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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label faintng. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faintng. Show all posts

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Harsh Beginning

The Blogging Lounge's most recent assignment is "Begins with," so here is a scene from the earliest moments in the life of a little girl.

The fetus swam in warm water while listening to the soft pattering
heartbeat. The smooth waves rocked the baby to sleep. In her quietness she moved her weight over the dangling cord which circled the child head to foot with its record breaking length. The baby's head spun as oxygen shut off from the umbilical cord. Within moments, the bath water disappeared into a black nothingness. The limp body restored air as the fetus revived consciousness, only to repeat the  pattern again. 

Unfortunately, oxygen loss was not the only problem for the fetus' developing head lodged against a hard hip bone. Yes, the baby would be born. She would face the world with a red heart shaped birthmark on her forehead and a red tint down her face. Furthermore, the constant loss of consciousness in the womb would lead to a propensity to faint easily.

Now, let's perk this post up a bit.

Joke: A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says "Aw, honey. You said you didn't want to have kids."

He responds "I know. Let's see them get in now."

Joke provided via http://goodriddlesnow.com