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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label faint. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faint. Show all posts

Thursday, March 28, 2013

#GBE2: Very, Very Small

               

I want to be very, very small. Not like midget small, kid small, or can't reach the cookie jar small–although that might help me achieve my goal––but size two small; so small I wouldn't weigh enough to donate blood. That way,  I'd have no guilt about not giving as often as I should.

I was once small.
Furthermore, everything looks better on skinny people, except for heavy backpacks that knock feather weights to the ground. At a camp in Colorado, a counselor stuck a backpack on a small girl's back. Without an ounce of emotion, she fell over backwards. That girl was small.

Also, it would take a small girl to attract a Christian Grey. Scratch that. I DON'T want a Christian Grey; however,  mentioning his name on my blog brings lots of visitors, so CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY. Ha! You got here because you were looking for a hot, sexy guy, didn't you? Fine! Don't get ticked, he's down below. 

In answer to the old question, "Would you rather be beautiful or intelligent?" I might go for beauty, as in small and stupid. That way, I'd be too dumb to know what I'm missing. I'd flip my blonde hair into a bun and spend all day at the beach in my very, very small bikini. Which reminds me, Stephen King said, "The road to Hell is paved with adverbs."If that's the case, I'd settle for just being small, like a size six.

Ian Freaking Hot Somerhalder - You happy?


Enjoy this dance from a man who is very, very small.