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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label MG. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MG. Show all posts

Saturday, October 11, 2014

WeWrWa Presents, "Who Cut the Cheese?"

Weekend Writing Warriors


Check this fun hop out at: 
wewriwa.com


Read as my little friend gets caught in a blame game of Who Cut the Cheese? Bruce Coville said something to the effect that, "In order to be successful in writing for children, you need at least one of five words: fart, poop, burp, butt," and I can't remember the last one. Any suggestions?


During Social Studies, Slater let out a loud fart then laughed about it. His eyes widened, he slapped his hand over his mouth, and whispered, “Pardon moi.”
Randy waved his hand over his nose and pointed at me. You’d think he’d know I don’t fart, since we’d been in the same class since the third grade. I’d provided enough gas-free space that I could’ve charged admission to have kids sit by my desk for a respite from Randy’s stink.
“Was that your fart or Will’s?” Randy asked Slater, as if he’d never cut the cheese. Even Harrison was ready to blame me for what I’d never done. Well, at least in school. 


Friday, April 1, 2011

Agent Harold Baer is Looking for Writers!

As aspiring authors, it's exciting to learn about new agents who are actually looking for clients! I was blessed to interview Mr. Harold Lyon Baer about his unique practices that are sure to escalate him to the top of the publishing world.

Joyce: It's always interesting to know what people do before becoming agents. I mean, have you always been a part of the book world?

Harry: When I was young, I traveled a lot. In fact, I was part of an expedition in the Arctic Circle. During that time period, we did a lot of hunting and ice fishing.

Joyce: Really? That's fascinating. So tell me Harry, what sort of books are you interested in?

Harry: I love books about animals! I especially love the Berenstain Bears.

Joyce: Well, who doesn't? So you're interested in picture books?

Harry: Picture Books, Middle Grade, YA--anything will float with me. Listen, Joyce. I need to cut this interview short. My wife's calling. You know, the cubs are getting restless. But please have your readers call me if they'd like to give me a pitch about their books.

Joyce: Wait a minute? No query letter? Just a phone call?

Harry: Sure. I like to get to know potential clients. If they turn out to be like honey, we just might gel.

Joyce: You sure are a rare species, Harry!

Harry: That's what they keep telling me. Please tell your readers that I'm located at:

64th Street and Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10021

Come visit or call (212) 439-6500 and ask for Harry Baer. Also, if anyone is interested in knowing more about me, here's my website: http://tinyurl.com/4vveqsm

Thanks, Harry!

A is for Agent! Tune in tomorrow to read about letter B -- Hmm? Beer, Barbecues, Babies -- Are you curious enough to click?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Organizing Your Writing

I have a friend who has literally walked around for two years with an idea percolating in her head without writing a single word until the entire novel is structured and ready to go. Then there is moi. The ultimate pantser. I've tried some pre-planning for my novels but find it cumbersome, and I rarely stick to my plans anyway.

Currently, I'm enrolled in my second course at the Institute of Children's Literature with an instructor who pressures me to plan. This has been difficult at best. True, I've mapped out my work in progress (WIP), but I find myself veering away from those plans as my fingers tap the keyboard.

It's interesting to have readers sometimes comment on how they love my characters yet wonder if they are ADD. I hadn't planned them that way. :o



Recently I attended Mark Diamond's workshop on teaching writing to kids and found myself walking away with tips that are even helpful to someone like me. http://www.anyonecanwrite.com

I especially found his WOW line useful. Here's what you do:

(1) Draw a horizontal (hamburger) line across a sheet of paper.
(2) Divide said line into three equal parts. These parts represent the beginning, middle, and ending of your story.
(3) Place a star between the middle and ending of the story. This is your WOW moment. That's right! The one place where the most exciting thing happens.
(4) After jotting down your idea for the WOW moment, return to the beginning. What happened a little before the WOW moment?
(5) Next write an ending that sums up the WOW moment. You could even work out some sort of connection between the beginning and the ending because you now know what you are going to do.
(6) Finally, fill in the missing pieces of your story.

Voila!

Mr. Diamond has several books available on his site, and I was pleased to have had my school purchase all four of them for me. I especially like the one about Narrative Writing.

Being a certified pantser, I had to try this technique on a recent Monster Challenge. The competition called for a five-hundred word story about a human slaying a monster. I don't know if I'll win, but I've gotten a lot of positive reviews on my piece.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Funny Scenes in Every Day Life

After I ventured into the restroom at Cosco, I headed out with a great new idea for a comedy scene that I've since added to my work in progress (WIP). It all began when I stuck my hands into the automatic hand dryer, and I thought what would that goofy kid Slater do with this device? Next I knew, I was laughing out loud at my keyboard.

The $1,000,000 question: Do you think my scene is funny?

“Cool, Knob! Look at this.” He pointed to an automatic hand dryer with two silver slabs that faced each other. The top part had a section that curved outward to allow room for a guy to stick his hands inside. A bright yellow line did a crappy job at trying to make the machine pretty.

Slater lowered his hands into the drying machine and caused a deep swooshing sound to fill the bathroom. The motor yelled so loud, I could barely hear him speak.

“What if a guy’s hands don’t fit in this thing? I mean if he weigh six-hundred pounds or something, his fat hands ain’t fitting in here!”

“Not many people weigh six-hundred pounds.”

“But what if he some sumo wrestler or a super hero? Some guy with big old hands that wrestle alligators; he gots to dry his hands too!”

“Maybe there’s a way to push these panels out.” I patted the bottom of the machine for some sort of lever but didn’t find anything. That wasn’t good enough for Slater. He lifted his hands out, leaped onto the floor, and nosed up under the dryer. I couldn’t help but think of all the dirt on a bathroom floor.

“The floors filthy. Get up.”

Slater ignored me. “Here it is.” He flipped some kind of switch and the panels spread outward.

“I need it to dry my hands. Hope it still works.” I lowered my fingers into the dryer. Even though the panels were further apart, my hands got dry. I just had to move them around more. After I pulled them out, I rubbed the back of my dry hands.

“Hey, Knob. Watch this.” Slater lifted himself to his knees and put his head into the machine. The engine roared and noisy air shot out of the panels. The skin on Slater’s cheeks wiggled back and forth like a bulldog shaking loose jowls. As Slater giggled, he must have hit something because the panels moved inward and snapped. Slater tried to move his head out of the machine.

“It stuck, Knob. I is stuck!” As Slater opened his mouth, the dryer caught his spit and sent droplets catapulting across the bathroom floor. The inside of his cheeks ballooned out wide enough to use his face as a parachute and his eyes squinted to keep the air out. A smoky smell filtered from the machine. “Find a knob, Knob. Get me out of here!”

“Let me get help.”

“No-o-o! Some manager dude come in here and he yell!” Slater must have shouted so he could be heard over the roaring motor. “Look below! There a lever down there. Pop it!”

As much as I hated being on that dirty floor, I got on my knees and looked around for the lever. Finally I found it and freed Slater. When he stood up, his cheeks glowed red and his once centered Mohawk had shifted to the left side so that it shot out of his head like a one horned elk. Singed hair lined the tip of his Mohawk.

I hope someone will find this scene funny; but if not, I had a blast writing it!