My humorous thoughts about life.

Help! I can't get these words out of my head. humor, humor, humor, humor, humor,humor,humor,humor,humor,humor,humor

Saturday, April 19, 2014

#AtoZ : The Queen

Her hard, smooth body slides to capture whoever gets in her way. One space, or clear across the board, gives her power unlike the others. She cleverly works with her lower ranks to plan her attack. To lose her makes a win difficult at best for she is the queen.

"When you see a good move, look for a better one."
-Emanuel Lasker

“Strategy requires thought, tactics require observation”
-Max Euwe

A bad plan is better than none at all
-Frank Marshall

"Choose your move carefully in Chess as in life."

Thursday, April 17, 2014

#AtoZ : Passover (Plague of Blood and Monthly Bloating)

Once I was a slave in Egypt. (If I didn't admit to having been a slave, I'd be the wicked son in the story we tell every year about Pharoah enslaving us.) Moses asked Pharoah to let us go, but he said, "Nada!" 

So God smote the Egyptians with a bunch of nasty plagues. For example Pharoah once in his bed, awoken with frogs on his head; frogs on his pillow, frogs on his toes, frogs on his shoulders, and frogs on his nose. At least that's what the song says. 

He also heard locust––annoying insects hopping around, boils––worse than bad acne, and blood––not the kind that comes each month, but that would have been a better punishment for a guy. I'd have given him cramps, bloating, and moodiness, too. There's many more plagues, but let's keep this short.

Jews aren't supposed to celebrate anyone's hardships, so we spill a drop of wine for each plague, and suffer from less wine. But all is cool. We get four cups at the seder. 

Returning to the story, the Jews left Egypt while baking bread. As a result, it didn't have time to rise and we have to eat tasteless, flat stuff that gives us gas. That's the Joyce's Digest version of Passover.

Your welcome.