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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laugh. Show all posts

Monday, April 28, 2014

#AtoZ : Y is for You

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have been regular visitors to my blog. You make it happen!
Without you, I'd be another frustrated comedian wanna be with no audience. Yet, you visit my blog and tell me I'm funny. That makes my day.

On another Y note, we visited an aunt who is 91 years young. She told me I am pretty. Her daughter told us, she's been speaking a lot of nonsense . . . although not in that order. Since, I'm beautiful, I took a couple selfies just for you. I think they may be suitable for framing beside your Farrah Fawcett poster.

A kiss for you!

Oh, and please, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Actually, at the risk of sounding tacky, I may be prettier than Farrah, Marilyn Monroe, and Audrey Hepburn, too. But we can't be sure until someone digs up their graves and checks out how they look. I just might have them beat these days.

Monday, April 14, 2014

#AtoZ : Matzah

It's time again to give up real food for flat crackers that give one digestive problems. We can purchase all kinds of derivatives for matzah, such as matzah fartful, too. Oh, yeah, don't forget the Gas-Ex with the Passover supplies. And remember, Moses's line, "Let my people go," takes on a whole new meaning.



It's going to be a great week!

Friday, April 11, 2014

#AtoZ : Killer Cookies

I had a craving for cookies. Our cupboards were bare, and I don't eat sweets, anyway. But, to get the satisfaction, I filled a soup mug with pancake mix, an egg, baking powder - spilled, too much vanilla (oops), Splenda, and I added a few decadent chocolate chips. I didn't measure anything, and the batter was too
salty, but with the made up concoction in the oven for eight minutes, we shall see.

I Yi Yi! These taste horrible! I kid you not, even the cookie monster wouldn't want them. Do you think it's the fact that I spilled the vanilla or put too much baking soda in them? Of course, burning these suckers didn't help, either. 

Next time, I'll follow a recipe because even my dog cookies taste better than these. Today, I tossed my cookies!





Wednesday, April 9, 2014

#AtoZ : I am Not Spoilt!


This morning, my middle child posted a Facebook Buzz Feed Article called,  Were You A Spoilt Child? Readers are asked to tick off everything they owned from Slip 'N Slides to a Darts Board. At the end of the test, the post will tell you whether or not you were spoiled.

The following conversation ensued: 


Thursday, March 20, 2014

Memories of the Clinton White House

A German friend of my daughters decided he wanted an internship in Australia. What he should have done is brushed up on his English before walking into the business establishment;  for he was met with strange looks when he repeatedly told everyone he was looking for intercourse.



Disclosure: My daughter recently sent me a text saying, "That's not exactly how the story goes." However, this is the original story that made me laugh, so I'm sticking to it!


Sunday, March 9, 2014

#MM: Rapper's Delight

This is good. LOL!
I've always loved this rap song, but it's 
even better when done by Brian Williams!






Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

WW: Look What Happened!

 

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Doubts

When thinking of what to write, I checked out Theme Thursday and saw the topic, "Doubts." Not knowing what to write, I stared at the word and came up with a definition for it. See if you switch the /U/ and /B/ in DOUBTS, you come up with the words DO BUTS. It's the perfect definition of the word. I'd do it, but . . .  See when you want to do something but the "but" gets in the way, it makes you doubt what you want to do. And if you continually doubt things, you have a lot of buts.

http://www.funbumperstickers.com/detail.aspx?ID=923

If you are laughing at the word "buts," you would fit with my fourth graders because they continually giggle whenever that conjunction pops up. Why is that?


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: Dogs in Snow

Since we hardly ever get snow in Memphis,
 I figured I'd improvise.




Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Blogging Lounge: Who Am I?

The new Blogging Lounge has asked us to answer the question "Who am I?". I don't want to bore followers, so here's a short tidbit.


In my youth, I looked like this: 



But now, I look like this:




Not really.

Let's try again. When super young, everyone told me I looked exactly like Shirley Temple. I had the curly bob and peppy spirit, too. I hated hearing that I resembled anyone but me; and she was actually cute, so imagine how I feel now.


As the years went on, a friend swore I was a dead ringer for Flashdance star Jennifer Beels. I liked that comparison. Of course my brother-in-law had to pop my bubble by telling me she's much prettier than me. Since he started dating my sister when I was only thirteen, he's always been more like an annoying, big brother. You should be lucky enough to have one.


Now, I constantly hear how I look like Bette Midler. No offense to this talented actress, but I don't think she's pretty, and would like to go back to looking like Jennifer, thank you very much; especially when a little girl jumps up and down in a restaurant while yelling and pointing, "You're the witch! You're the witch!"

I said, "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog, too!" Then cackled. 

That shut her up.
Of course, who I look like is pointless, because who I am has nothing to do with my looks. Plus, if you've followed my blog for any length of time and still don't know me, I guess you never will. I'm not one to stain the internet with stories about my abusive childhood, miserable marriage, or rat infested home. I can't do that because actually, it all was and is pretty good. That's why my life story would put you to sleep. So, instead of writing about my dull life, I invent book characters and abuse them. :)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Wordless Wednesday: How to Take Perfect Photos

To capture the perfect picture
 pretend to bite into an apple.


This perfect picture is no surprise since photography talent runs in the family.
Remember the I Am A Great Photographer post?



Thursday, December 26, 2013

#GBE2: Happy Endings

Beth from GBE2 gave us the weekly blog topic of "Happy Endings," so I was thinking about how I could write about a happy end. I've always heard about the happiest of end names around: Gladys, which means "Happy Butt?"

Then my daughter talked about someone having a "bubble butt" that popped. How could a bubble butt pop? Is that one of those silicon butt jobs that leaks with age? I don't know about bubble butts, but I have seen a "booty do." That's when someone's stomach sticks out more than their booty do.

Anyway, my kids said I can't write about "Happy Endings" because it's inappropriate, dirty, and gross. 

"What's wrong with the theme Happy Endings?" I asked. 

Since I couldn't get an answer, I looked it up in Urban Dictionary. They were right. 

BETH, HOW COULD YOU?

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Musical Monday Fun


Here’s one more for keeping with the holiday spirit.


And another one for fun.


Aw, heck. Why not a third?






Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.






PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!


Thursday, September 12, 2013

#GBE2: Slippery Slope

Would you say, "Yes" to a friend invite from a stranger who looks like this?


Let me rephrase the question, if you hadn't been married since before this kid was born . . . would you?


My daughter got the random invite, but she told handsome, "No" because after a reverse google search (however you do that), she found the photo to be a fake. When I google searched the name of the person seeking new friends, I found the photo below.

I have a feeling this is not the guy looking to hook up with young college girls, but I may be wrong. 

Yep. My daughter went down the slippery slope of engaging in conversation with a stranger on the internet. Of course, I've met all of you blog visitors personally, right? At least that's what I'd like to tell my kid. Anyway, she's definitely mine. Here is a transcript of her conversation with the stranger.

1:51am Erica: Hi Jack! I just wanted to say that whoever you are that you should not hide it. Embrace yourself and actually use a real account instead of creating a fake one. Hopefully you will learn to have better self esteem in the future. I wish you the best of luck in life! -Erica

2:02am Jack: how do you know that's actually not me

2:03am Erica: You just changed the picture. But I did a reverse image search because the profile picture looked unreal.

2:06am Jack: you shouldnt care that much

2:08am Erica: well you shouldn't friend people that you don't actually know.

2:08am Jack: well you should just ignore it

2:09am Erica: I did. notice that we are not actually friends.

2:09am Jack: but you are talking to me so that is not ignoring but okay

2:10am Erica: yea you do make a fantastic point but at the same time I am distracting myself from doing homework and trying to teach a stranger a valuable lesson so I feel that it is a win win for me.

2:11am Jack: thanks mom. you shouldnt put your nose in other peoples sh*t. and do your homework. its important

2:12am Erica: Well thanks for trying to teach me a valuable lesson as well! Now why don't you go back to creepily friending people that you don't know. It was a pleasure talking to you. And by friending me you made it my business btw! Good night!

2:12am Jack: nice chattin with ya

2:13am Erica: Nice chatting with you as well!

I think he chatted with her just to see her beautiful face over and over again. Below is my response to her after she shared the chat and hoped I wasn't mad at her for making a blog worthy post with a stranger:

  • Joyce:  Quit stalling with the homework.

    Notice the time stamp on the conversation. Yep, proof! It was definitely the older gentleman in the second picture. 

    BTW, is it weird to want to correct the spelling, grammar, and capitalization of her conversation before posting? I left it as is, however, I did edit the curse word. :)