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Thursday, July 16, 2015

Trump Finances Prison Escapes for Monkeys and Other Living Things


Last week, Zimm the monkey mysteriously escaped from the Memphis zoo. The FBI and CIA have been investigating the so named Monkey-Gate situation only to discover it was masterminded by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, who wanted to use the monkey's fur to craft a new toupee.


Apparently,  Trump was so distraught over the legalization of gay marriage that he set out to prove Conservative claims that the legalization of gay marriage will lead to Beastiality. Authorities discovered that Trump paid a zoo keeper $2000 to claim a relationship with the monkey and use power tools to orchestrate her escape. When questioned about the situation, Trump said, "We've got to have stricter border patrol between zoos and civilizations or we will inherit multiple monkey diseases." 

What's next for the Trumpster? You've heard it on the news. He's now out to prove his claims against Mexico by tossing a few pesos to the jailers who dug tunnels. 

Trump made racially insensitive claims that Mexico sends their worst people to the US.  If that were the case, we should do the same to them and pack up the Trumpster for a long Mexican vacation. Of course being that it's not true, we should still send Donald Trump to Mexico.

6 comments:

mail4rosey said...

Very Onion-esque indeed! :) Do they take submissions?

Have a great weekend!

Rhonda Albom said...

Funny stuff Joyce, especially the monkey rug and your solution. Hope Trump enjoys his holiday in Mexico.

Pat Hatt said...

lol good to always have a spare wig. Should ship Trump to the Bermuda Triangle and hope it swallows him up.

Binky said...

He is definitely, um, unique.

Debbie D. said...

Funny stuff; especially that photo! ☺ PLEASE ship Trump off to Mexico! We wouldn't miss him, except for the comic relief.

messymimi said...

Trump needs to go find something else to do. Maybe experiment with living on a small, fixed income in a low-end rental.