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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts

Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Blogging Lounge Photo Prompt: Rock Star


From the first time I strummed my Lil Tykes guitar, I knew I wanted to be a rock star, and it didn't end there. Come elementary school, the neighborhood kids and me formed our band in the front yard. We banged pots, pans, and anything else to make our music. From there, we played high school gigs and  dressed our way to fame.

Kids love our hair dye job. Each one of us has a unique color and style that makes an awesome rainbow when we get together. Ty's balloon shaped hair glows as red as Ronald the clown, while Keifer goes for neon blue feathers. Suse shines yellow sunbeams, while I grow the green leafy look. It came in handy today.

The old saying, "Watch what you wish for" is true. I wanted to be a star. Each night, I dreamed of being swooned over by an audience. But, no one told me how nuts our fan base would be. 

See, after we left stage this morning, a group of loose screws chased our limo. The driver swerved, we hit a wall, and the fans tore our doors off. 

All I could do was run. I headed to a nearby farm and ducked into this old wheelbarrow. As I hide in here, everyone will think my hair is a plant. I just hope those druggies don't pull out my locks and try to smoke me. 

Hey, Hey, I don't want to be a pop star!





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Friday, June 7, 2013

Treading the Off Beaten Path: The Waiter

;http://www.penpaperpad.com

I once saw someone tread 
          off the beaten path.             

While Rhonda and I sat in a Boston restaurant waiting for our server, I noticed a spot on my fork. I told the cute, young waiter about my spot, and he fell into a hysterical routine.

"Spot on fork! Spot on fork! We must have happy customers." This goofball grabbed my fork, spoon, and knife as well as Rhonda's set. Next, he cleared the salt, pepper, and any other condiments off the table, and the table cloth.

"We must have happy customers," he chanted while charging across the room. Within moments, the waiter returned, spread a fresh table cloth over the wood, returned condiments, and reset our entire table.

"Spot on fork! Spot on fork! We must have happy customers." 

I don't know if I ever laughed so hard or gave such a generous tip. Rhonda has recorded travel adventures across the world at Laugh Quotes, but I don't think she's ever found another waiter like this one.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

#GBE2: No Comfort in My Fictional World

Although impoverished, fifteen-year-old Ben enjoys his loving mother, good friends, and the comfort of his rundown home; however, his world topples when a balding weirdo storms into his apartment, shoots his mom, and kidnaps him. He rides five hours up a rain-slicked highway to a lush mansion with sculptured bushes, the scent of blossoms from the yard, and historic paintings each overhung by a fancy light.

Although his new home says, "Enjoy comfort," Ben carries anger toward a mob father who is as cold as his apartment the day the heater broke. When Ben's temper flares, he strikes the villain and then finds himself pinned to wooden paneling while being whipped. 

From then on, Ben obeys with a passive aggression until he is tricked into performing a horrendous deed. He escapes into adventures that only a few of my friends know about because no agent has been willing to read my manuscript. Comfort is a foreign concept for my book characters.


Monday, October 15, 2012

My Distant Husband Presents A Boy

 Sorry, readers. I like this story so I decided to query it. Hopefully you can read it in a magazine.

Although I'm not blogging every day in October, I've chosen to follow a picture prompt presented by Danneromero over at My Distant Husband. She presented  the picture below and said, "Write about it." Since I write for children, this one seemed to fit me just fine. Here's my take on "A Boy."




Saturday, December 31, 2011

Silly Sunday: Basketball Poles

Pau Gasol - LA Lakers
Rhonda's Silly Sunday pops up quickly (especially when I post by 4:00 on Saturday) and if you're like me, you need something to laugh at on Sunday because Monday comes next. This week will be particularly painful because it ends my vacation.

Watching the Memphis Grizzlies blast the Houston Rockets on Friday night reminded me of a story from years ago.

My husband stood in line at McDonalds in front of NBA basketball player Pau Gasol. At seven feet tall and 250 pounds, one would think he'd be hard to miss; however, a woman cut in front of him in line.

Pau was too polite to say anything so my husband nudged the lady and said, "You just cut in line."

She looked at him and said, "I thought that was a pole."

 For more laughs, check out Silly Sunday links at Laugh Quotes.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Toilet Bowl Operation

No this story is not about Delta Airlines, even though they too are a "toilet bowl operation." I'm participating in Shelly's Crazy Alternative Reality over at The Life of a Novice Writer. She's presented four pictures and asked us to write a one hundred word story about one or all of them. I originally thought the assignment was 300 words and have been whittling my writing down but fail. I'm at 140 and have removed most of the detail to give you a bare bones story. I'm going to leave it as is, sorry Shelly.





The truck’s three wheels skirted around a cactus while sheep carrying the corner with the missing wheel kept it from scraping sand. Aries is rising covered the back window.

The truck halted. Bolts and cogs shot into the sand.

A cowboy carrying a rotary phone stepped out of his truck. “Don’t pull my truck apart!”

The sheep’s eyebrows narrowed as they glared at the cowboy.

“The brochure says, “Sheep is mild.” You buckin’ requests?”
The sheep raced away, so the cowboy dialed the phone.

“What kinda toilet bowl operation you runnin’? My sheep took off.” The cowboy nodded. “Fine. Send me twins.”

He tossed the phone into his truck.

Two identical women wearing bikinis approached the cowboy.

“You gonna run my truck, Sweet-cheeks?”

“We’re gonna drive while you run.” The girl’s smacked a sticker over the other one: Gemini Rules. 

Friday, April 22, 2011

Snowdruff #AtoZ #atozchallenge

"Making Snow" By, Erica Lansky
I don't like to poke fun at my students, but one former pupil's antics are just too good not to write about. The young man came charging to the teachers with an excitement in his voice that can only be heard in children. "I can make it snow!" he said.

And snow it did. The boy leaned over the pavement and scratched his head causing multiple flakes to fall onto the ground. After he produced a heavy snow storm, a crowd of children gathered around him to see if they too could make it "snow." But alas, no one else's hair was quite that snowy.

For your video enjoyment, here's a clip from the Breakfast Club. Watch Ally Sheedy make it snow!




Tune in tomorrow for the letter T = "Taunting Siblings."