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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label #funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #funny. Show all posts

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Don't Mess With Psychologists

See that clock winding down at the side of my blog. Summer vacation is approaching quickly, and I can't wait. This has been quite a year. Not only have I taught, but I've also been up to my neck referring kids for psychological testing for the gifted program at my school. In Tennessee, bright kids are sheltered under the special education umbrella and it's been raining paperwork all year. I have one IEP meeting left and no one else to be tested at the moment.


Testing has changed quite a bit over the years. Back in 1925, when
Dogfish
my dad entered kindergarten, he had to take a test with a psychologist to see what class to put him in. Some lady held up heads and bodies of various animals and told him to match them. My dad thought the test was soooo stupid that he decided to have "fun" with the psychologist. He mixed the animal heads with various non-matching bodies, all the while chuckling to himself. The joke was on Dear Old Dad when he spent his first day of school in a class filled with rockers and droolers. The moral of the story: Don't mess with psychologists. 


Thursday, March 19, 2015

More Thoughts

Vacation has given me more time to think, dangerous I know, and here are my thoughts for this week. Have you ever watched a spider spin its web? And if so, just what part of its anatomy does the silk come from? With that in mind, comes Spiderman spinning webs from his fingers. I DON'T THINK
Sweet cheeks with or without the web.
SO! My daughter says it's because he got bitten on the arm, but I don't see the threads coming out of his spider bite, either. I guess they'd have to have a hotter Spiderman than Toby Maguire if the webs came from the correct spot. Plus, it might be hard to fight criminals if Spiderman had to pull his pants down every time he wanted to take a weave.


I agree. Andrew Garfield is better looking than Toby Maguire, but then again, Garfield is a cat. He just might squish his character with his cat-like charm. I think I've spoken enough on this topic.


Next topic.

I was flipping through the channels and noticed we have Showtime this week. Personally, I didn't see much on Showtime that I wanted to watch, but I was entertained by the titles of the listed movies. Check this out.



Hmm. What to watch? Since the only kind of breasts I like are the ones you eat from a chicken, I think I'll skip Breast Friends and Father Knows Breast. I like men, so an Erotic Ms Dracula isn't going to do anything for me, nor are Nude Monsters in Colorado. Aren't most monsters usually nude anyway? So it's between Sex Door Neighbors and Sexpresso. You'll be proud to know, I snapped the picture and moved on without watching any of these flicks with the great titles.

And these are my vacation thoughts. Tune in on Sunday night for more fun with music!

LOL! I love cracking myself up. I hope this was good for you, too.



Sunday, March 15, 2015

#MM Parody Songs

You can take just about any of your favorite songs and find a parody. For example . . .

Moves Like Jagger becomes Jabba


Take me to Church becomes Don't Take Me to Work




Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

A Penny For MY Thoughts

We've all heard the old saying, "A penny for your thoughts," but I figured I'd give you some of mine for absolutely nothing.


Beautiful Smelly Planet
Recently, I read that Saturn's moon Titan and Neptune contain methane as their main element. This got me thinking. Doesn't methane smell like farts? Good thing these stinky planets are far from Earth. Then again, with all that's being passed around here, maybe we could grow some beautiful rings around our planet, too.

I looked up methane and farts to see if I was right on my theory. Guess what I learned? There is actually a discipline called flatology or the study of farts. Could you imagine going 
Beautiful Smelly Person
to school to get that education? Imagine if one got a doctorate in flatulence. People study this in med school. I could just see a guy meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. "Excuse me? You do what for a living?"

I guess it could be worse. I knew a penis doctor who kept specimens in a jar to let his daughter's dates know to behave themselves.

Anyway, back to Neptune. It sure is a beautiful smelly planet. Kind of reminds me of Robert Pattinson--very good looking but known to have horrible body odor. Can you handle it? If not, don't move to Neptune or date The Twilight vampire.

These are my free thoughts. Aren't you glad you stuck around for them?

Sunday, March 8, 2015

#MM: Weddings


Have you seen Maroon 5's Sugar video? 
They crashed weddings to make this video gone viral.





One more from Tim Hawkins. Here are the most inappropriate songs to sing at weddings . . .  especially when the bride is walking down the aisle. Tee hee.





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!