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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label vacuum cleaner. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacuum cleaner. Show all posts

Monday, April 7, 2014

#AtoZ : G is for Gadget Breakage Problem

My son claims I got mad and ripped the handle off the microwave. If that's the
case, I guess I tore the knob off the refrigerator, too. I also yanked the cord on the vacuum cleaner and broke it. Now, I have an excuse for not vacuuming. Furthermore, late one night, I climbed up on our roof, jumped up and down, and put holes in it. Not to mention the leaking faucet. I shouldn't have forced my fist down the pipe.

I've got to learn to control my gadget breakage problem. On the upside, or down depending on how one looks at it, we replaced the vacuum cleaner, today. Time to pick up dog hairs.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Silly Sunday: The News

I see dead people.
It's Silly Sunday, which means I can post an old joke or for something more stupid, open a newspaper. I choose the latter.

Did you catch the story about Jerry Miller, the retired drill sergeant who the government killed four times? A veteran in Florida was denied pension because, get this, he died! Furthermore, he was asked to repay some $94,000 worth of benefits that he should not have received because he's dead. Miller asked his congressman to help him, but so far, being alive has not been sufficient proof that he is not dead. That makes sense. Look at zombies. They're dead and it doesn't keep them from hobbling around. Some of them even dance.




This story reminded me of my friend Al at the University of Missouri. The school mixed up his student number with that of a dead guy. To make matters worse, they mailed a sorry-about-the-death-of-your-son letter to his mom and cut off his student ID which allowed him his meals. Al marched into the administrative office, flung his arm forward and said, "I'm alive! Feel my pulse." Unlike today's morons, the college believed him.

None the less, calling someone dead who isn't could be worse. Get this:

Doctors and nurses at Pelonomi Hospital in Cape Town, South Africa were baffled when two patients died on consecutive Friday mornings in the same bed.

Checks revealed no bacterial infection, virus or problems with the air conditioning, temperature, cleanliness, nor circulation of air in buildings and rooms; but, interviews with staff revealed the shocking truth.

Each Friday a cleaning lady would go onto the ward and plug her floor polisher into a socket by the bed.

When finished, she would unplug the cleaning machine and replace the plug that was originally in the socket - the life support equipment.

It's okay to laugh. 

Snopes says that the last news story is FALSE.