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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Showing posts with label #AtoZ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #AtoZ. Show all posts

Thursday, April 26, 2012

#AtoZ : The Wabbit from Warner Brothers

For W, I came close to writing a post about our former president because there is plenty of humor surrounding him; however, I chose not to upset half my reading population with my politics. So, here's a post about someone more intelligent: The Warner Brother's Wabbit.


Who does not know and love that wascally wabbit Bugs Bunny? Although I've always been one who likes to sleep in, Bugs was worth getting up early for on a Saturday morning. Not only do I love his cleverness in escaping Elmer Fudd, but his Bronx accent is the best! They just don't make cartoons like Bugs Bunny anymore. Just think of the greatness America could have achieved, or the horrors we could have avoided, if W was as smart as Bugs Bunny!

Enjoy.



If you haven't had enough, here's another good one–short too.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Monday, April 23, 2012

#AtoZ : Tattoos

My daughter and her friend got temporary tattoos.


I am thankful for two things: 

(1) My daughter Erica is the girl on the right–no offense Lisa, but you look freaky.
(2) These are TEMPORARY tattoos.

Although I've never had a real tattoo, I have decorated my body with some made from henna. These will last most people two weeks or so. Mine are usually shorter because after a week, I scrub my skin raw to make them fade.

Here's a collection of weird ones I copied from the internet. This would have made a good Wordless Wednesday post–darn it–but with the multitude of pictures, I can always hold out for "Tattoo Two" one day.

If I were bald, I would so have to do this. Teehee.

Prison Gang Tattoo
Kimberly requested three stars on her face then fell asleep and woke up to this.


Yeah. It's pretty bad miscommunication, but would you lend your face to the tatoo artist below? Duh!



Saturday, April 21, 2012

#AtoZ : Shots

Last week, a fifth grader headed into class late. I asked him where he'd been, to which he said, "I got eleven-year-old shots."

I said, "Why'd you get such old shots?"

He said, "Huh?"

"Why'd they give you eleven-year-old shots? Why didn't they give you fresh medicine? Don't the drugs expire after eleven years?"

He caught on and had a good laugh, so I asked him if he cried when he got his old shots? He laughed again. Boys don't cry over shots, do they? I wish I could have been as brave when I was a child.

As a youngster–four, five, or maybe sixteen–I don't remember, the doctor told me I was going to get a shot. Naturally, I did what any chicken would do, I took off running out the door in my underwear. I had a string of nurses and various other folks chasing me through the halls. Finally, they caught me. Yes, kiddies, there's no escaping the shot once the doctor orders it.

Also, as a child, I once told the doctor he was nasty. What did he expect? The man asked me to take off my clothes. But that has nothing to do with those shots that were never worth the sucker.

When it comes to shots, there's only one kind I like.
White Russian: shot vodka, shot kahlua, and milk

Friday, April 20, 2012

#AtoZ : Running in Place

At my school, us teachers are involved in a step counting competition. We each wear a step counter all day every day and try to up our mileage by running in place or any other something we can do. Although my team's current position is pathetic, we keep trying.

What's been especially fun is the multitude of junior personal trainers I've found sitting in my classes. On Tuesday, a group of boys at recess said, "Come on Ms. Lansky, run in place."

I said, "I will if you will."

They gave their okay and easily ran in place while playing four square at the same time. Never, ever, challenge a kid in a fitness contest. You will lose every time!

Last Friday was also fun as I headed around the playground with a small group of fourth graders. We sang walking in Memphis. What else would we sing in this city?

Too bad my step counter keeps turning off or not counting steps sometimes. It hasn't worked as well since I dropped it in the toilet.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Wordless Wednesday : Q


Not knowing what to write about for the letter Q, I did research at Urban Dictionary. Here's what the letter Q means.

Q - fact "Q" is the only letter that does not appear in any of the names of the 50 states in America.

This is great information. I'm grateful that someone took the time to discover this!

Q - an O with a fancy tail

So does that make T an I with a fancy hat? Or maybe L is an I with a swollen toe? E must be an old F. You know–the way one gets when body parts droop?

Q - The bald, old scientist in the James Bond movies who always had the coolest inventions but none of the girls.

Having never been one to watch James Bond, I'll have to take this one as fact since it comes from a reliable source.

Q - A hi-tech nerd with no game.

Doesn't hi-tech nerd mean someone who plays lots of lame games?
 
Q - Powerful foe from Star Trek. 
  So that's what they call that dude.
Q - Cool, Hip, Fly

I'm so glad to become educated from Urban Dictionary. I had no idea, but now...

Are you ready?
 


Wait for it.



Here goes.



I raised my IQ.



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

#Wordless Wednesday Meets #AtoZ : "Oh, no!"

Here's why I don't automatically kiss boo boos:

Judy and me - 1991

My little girl darted to me while crying, "My Finger." 

Without question, I kissed it--to which she said, "I pee peed on my finger."


Monday, April 16, 2012

#AtoZ: Names

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up." ~Benjamin Franklin

My name wasn't in the paper, so I survived after the "M" post. Are you ready for N? 

When it comes to "Names," I've had a few. Growing up as the youngest of four children, my mother called me, "Ed, I mean Bar, I mean Be, I mean Joyce!" Good thing the dog's name didn't come before mine. 

Then there was dinner time when I wanted to know my Hebrew name. My parents might have given me one at birth but couldn't remember it multi-years later, so my brother told me my name was, "Boris." 

"No! What is my Hebrew name?" I'd ask.
He repeated, "Boris!"

Finally, I got married and had to know my Hebrew name. As it turns out, I don't actually have one because my name is Yiddish. "Sheindel." At least it's better than Boris.

"One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."  ~Erma Bombeck


Friday, April 13, 2012

#AtoZ : My Lansky Love

Today, Friday the thirteenth is a lucky day for my husband who turns 47--he counts his years backwards ever since his fiftieth birthday. I'd love to get him a scrumptious cake, but it's Passover, so I'll have to figure out something else to make his birthday special. How about a post devoted just to him?

Although Mr. Lansky's first name is Mitchell, I refer to him as Superman. He's run seven or so marathons and has participated in too many triathalons to count. Last fall, Superman trained 150 people to bike 100 miles. Of course his unfit wife freaks on the major streets.

Not only is Lansky a super athlete but also a super husband as well. Superman does dishes, which every woman knows is highly sexy.

Furthermore, if I need something, be it feminine products or whatever, he will race out the door for me... and as an athlete, he's fast too. Also, Superman is highly intelligent. Not only did he get through law school and has been practicing for many years (still hasn't gotten it right since he practices), he also had the good sense to marry me.

In case that's not enough, my husband has been an outstanding father who has guided our three children into adulthood with patience and understanding. He knows how to talk to people whether its telling the kids what to do or negotiating million dollar deals. 

So, Happy Birthday, my Lansky Love!


Saturday, April 7, 2012

#AtoZ : Good Golly

In case you didn't read enough about my colonoscopy, here's more. First, we drove to the Surgery Center and parked near signs like this:



Which made no sense because patients undergoing procedures aren't allowed to drive. 

Next, I headed to the reception desk where the lady asked me to show ID, as if someone is going to fake being me so they can have a probe stuck up their butt. After a short sleep, all was fine.

Then I came home and watched Helen Hayes in Airport. Classic! Good golly, the world has changed. A lady stows away on an airplane by saying, "My son lost his wallet," while a man kung fu grips a bomb in a brief case onto a plane without screening nor questioning. Next, a pilot argues with the aircraft control, and they listen to him. Plus, a lady cuts in line to ask a question and gets a polite answer from smiling airport staff! Good golly.

Personally, Airport was good, but I like the remake better. Airplane!




Wednesday, April 4, 2012

#AtoZ : Dancing

My Old Stomping Grounds

Thanks to Beth, the GBE2 group has graciously included letter topics that follow suit with the A to Z challenge, so here is a double whammy of #GBE2 and #AtoZ all in one post.

I tended to be a bit more outgoing in my youth. I'll never forget the time I visited The Deja Vu at the University of Missouri and found no one on the dance floor, so I grabbed a chair, waltzed out to the middle of the circle, and spun it around for a few rounds. Next, I knew others followed suit to bring about a floor filled with chairs and people. The most ironic part: I hadn't had a drop to drink!

The Early Years


While dating my husband, we used to go dancing all the time. I believe it was one of our first dates when he made the mistake of singing in my ear while on the dance floor. It took everything in me not to belt out a laugh over his grossly off tune tones. His singing is so bad that his high school music teacher told him to, "Shut up and lip sync." At least it wasn't a deal breaker.  


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

#AtoZ Meets #WW : Clever

I felt added pressure to come up with correct solutions when I couldn't think of an alternative "Wordless C" post.


I love Sudoku too–especially the five stars!



Am I "clever" or a "certified" nerd who spends valuable time on newspaper puzzles? 


Monday, April 2, 2012

#A to Z: Beautiful Babies

Daniel Son
Now that I've successfully raised three babies to adulthood, I have to wonder how they survived. Maybe their cuteness worked as a safety feature to keep them alive after they woke me at 3 AM. Daniel, our oldest, was the teaching model back in the days when we didn't know you were supposed to squeeze the snot snatcher before sticking it in the kid's nose, not after. Thankfully he was an easy going kid who didn't cry over our stupidity.

Judy the Cutie
Once we decided we were the perfect parents, Judy came into our lives. She had a habit of crying in restaurants when the mayor of Memphis was in the next booth. I believe it was three nights in close proximity when my husband grabbed the screaming kid to take her outside the building. These restaurants were in totally opposite sides of town, yet there he was--former Mayor Dick Hackett. Now that the young lady is twenty-one years old, she doesn't scream in restaurants. Of course, we never see the former mayor either. I think he quit dining out.


Erica our youngest
Erica, our youngest baby, was the ultimate pack and carry kid. By the time she got into her crib, she was so excited to be put down that she never raised a fuss. Maybe its personality because she's still easy going.

This was a favorite that hung in the Fox Photo Store

Can you guess the baby? That's what we do on those photos that we had forgotten to label.
I thought it was Erica, but Judy had said it's not. (?)

Where has the time gone? This photo's a little old too.
I miss the furry gray-faced child on the left. :(


Here are some recent photos in case you are interested. 
I still love my babies!

Daniel Son - age 24 in four days
My Judy and Me - age 21 (her not me)
You must have been a beautiful baby. Hey 19.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

#AtoZ: Abducted by Aliens

Every now and then, there comes a time in a blogger's life when we feel compelled to share something private that we know we probably should keep to ourselves. Here's my story:

Back in the early 1970s, twelve year old me was abducted by aliens. I know you're probably thinking I'm nuts but if you read on, this just might make sense. I was upstairs brushing my teeth when these round red things tumbled out of my ear, grew to my size, and said, "You shall leave this earthy milieu and tailgate with us to our distant territory."

My heart pounded in my chest as I barely squeaked out the words, "Say what?"

They touched each other's digits, that protruded from their hips and said, "Approach with us."

I screamed.

Mom darted up the stairs and banged on the bathroom door, "Joyce! What's wrong?"

Before I could answer, these weird, fat aliens whisked me away in a storm of dull light circulating around me and giving off a scent like strawberries dipped in bleach.  My woozy head turned like Linda Blair's from the Exorcist, yet my vocal cords locked in place.

I landed in their space ship. I think. It didn't hover in the sky nor ground itself on Earth. I shook on a platform in some cave where red water splashed then echoed off its walls.

I've been afraid to speak of this experience because it's kinda embarrassing, especially when I peed my pants in front of the aliens. They made some high-pitched noise that didn't sound like laughing, but maybe it was. Who knows with space creatures? Then they strapped me to a gurney and touched me with their side digits. The moisture from my wet underwear instantly dried along with the tears in my eyes, saliva in my mouth and anything else containing bodily fluid. My fingers looked like prunes and I figured I'd die from dehydration. Next, a being bent down and whispered in my ear, "April Fools."



Thursday, March 29, 2012

Stressed Blogger

I finally got evaluated and might just survive this school year. It's amazing how one little pop in has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and I predict easier times ahead.

Sometime since January, I've been expecting an administrator to pop into my room, sit down, and evaluate me on sixteen different components. It's been bad all semester but had gotten worse these last three weeks. Rumor had it that all evaluations would be completed by Spring Break. The week before, administrators were popping into teachers rooms multiple times a day, so I braced myself for the inevitable. It didn't happen. I knew I'd have my evaluation the week after Spring Break because very few of us were left. But alas, it got down to the final four with another week gone by. Then, two of us. I was screaming and pulling my hair out as I worked every day from seven-thirty until six o'clock at night. It wouldn't have been so bad had I been preparing for the week ahead, but noooooo. I was perfecting lessons for evaluators who didn't show. By this week, it got down to twelve hour +  work days as I'd work the above hours and then bring more home. I'd wake in the middle of the night thinking about the evaluation and too worried to go back to sleep. I developed multiple stress rashes.

Finally, I dropped a strong hint to the administrator because I couldn't live this way any longer. He took the bait. What a difference a day makes! Poor Jackie. I was second to last to be evaluated, as far as I know, she's still waiting. :(

I hope to get back to blog dropping soon and will be participating in the AtoZ Blogging Challenge in April. Blogging six days a week through the alphabet... here I come.