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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life" Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor- Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor -Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor - Humor
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Sunday, November 23, 2014

#MM: The People of Walmart

I'm sexy and I know it!

Feeling like posting something tacky tonight. I just need to be careful what I wear the next time I step foot into Walmart. I don't want to be in a video like this, again. Bwahahaha. Can you pick me out? 







Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Letter to Santa


                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                         November 20, 2014

Dear Santa,

            I know it’s usually kids who write to you, so I hope you don’t mind getting a letter from me. I just have a few things to talk to you about. First off, I have a question about your reindeers. Are reindeers natural flyers or do you do something magical to make them fly? If it’s a magic something, could you do it to other animals, like dogs? I think it would be pretty cool if you could make my dogs fly because when I let them out to pee, they end up digging in the dirt and tracking mud into the house.  If I could fly my dogs outside, they could pee from the air? I wonder if they’d still squat. But, I digress.
            Santa, I’m missing my fifth graders from last year. They were so much fun, and they knew how to sit still. The kids I have this year are WILD, especially the younger kids. Although it's not their fault, second grade has been a challenge because I have fourteen kids in a room that’s not much larger than those chimneys you slide down. Okay, I exaggerate, unless we’re talking about the fireplaces in Beverly Hills. Anyway, these sweet kids constantly wiggle in such a way that you’d think the room was filled with mice from the squeaking chairs. Someone is always humming, muttering, or tilting.
            One week, two kids who were “sitting” in their chairs bumped heads. Today, when gathered on the carpet, a kid started crying and his nose was bleeding. In trying to figure out what had happened, we discovered that he accidentally kneed himself in the nose. To make matters worse, a little coal gatherer secretly made fun of him by pretending to whack himself in the nose with his knee. As the teacher, I firmly told him to stop. But I confess, I then did everything I could to keep from bursting out laughing. Success!

            So Santa, for Christmas, I was wondering if you could help me to calm the kids down by supplying Ritalin licks on the playground. Not that I want to drug my kids, but maybe they could just get a shot of something to settle down. Okay. I guess that might be a bad idea, so instead maybe you could get something to help me to calm down?
            Have a very Merry Christmas and hug all your elves for me.

                                                                                                              Love,
                                                                                                              Joyce

P.S. Don't forget to enter my contest to win a free watch. I know you need to keep track of time. The link is at the top of the blog.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Musical Monday: Crazy All My Life

Here's a song tailor made for my music hopping bloggy friends.





Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.




PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, October 11, 2014

WeWrWa Presents, "Who Cut the Cheese?"

Weekend Writing Warriors


Check this fun hop out at: 
wewriwa.com


Read as my little friend gets caught in a blame game of Who Cut the Cheese? Bruce Coville said something to the effect that, "In order to be successful in writing for children, you need at least one of five words: fart, poop, burp, butt," and I can't remember the last one. Any suggestions?


During Social Studies, Slater let out a loud fart then laughed about it. His eyes widened, he slapped his hand over his mouth, and whispered, “Pardon moi.”
Randy waved his hand over his nose and pointed at me. You’d think he’d know I don’t fart, since we’d been in the same class since the third grade. I’d provided enough gas-free space that I could’ve charged admission to have kids sit by my desk for a respite from Randy’s stink.
“Was that your fart or Will’s?” Randy asked Slater, as if he’d never cut the cheese. Even Harrison was ready to blame me for what I’d never done. Well, at least in school.