Catch My Products

Catch My Products
Click on the image to visit Catch My Products.

My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life" Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor- Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor -Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Weekend Warrior Writer's - Middle Grade

Weekend Writing Warriors


Check this fun hop out at: 

After attending an SCBWI conference, it looks like middle grade is what's selling, so I'm going to switch focus to another unpublished manuscript, MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS. It's the story of a fifth grade outcast taken under the mismatched wings of a new boy in town. Is that cruel not to answer the door from last week? Sorry.

Here are my first eight lines. Please tell me if you'd keep reading––actually that may not be the right question since many of you write dirty romance novels and wouldn't turn the page of any kid's book, but humor me. I'm looking for an honest critique that will help me bring my work up to the publication level. Thanks!


CHAPTER ONE
 
            Randy slammed into my shoulder with a “Move it, Will,” on his way to Harrison Zimmerman’s desk. Telling me to move was better than putting an /L/ in on my forehead and getting the class to chant loser until Ms. Benson's face turned red. The kid bounced on his toes while kissing up to Harrison, who had the power to share glazed, creamy, chocolaty, or powdery treats. 
“Keaton told me your mom’s making a new kind of donut.”
            Harrison’s tongue swept across his upper lip like a fat frog grabbing his fly––not the zipper. “It's called The S’More––Chocolate, marshmallows, and gram crackers.” His beaming meant­ his stupid end-of-the-week party with the The S’More as the guest of honor. On Monday guys will boast about Mrs. Zimmerman's homemade donuts dipped in chocolate sauce or gooey cherry filling.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Our New Nephew

They met in 7th grade, stayed best friends for five years, and dated seven years until Sunday night.


All of our kids joined the wedding party.


We danced the night away.


Beautiful Bridesmaids


I loved dancing around A & D when the men lifted their chairs.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

#GBE2: Midnight

Cinderella - You Wimp!
This week's blogging group challenge is "Midnight." What is it about this special time being the bewitching hour and all kinds of creepy stuff happening when the clock strikes twelve? For example, take Cinderella.

Her Fairy Godmother said, "Be home by midnight or your carriage will turn into a pumpkin and you'll be back to wearing rags." Talk about tough love! Really, lady? First off, why a pumpkin? That frail chick couldn't even carry her round ride home without pulling out her wimpy spine. If she tried to roll it, the thing would probably hit a rock and get her arrested for smashing gourds in the street. At least turn it into a cell phone so she could call for a ride. But oh wait, she's a prisoner of her evil step mother and has no one to call. Such a pathetic role model for our young girls.

Elizabeth - My heroine!
Cinderella wears rags, but I'm not one to judge folks by their clothing. Look at Elizabeth the Paper Bag Princess. The dragon came to town, burned her duds, and kidnapped her stuck-up Prince Ronald (no relation to the clown), so she took off to save him with only a paper bag to grant her modesty.

Now, think about this. Would you go to a fire breathing dragon with just a paper bag on? Let's hope he's not a horny devil. Anyway, this tough chick outsmarted the dragon and rescued the prince who wanted her to comb her hair and shower. She didn't need a Fairy Godmother to tell her to dump the creep. She told him to take a hike all by her little self.

 But I digress : Midnight



I remember this great song by Eric Clapton, "After Midnight." He had that one right. In those days the party didn't even get started until after midnight. Now if only I could stay up that late. . . but that's another post. Thanks, Beth! This one was fun.

If you like my blog, please vote for me on the Picket Fence because I'm kinda in a rut right now. My fence post spot is 69 and if you look to the left, you'll see the title of my most popular post. Not good for a respectable blog like this one! Thanks. :)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Our Wedding Hop

It's been a lot of months since my husband's friend entered into a second marriage, a year since our son's friend tied the knot, and another year before that, we had attended my nephew's wedding. Being the social outcasts that we are, people aren't banging down our doors to spend time with us. However, something odd happened on Memorial Day Week-end: two of our good friends' daughters got married on the same night, starting at the exact same time, and we successfully attended both weddings!

Knowing that one ceremony would be conducted in the most judicial of manners without much foofaraw, we attended that one first. The bridal party stepped about ten feet into a beautiful, plant filled room, and said your basic English vows--without the word obey. Somehow that important word for grooms has slipped out of the current vernacular. The groom said, "Ouch!" when his beloved slipped the ring on his finger, and she didn't even slap him. My husband thinks she hurt him with the ring, but I took it as him making fun of his new state of holy matrimony. According to Papa-In-Law it was a little of both. He'd burned his knuckle the other day but also has a great sense of humor.

After the vows were complete, we hopped in the convertible and drove a few blocks to the Botanical Garden where the 5:30 wedding had not even begun. We arrived in time to sample a few amazing appetizers, then watched men in black hats dance the groom to the bride so that he could lift her veil and make sure he was marrying the right sister. However, with the bride being a triplet, I have never been able to tell her from her sister anyway. Hopefully, he married the right gal.

The beautiful wedding included a long walk, maybe half a football field, through an outdoor area and Jewish customs such as the bride circling the groom seven times, chanting Hebrew verses, and a smash of a glass. The marriage was conducted by the groom's Orthodox Rabbi father who lives in Israel; however, the groom does not practice Judaism to the degree of his family.

After the vows were exchanged, we hopped back in the car and headed to the first wedding. We enjoyed visiting with a fun crowd and eating fried sweet potatoes; however, I didn't have any of the bacon-wrapped shrimp that I couldn't have gotten at the other wedding. The music was upbeat with Cee Lo, Sweet Home Alabama, and YMCA.  In fact, one dude walked around with an afro wig while the DJ had the folks on the dance floor wearing Village People Hats. The party was a lot of fun, but the other wedding would be serving dinner at 9:30, so we hopped back into the car and off we went.

We arrived to a New York band playing cultural music while people danced on two sides of a wall: men on one side and women on the other. The waiters served a wonderful trout dinner, and then the wall came down. The religious folks left the room while men and women danced together to rock hits. This was the compromise the groom had agreed upon with his family. Amazing!

Needless to say, we had a lot of fun and only missed two notable events: seeing our friend's weird solo dance and the second couple hoisted in the chairs to the tune of the Hora.

If you like my post, please click the white picket fence or the snippet.



Tuesday, April 26, 2011

V is for Vic #AtoZ

Vic, my husband's goofy friend, is always good for a laugh (but usually they're of the dirty variety). His  poor wife has been trying to lose 170 pounds for years, but he still hangs around. He'd drive me to drink, but this woman is a saint through all his "take my wife, please take my wife jokes." If she didn't laugh along, she'd probably slug him.

On New Year's Eve, Vic reported that 30% of New Year's Eve accidents involve alcohol. If that's the case, 70% do not involve liquor, so we have a better chance of getting home safely if we drink. Most recently he told my husband that our daughter didn't need to bring her checkbook with her to Prague. After all, there are plenty of Cheks there. Pretty funny, Vic.

The most outrageous Vic-ism happened on his fiftieth birthday party. He had it at McDonalds! Each of us received a Happy Meal complete with a toy of the boy or girl variety. He had balloons, streamers, and even a clown performing magic tricks. Although it's been a few years since his party, I still remember the double takes from those passing by. I could actually read their minds. They'd pass by, spot the balloon, think it was a five at first, then double take when they realized it said, "Fifty." Only Vic!