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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Silly Sunday: Back in Middle School

This week, I've had a schedule change. Instead of teaching full time at an elementary school, I'm now a traveling teacher with two days at the elementary school and three days in a middle school. It's been a wonderful change of pace, and I'm enjoying my time at the new school; however, walking down hormone filled halls reminds me of some funny situations from my past.

Years ago, an older teacher repeatedly called on a kid in the back of the room who held his hand up, but he refused to answer and would not put down his hand. Finally, after she became aggravated with the lone hand raiser, a child said, "Ms. R., that's the overhead projector."

It's a known fact that no matter how many balls are on the playground, the word is always used in the singular around middle schoolers. I'll never forget the day a sixth grade teacher told the boys to "hold their balls" because the bouncing was too loud. She should have asked them to hold their "ball" because every boy in the class immediately followed her directions in a most embarrassing way.

Then there's the story of the seventh grade teacher who stood at the doorway to her classroom, tapped each boy on the shoulder, and said, "Jacket off." It's no surprise that every tween boy put his coat on just so he could hear the teacher say, "Jacket off."

Gotta LOVE middle school!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

GBE2: History–Lincoln was Funny

This week's topic–history–is one of my faves; but at the same time, it was hard to narrow my post to one event. In searching historical events online, I remembered Abraham Lincoln who was not only a great leader, but also one of the funniest presidents we've ever elected.

Here are some fun anecdotes about him:

*Once as a young lawyer, several attorneys wrestled outside the court house before a trial. One of the men split his pants causing the others to pass a note asking for money to buy him a new pair of trousers. When the note reached Lincoln, he wrote, "I have nothing to contribute to the end in view."


*A ranking man in the post office, who was a personal friend of Lincoln's, died. A job applicant immediately asked the president if he could take his place?”
“Well,” replied Lincoln. “It’s all right with me if it’s all right with the undertaker.” 


*During the Civil War, Edmund Stanton, the Secretary of War, told Lincoln that General Grant was boozing in his tent.
“Find out what kind of whiskey he is drinking.”
“Why is that, Mr. President?”
“Because I want to send a case of it to my other generals.”


 And finally, here is my favorite story!


*A visitor once asked Lincoln how many men the rebels had in the field. Lincoln replied seriously, “Twelve hundred thousand, according to the best authority.” 

The visitor turned pale and gasped, “Good Heavens!”

Lincoln continued: “Yes, sir; twelve hundred thousand. You see, all of our generals, when they get whipped, say the enemy outnumbers them three to one, and I must believe them. We have four hundred thousand men in the field, and three times four makes twelve. Twelve hundred thousand; no doubt about it.”