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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label underwear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label underwear. Show all posts

Monday, March 4, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: School Pictures

I've torn my house apart trying to find that one preschool picture that best fits my humor blog, but it is lost. Judy was proud of her new pair of underwear; so, when the camera flashed, she flashed too. I guess posting that photo would not go with my blog's clean image anyway.


Here are a few goofy school pictures of my kids and me.

Erica is never fully dressed without a hat to show coolness.


They retook Judy's picture but gave us the original



I trimmed Daniel's mullet and put this photo in the paper.



My school picture from kindergarten.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Music, Rhythm, and Rap

When young, if it wasn't rock 'n roll, it wasn't worth listening to. Although I still prefer rock, especially classic rock, I've found a few gems in other areas.

Take rap. I hate it. Rap is not music but rather some hoods yelling into a mike. Then again, I love this little jewel called, "Rapper's Delight" by Sugar Hill Gang. The full song plays fifteen minutes; however, I've included the condensed version. After six minutes of listening to this catchy beat that is ranked #248 on Rolling Stones Magazine's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list, I dare you not to at least chair dance.

I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you don't stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.


I don't have a clue what the dude means, but it's fun to listen to.  Is one supposed to bounce on a hip? Not recommended for seniors. The rapper mentions hippies but weren't they more into peace, love people now, and come together? Either way, I'll jump up and boogie. Although the above part makes no sense, other verses are crystal clear.

Have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just aint no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood;
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin' that you're full,
and then your friend says, "Momma, he's just being polite
he ain't finished uh uh that's bull."
So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate,
and your friend says man there's plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate. 


source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/

Here's some "music" that's got plenty of "rhythm." Take a listen and if you're old like me, it will bring back memories. 
If not, maybe you'll enjoy something new.



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Saturday, November 3, 2012

Silly Sunday: Wacky Packages

Koduck
Fright Guard
When I was a kid, we dashed to the candy store, paid our nickels, and got packs of Wacky Packages. I had a thick stack of stickers after collecting for awhile, but somehow they've disappeared over the years. I wish I still had them because these vintage cards are going for several dollars a piece on Ebay. Some for a several lot of dollars.

Beanball
Drowny
It's funny to reflect on the goofy topics that appeal to kids. At my ten year high school reunion, my grade school classmates and I reminisced about how easy it was to make our sixth grade selves laugh. All we had to do was whisper, "Underwear," and everyone within hearing distance would laugh so hard they'd have to cross legs to keep from peeing.


Why don't these things make us laugh anymore? Adults take life too seriously. 
Does anyone else remember these?










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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Theme Thursday: Inspiring Things

This week's Theme Thursday has given me a blog topic and an array of questions that need my wisdom. Let's give it a try, shall we?

Do you see inspiring things each day?

I'm not sure if I've seen anything inspiring today. Maybe outspiring, or whatever the opposite of that would be. I'd planned to fly to Dayton; however, just like Beth the alien traveler, we humans must also pick up headaches in Atlanta before going anywhere. The plane I was supposed to get on was running late and I was informed that I would miss my connections. So I had a choice... hmm... spend the night in a dumpy Atlanta hotel or reschedule for tomorrow. 

Am I supposed to feel inspired by that? Maybe so. I've created the best book characters from the lousiest people I've known and the worst situations too. If you ever treated me poorly, be afraid, be very afraid. And buy my book, after I talk someone into publishing it,  just to make sure you're not in it.


Do you wake up and hop out of bed then hurry to get ready to start your day?

Are you kidding me? This is summer. Why in the world would I hop out of something as delightful as my bed? If anything, I've recently stopped hopping because it sets my head spinning. Instead, I sit at the edge and wait for my blood pressure to rise enough to not get a carpet burn at the tip of my nose from keeling over. I'll leave the hopping to Kangaroo Jack. This movie was pretty bad in the stupid kind of way. I'd say it ties with Solaris. 


Even the actress fell asleep!
Have you seen Solaris? It had one funny scene. Someone asked George Clooney how a lady got on the space ship. He said, "I don't know. I just woke up and she was there."

My sister leaned into me and said, "I just woke up and she was there too." Yes, strangers, that is why we laughed hysterically in the middle of that boring movie.



What inspires you?


You do. Every time I get a comment where someone tells me I made them laugh, I am inspired to do it again. In fact, I am so inspired that I need to talk an agent into representing my book because I guarantee it will make kids laugh. After all, I've used a few of Bruce Coville's magic words in my book. "Fart." "Underwear." "Butt." Yes, folks, slap these words into kidlit and you've got an instant chuckle. If these words made you laugh too, don't admit it! 


Saturday, April 21, 2012

#AtoZ : Shots

Last week, a fifth grader headed into class late. I asked him where he'd been, to which he said, "I got eleven-year-old shots."

I said, "Why'd you get such old shots?"

He said, "Huh?"

"Why'd they give you eleven-year-old shots? Why didn't they give you fresh medicine? Don't the drugs expire after eleven years?"

He caught on and had a good laugh, so I asked him if he cried when he got his old shots? He laughed again. Boys don't cry over shots, do they? I wish I could have been as brave when I was a child.

As a youngster–four, five, or maybe sixteen–I don't remember, the doctor told me I was going to get a shot. Naturally, I did what any chicken would do, I took off running out the door in my underwear. I had a string of nurses and various other folks chasing me through the halls. Finally, they caught me. Yes, kiddies, there's no escaping the shot once the doctor orders it.

Also, as a child, I once told the doctor he was nasty. What did he expect? The man asked me to take off my clothes. But that has nothing to do with those shots that were never worth the sucker.

When it comes to shots, there's only one kind I like.
White Russian: shot vodka, shot kahlua, and milk

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Silly Sunday: How I Used My Underwear to Get Healthy

It's not Sunday or even that close but I figure some of you might be busy if I waited to post at my usual time, so here goes early. Besides, it's Sunday in New Zealand where Rhonda starts her Silly Sunday at Laugh Quotes.



 Back in October I injured my knee while running and had to go to physical therapy. One of the many exercises my therapist assigned was the "penguin walk." This involves putting a band around the ankles and taking side steps. Unfortunately, he forgot to give me the band.




So I improvised. I have a pair of elastic underwear that have quite a bit of stretch in them. These came in handy when doing the penguin walk.


If that isn't silly on a Sunday, nothing is.

If you need more silliness than using underwear to exercise, hop over to Rhonda's Silly Sunday.