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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label dryer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dryer. Show all posts

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Seven Wonders

Week #8—What are your 7 Wonders?

This week, the Writer's Post group has asked me to blog about "My Seven Wonders of the World." Long ago I wrote posts on the The Eighth Wonder of My World and Nudity and the Ninth Wonder of My World, since the seven wonders were already known. Please check these out if you get a chance.

Keeping with the assignment, here are my wonders from the serious to the silly.

Far from home. :(
1.) Where has time gone?
 My summer vacation is over, my youngest child leaves for college on Saturday, and I'll be fifty in December. Holy crap! Seems like yesterday I was riding my bike and getting in trouble for talking too much in school.


2.) Why do people allow themselves to be fooled by idiot politicians?
I remember a story from the Onion years back where they interviewed indigent people waiting in line to cast votes. The quote went something like this:

I ain't got no health care nor dental insurance, but it's gonna be alright because we have a God fearing man as president.


Our Lovable Rescue Rat
3.) How can some people not like dogs?
No one in the world gives me the unconditional love of my furry friends. Nor do people try to lick my face, Thank God.

4.) Why do people make fun of nerds?
As I've told my daughters, if you want a good life, marry a nerd. They are smart, kind, and will never let you down. I have a special love for the nerdy little kids in my gifted program, but believe it or not, true nerds are rare.

 In the spirit of Emma Lazarus, 
here is my adaptation of her poem:

"Give me your nerdy, your social inept,
Your huddled dorks yearning to excel,
The social refuse from cool kids.
Send these, the smart, tempest-tost gamers to me,
I lift my arms beside the classroom door!"

Although I posted the link below not long ago, it's a fave so here it goes again for those who missed it the first time.


iris
5.) What's with the irises in my yard?
Last year they didn't bloom at all, while the year before they were splendid. Maybe they're tied to my mood or God-forbid the economy . . . which means I might not see them for thirty years--which bites because I'll be dead by then.

6.) Why do my feet dry out?
I'm forever saturating my piggies with lotions and lubricants, but danggummit, them scales keep comin'.


7.) Why do some people (not to mention names - Mitchell Lansky) put toilet paper rolls in backwards? The paper should come from the top! Enough said.

If you like my post please push here to vote for my blog on the Picket Fence. Thanks!

Monday, April 4, 2011

That Closet Did It to My Clothes Again! #AtoZ

Back in the good old days, Mom would wash our clothes and hang them outside on a laundry line stretched between the house and a tree. Not only would our duds come back smelling fresh, but also they stayed the same size. Never did I have the experience like one has with dryers. You know it. You stick your shirt in the dryer and in the morning you have new Barbie clothes.

Which brings me to my latest problem--my closet.

We live in the south where when the temperatures break into three digits, the horses sweat, men perspire, and I glow. So living in such a hot and humid climate, why did our builder leave out an air conditioning vent in the closet? My closet has gotten so hot that every summer I go to pull out clothes, and dag-gummit, they've shrunk. It's a definite dryer effect. Why just the other day, those jeans wouldn't zip! And what's worse, the longer the clothes stay in the closet, the smaller they get.

 Now comes the problem of what to do with the shrunken clothes. At first I didn't have a clue, but after going to The Memphis Grizzlies game, I've figured it out. Those poor Grizzly Dancers wiggled on the basketball court in their underwear. Then they switched out of their underwear into some stretchy outfit that must have shrunk too because their butt cheeks were hanging out of the back. I think I'll send my little clothes to those poor naked dancers, then I'm going to call my builder and ask him to install a vent. This clothes shrinking business has got to stop.

See you tomorrow when I tackle the letter D. If you look around my blog, I bet you can figure out what this one's about.