Well, it's supposed to be easy but I find it quite painful. After over an hour of straight chewing, my jaw wants to sleep. You'd think it would be no biggie after all the chewing I've done when over indulging in food, but even I don't chew that much. 

I've also had a pet peeve about gum chomping. Being next to a chomper drives me nuts. Now, I'm trying to chomp to get full benefit of that lousy stick of gum that lost all its flavor after five minutes. 

Enough rest. Time to grab a stick of sugarless. Which reminds me of the librarian from seventh grade. Ms. Lizzy Kirk would circle the library with her super powered nose. Finally, she'd catch the gum chewing culprit and sing, "Ah smmellll Juicy Fruit!"

Now, enjoy some chin singing.






15 comments:

joeh said...

Every time I chew gum I lose a filling. Better a saggy chin then a toothless grin.

Lisa Isabella Russo said...

That's funny... I may take up gum chewing too...

indah nuria Savitri said...

can't agree more...chewing gum is soooo much fun...and that chin song is hilarious ..

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Try Juicy Fruit!!!

boopnut said...

Think I will stick with the double chin and not the gum!
Deb

stevebethere said...

LOL chewing gum is the sensible choice Joyce (I knew I would get that in somewhere)It's no big deal becoming a full time chomper.

A bit of advice though don't let your aunt see this LOL

I always thought mouths look hilarious upside down singing or talking.

Have a chomptastic weekend :-)

mail4rosey said...

Def. don't try the eggs. The hypotheticals you offered are reason enough to steer clear. :)

messymimi said...

Maybe i need to go buy a pack of spearmint gum! It could help, i guess.

Theresa Mahoney said...

The egg reminds me that my sister used to shower in extreme hot water. She decided to condition her hair with an egg one day, and yep, that hot water cooked the egg into her hair. Funniest thing ever trying to watch her pick it all out!

I also get a sore jaw when I chew gum, so try to avoid it. However, it it prevents a double chin, the pain may be worth it!

Carol Graham said...

The best and easiest way to prevent that double chin is Vitamin C - it builds collagen which keeps the skin tight and creates the elastic effect. Not as much fun as chewing gum but..,. another thing it prevents is the saggy upper arms.

Binky said...

Maybe some sort of elastic chin strap that wraps around your ears to keep everything in place?

Rory Bore said...

that's it, I am chewing gum again as of today. or, is that tobacco stuff still fashionable? ha! no, I don't think so. I do remember this gum called Big League Chew though - that should last a whole day.
Love the chinny chin chin video! awesome

Rhonda Albom said...

Interesting, is it true? Seems like an easy solution as long as you stay out of Singapore (I think it is a $300 fine for chewing gum).

Sarah E. Albom said...

When my sister wants to make a funny face, she can pull her neck in in some way and make herself have about four chins :).

J. Lenni Dorner said...

I never heard that gum chewing could help. Interesting.