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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Sunday, August 31, 2014

#MM New Stuff

Here are some fun songs that I've recently heard on the radio. 

Taylor Swift just released "Shake It Off" about two weeks ago.



"Text Me in the Morning" by Neon Trees 
was published in April.




Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!




Saturday, August 30, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors 8/31/14

It's time for another Weekend Writing Warriors!



Check out eight line snippets at: http://www.wewriwa.


Here's another snippet from my YA manuscript, BEING BENITO CARLEFFA.


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I swung my backpack over one shoulder and then noticed Bryson shoving Austin. The big guy towered a full foot over little Austin and could have easily fit his victim into one of his pant legs.
“Leave him alone, Bryson.” I stepped close enough to see three blackheads surrounding a red splotch on Bryson’s cheek. He must have picked something open, again.
            Bryson’s chest rose and fell as he curled his hands into tight fists. “Always snooping in other people’s business, aren’t you, tool?”
            “Just looking out for my friend, douche.” 

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Thursday, August 28, 2014

Life

I looked up while grinding watermelon rind and saw a strange man in my kitchen. Oh, yeah, I'm married! Do you ever go through times when you get so busy that you barely see your spouse? Me neither. But he's been working late. I didn't even see him one night or the next morning. I even wondered if he came home, but I saw a few tell tale signs, like the dogs not jumping on me to eat.


Later, Mitchell told me I spoke to him when he got in. I don't remember. One of these days, he's going to quit practicing law and do it right. That means, not having to work such long hours. Don't worry. He's not having an affair. After twenty-eight years of marriage, he knows if he did, I'd just hop in bed between him and his mistress. After one night of my snoring, she'd dump him.

Then again, I stayed at school until almost seven on Tuesday night; however, part of my delay was due to the gym teacher starting a kick boxing class. He wanted me to kick him in the knee, but I couldn't do it. I might miss the knee and keep this young man from becoming a father. 

I worked out with the thirty-somethings and the twenty-nine-year-old, and the used to be kid who jumped rope with my kids before she grew up to be a teacher. I should have warned her. I'm in trouble when it's time to spar these young adults. At least I'm there. Who knows, the Taekwondo red belt from my youth might come in handy. If nothing else, I can still do a loud k'ihap.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

#MM Happy Songs

There are so many songs that make me happy, that's it's hard to narrow this down to a few. Since the Pharrell Williams song will probably be on just about everyone's blog, I won't feature it. But, let me highlight these tidbits. First up is a great old song by Cool and the Gang. Yes, you know it! Celebration



Next up is one of my favorite happy songs from the first movie I ever saw in the theater. When Mary Poppins came out in the early sixties, my mom took my sibs but left me at home. She said, "I couldn't sit through a movie." Having never been to a movie, I pictured high wobbly chairs that one had to balance on, because why else couldn't I "sit" through it? A few years later this gem hit the big screens, and I enjoyed going to see The Jungle Book. Here's Swingdance.



My last happy song comes from a musical. Let's face it, many musical songs make me happy, so it was tough picking just one. My high school put on South Pacific, and the Honey Bun song has stuck with me, so here it is.







Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Weekend Writing Warriors - 8/24/14


   Weekend Writing Warriors
8/24/14

 
Come join the hop to read an awesome eight from published and unpublished authors at: http://www.wewriwa.

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I know I'd already posted my first eight lines of my manuscript, but I decided on a rewrite as a result of a critiquer's advice. Hopefully this new beginning will jump the reader, agent, or editor into the story sooner.
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       I tried to focus on Ms. Link’s daily review, but it was pointless once I’d spotted the fat guy outside. He had hung under a tree for the past half hour with his bug eyes aimed straight at me, or at least it seemed that way. I rubbed my hand over my stiff neck and noticed that my shoulders had inched upwards. Knowing I had to stop this stalker, I got out of my chair and headed toward the window. Maybe if I closed it, he wouldn’t be able to see inside.
       “Ben, what are you doing?” Ms. Link asked.
       “Sorry, m’am. I was cold. Thought I’d close the window.”

       “I don’t think so,” she sang. “You can’t do that to a menopausal women. I’ll be burning like the steel under Carnegie’s furnaces.”


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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Not On My Chinny Chin Chin

Although I haven't been a gum chewer since childhood, I'm trying to get back in the habit. It's a desperate attempt for an old, fat lady to avoid the dreaded double chin. According to a Youtube video, there are many things one can do to fix this unsightly problem. I could coat my chin with a raw egg-white solution, gross. The video advised not to leave it on too long or it could cook. I could just see that in Memphis. After heading outside, eggs would permanently mold onto my face or I'd be attacked by every hungry dog in the neighborhood.

Another possibility is chin exercises. Head up, head down, tongue in, tongue, out. Kiss, kiss the ceiling. Hopefully it won't kiss back . . . especially the spot where the upstairs toilet overflowed. Actually, one is not supposed to climb chairs and put lips to the ceiling. It's just one of those blow kisses you did as a kid when you didn't want to kiss your scraggly old aunt. Of course, now I'm the ancient aunt who demands the kisses.

Let's face it, the easiest exercise of all is gum chewing. Well, it's supposed to be easy but I find it quite painful. After over an hour of straight chewing, my jaw wants to sleep. You'd think it would be no biggie after all the chewing I've done when over indulging in food, but even I don't chew that much. 

I've also had a pet peeve about gum chomping. Being next to a chomper drives me nuts. Now, I'm trying to chomp to get full benefit of that lousy stick of gum that lost all its flavor after five minutes. 

Enough rest. Time to grab a stick of sugarless. Which reminds me of the librarian from seventh grade. Ms. Lizzy Kirk would circle the library with her super powered nose. Finally, she'd catch the gum chewing culprit and sing, "Ah smmellll Juicy Fruit!"

Now, enjoy some chin singing.






Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: Stressed

Are you stressed?

Although the two dolphins in the photo are identical, doctors say that people under stress do not see them that way. Look at the picture and you tell me. 

If you do not see two identical dolfins . . .

You are stressed!