End of School Craziness

Perhaps you've seen the owls circulating Facebook.

I am totally the owl on the right; so to celebrate all of us losing our minds, I've created a logic problem about us at the end of the year. It's called Tired Teachers, and it might give your third through fifth grade students a chuckle when they read about what exhausted teachers do in May.

You may purchase this little gem for just $1 

 https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Tired-Teachers-Logic-Problem-End-of-School-YearPre-vacation-Humor-1212723

Plus it comes complete with an answer key-a necessity because let's face it,

We're Tired!

If you like logic, please check out my store. I have 

plenty of problems to challenge bright kids.

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Gifted-And-Talented-Materials-By-Joyce-Lansky

End of School

Silly Sunday: Parenting Advice

As a parent who has successfully raised three wonderful kids to adulthood, I am now qualified to give my readers parenting advice––free of charge.

When I was a young mother, my father said, "Don't ever hit your kids, but don't ever let them think you won't." 

I tried to follow this advice, but I was never able to make my dad's threatening face. It was the one that said, "Shape up, now!" 

True to Dad's suggestion, we never spanked our kids; however, they knew we weren't going to also. As a result, we found successful discipline strategies that came in creative and silly doses. My favorite threat was the one concerning teeth. "If you don't ______________, we're not going to let you brush your teeth!"

Ooooh. This one scared our kids into doing what we wanted because what could be worse than not being allowed to brush your teeth? Furthermore, teeth brushing became a reward, rather than a fight to make them do it. Hint: Start this when the kids are young or it won't work. 

Tee hee.

Another silly punishment we used involved the love seat in our den. If our kids fought with each other, they had to sit on the love seat until they learned to love each other. They had two choices: get along or have the most miserable punishment ever. 

The most important parenting advice I can give is for you to teach your children to take care of themselves. Next time your child has a problem with a coach or teacher, don't be in a hurry to rush in and fix it for them. Make your child deal with the problem his or herself. They should be the one to approach the adult and address their concerns, not you. You step in only as a last resort when their attempts do not work. Knowing how to talk to an adult has been my kids' greatest life skill. Please parents, don't hover!

Don't forget to enter my Halloween Dog Costume Contest!  Contest Link

#GBE2: Peace

In the midst of those noisy screaming matches, I always told my kids, "Parents don't want fair, they want peace." Apparently, we weren't the only ones wanting a little quiet now and then. After a visit to the Chinese restaurant, I found someone else out to get some peace. 

 

Now let's give this some thought, why would a cookie need sleep? They don't have eyes to see kids tugging over the same toy, ears to hear the "She looked at me cry," or even a sense of touch to feel the wrestling kids bump into it.

Cookies are never up late at night worrying about the kid who missed curfew or even bothered by dogs barking at the squirrels outside. Even a pesky fly wouldn't bother a fortune cookie. I'd say they're dead, but doesn't one need to live in order to die?

Throughout this stressful life, I have come to the conclusion that I will never truly be at peace until someone throws dirt over my dead body. If a dirt nap is the only way to truly be at peace, I guess I'll pass.

Watch the Pink Panther in his quest for peace.

Mom Taught Me How to Laugh

Honeymoon, 1949

On March 27, 2002, I accompanied my son to Italy for a soccer tournament. In the middle of the night, an odd alarm that we hadn't set woke us up with a single beep. I call it a good bye because early the next morning, our phone rang to tell us that my mother had unexpectedly died late that past night. Although she'd been sick, she was getting better, and no one expected a heart attack to steal my beautiful and witty mother away from this world after only 75 years of life. So, in memory of my mother, I dedicate today's post to her because her sense of humor helped to make me who I am today.

During my grade school years, my mother would often become frazzled by her "friend" Five by Five, as Mom called her. Mrs. Five by Five, five feet tall and five feet wide, had a homely daughter who she swore looked just like me. My mother's mama claws would flare as she'd spit out how I was so much prettier than the daughter of five by five.

Mama Claws

I must not have been too terribly ugly because a few years after that a carload of boys stopped next to us and cat called from my passenger side window. At least I think they were hooting at me, but maybe not. For my mother hoisted her left hand into the air and yelled, "I'm married!"

"Darn it!" The boys promptly said.

  

Florence Paull

 Mom didn't lose her humor with age, nor did she lose her ability to spit out anyone's birthday after hearing it once. In her wheelchair, she sat in the middle of the dance floor at my daughter's Bat Mitzvah party. Goofy neon necklaces covered her head and neck but she didn't bother to remove them like most elderly people would have done. Yeah, that was Mom. She was also the lady who taught my kids how to shoot straws out of paper so they could misbehave in restaurants.

I miss you, Mom, even though I sometimes sense you telling me to be careful not to trip over broken sidewalks or other messages straight from you. Are you still here or was that one bleep of the alarm your final salute? None the less, today is the anniversary of your death, so here's to you. Did you know my mom? If so, what do you remember about her?

RIP: Apple Blossom

I once was the proud owner of a Liddle Kiddle doll named Apple Blossom. Her flower-covered green hair flowed over her two inch body as she populated the stores sometime around 1967--which means I must have been negative fifteen years old when I got my treasure. Not only was Apple the most beautiful doll I ever owned, but also, when locked inside her container, she carried a fresh perfume scent that stuck around well into my adulthood.

So at age -15, I made a decision. Apple Blossom was too special to be just any doll. I kept her perched in her bottle on top of my dresser. Sure, I played with her. She was the captured princess who couldn't escape her cage. Every so often, I'd open her, take a whiff, stroke her soft hair, and wrap her back in plastic. But I was sure to keep her in mint condition because I knew one day I'd have a daughter and I'd give her this special doll.

The years flew by and sure enough I became a mom. My daughter bubbled when I gave her that amazing doll. Then on that very same day, she lost it.