A Letter to Santa

                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                         November 20, 2014

Dear Santa,

            I know it’s usually kids who write to you, so I hope you don’t mind getting a letter from me. I just have a few things to talk to you about. First off, I have a question about your reindeers. Are reindeers natural flyers or do you do something magical to make them fly? If it’s a magic something, could you do it to other animals, like dogs? I think it would be pretty cool if you could make my dogs fly because when I let them out to pee, they end up digging in the dirt and tracking mud into the house.  If I could fly my dogs outside, they could pee from the air? I wonder if they’d still squat. But, I digress.

            Santa, I’m missing my fifth graders from last year. They were so much fun, and they knew how to sit still. The kids I have this year are WILD, especially the younger kids. Although it's not their fault, second grade has been a challenge because I have fourteen kids in a room that’s not much larger than those chimneys you slide down. Okay, I exaggerate, unless we’re talking about the fireplaces in Beverly Hills. Anyway, these sweet kids constantly wiggle in such a way that you’d think the room was filled with mice from the squeaking chairs. Someone is always humming, muttering, or tilting.

            One week, two kids who were “sitting” in their chairs bumped heads. Today, when gathered on the carpet, a kid started crying and his nose was bleeding. In trying to figure out what had happened, we discovered that he accidentally kneed himself in the nose. To make matters worse, a little coal gatherer secretly made fun of him by pretending to whack himself in the nose with his knee. As the teacher, I firmly told him to stop. But I confess, I then did everything I could to keep from bursting out laughing. Success!

            So Santa, for Christmas, I was wondering if you could help me to calm the kids down by supplying Ritalin licks on the playground. Not that I want to drug my kids, but maybe they could just get a shot of something to settle down. Okay. I guess that might be a bad idea, so instead maybe you could get something to help me to calm down?

            Have a very Merry Christmas and hug all your elves for me.

                                                                                                              Love,

                                                                                                              Joyce

P.S. Don't forget to enter my contest to win a free watch. I know you need to keep track of time. The link is at the top of the blog.