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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Six Sentence Stories A Bit Off From the Rodeo

My Beautiful Daughter

After my last week's gruesome six for Girlie on the Edge's Blog's Six Sentence Stories, I'm here to redeem myself with a short comedy sketch mirrored after one of my favorite comedians, Gilda Radner. If you're old, like me, you'll remember how, as Roseanne Roseannadana, she never got her commentaries just right! I hope this makes you laugh out loud and brings back fond memories of the old Saturday Night Live. 

Here is my original comedy sketch that I wrote in her memory.



😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂


                                     
A Bit Off From the Rodeo!

"Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, 
     S. Mack Bangdrum writes in today wanting to know where the rodeo will be, if he is allowed to wear a bikini to it, pass gas in the stands, burp, smoke, and if smoking leads to a fire, will clowns be available to put it out?"

"Dear S. Mack Bangdrum, sounds like a fun guy,
     I, Roseanne Roseannadanna, once saw a clown trying to get stuck smoked jerky out of his teeth while listening to country music coming out of a radio near a fireplace. Sticky food scraps get in their so tight that a rock song would have been better to get the energy to pick, pick, pick at old gunk for a good cleaning. Way back when, Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the radio to give his fireside chats to the nation, but I could never listen to the president with my finger picking my teeth, making drool slide out of my mouth, in front of a president, no less!"

     "Roseanne, Roseanne Roseannadanna, since Mr. Bangdrum wrote in wanting to know about the rodeo, why are you rambling on about picking your teeth in front of a radio broadcast from a president who died in 1945?"

     "Bitch."

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂


Find humor in my Novel or eBook social story on TpT. 


Are you wondering if I have funny stories in my store? The one that stands out the most is my middle grade novel, Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts. This 203 page manuscript takes readers on an adventure with Knob and Slater as they work to stop the bullies.

Although it’s been four years since Will lost his brother, he still finds himself smothered in the arms of his overprotective mom. To make matters worse, fifth grade means day after day of taunting by a group of boys who share weekly donuts without him. Life changes when a Mohawk wearing cool kid enters the class, assigns Will a new name, and is determined to give him a hand up the social ladder. But social success has its problems as Will soon finds out by following his angel with mismatched wings.



Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Move Over Ed Guin

This week's six sentence writing prompt is Kaleidoscope and I'm linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories. I decided to break away from my usual comedy writing for a horror story that showcases my literary composition skills. As I suspect you know, I own a store that sells products to teach writing to kids, as well as many other resources, such as reading passages with questions. A favorite teen reading passage of mine is about horror movies and Ed Gein. But first, check out this week's gruesome six!


https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Catch-My-Products


😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱   



Move Over Ed Gein



He’d read about Ed Gein, the horrific murderer whose crimes became

known from horror, slasher films such as Psycho, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Silence of the Lambs. Wearing women as clothing delighted Guin but was not enough for this psychopath whose dreams stirred him into an erotic state with the hopes of outdoing his cold, killer idol. So, with gloves on hand, he smothered the girl with a Strychnine soaked cloth and dragged her limp body into the silent barnyard. A cool breeze brought him shivers as he teetered the ax above his victim’s bare corpse then chopped her into multiple pieces. He’d dry out the remnants, that had once been human, with cups of rice under a heat lamp before sliding her remains between two gigantic glass circles connected to a long tube. His gruesome kaleidoscope would then be complete. 



😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱 😱   



Did this bring you to a WTF moment? Afterall, Don’t I write lighthearted comedy? If you teach elementary age students, have I got the bundle for you! I promise it is age appropriate.



https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Writing-Lessons-PowerPoint-and-Worksheets-Bundle-4220345


These twenty-two bundled lesson, that means 30% off the price of individual resources, will give you plenty of great instruction with your kids!




If you are a high school teacher and want a thrilling lesson, check out this reading passage with questions about Ed Guin.




https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/High-School-Reading-Comprehension-Passage-and-Questions-on-Ed-Gein-5186158


Just like my previous post about Alice and Freda, this too is a part of my first High School Reading Passages Bundle.


You will save 30% off the price of individual resources by purchasing this bundle. Note this resource is 30% off as of February, 2021.

This products contains SEVEN resources at one low price. It's hard to find reading passages and questions this interesting for high school. Please read buyer comments.

Extremely satisfied
This was a great opportunity to bring in the SLP and have a discussion about the subject area and branch out to what has recently happened with the correct terminology. The students were very interested in the material and asked many questions. Thank you.

Extremely satisfied
This is a very effective resource. So far we worked on the Impeachment articles. They were engaging and sparked deeper looks into further information. I had many opportunities to model active reading. I recommend this resource.



Tuesday, February 16, 2021

High School Reading Passage Alice & Freda


Back before the pandemic, I was a ghost tour guide who loved telling the story of Alice and Freda. These teenage girls had fallen in love with one another; however, lesbian lovers were not accepted in the 1890s. Heartbroken, Alice did not take kindly to her family forcing Freda to end the love affair. After all, Alice had already planned to cut her hair, dress as a man, change her name to Alvin, and live happily ever after in marriage to her beloved. If she couldn't have Freda, no one could.


 Your high school students will love reading about this gruesome murder on the crowded streets of Memphis and the court trial that followed. In fact, the trial of Alice Mitchell became known as the trial of the century, so don't miss it! Check this out!

Teachers Pay Teachers resource for teens about murder in Memphis from the 18th century. #TpT #teachers #highschool

It doesn't have to be Halloween to read something scary! This reading passage for teens will give your kids the shocking story they've been waiting for. Plus, there is more.

Inside this easy to use and engaging resource, you'll find:

  • Three Page Reading Passage
  • Five Discussion Questions
  • Research/Writing Prompt
  • Answer Key to Discussion Questions


You may also save 30% off the price of individual resources by purchasing the bundle at 30% off. Note this resource is 30% off as of February, 2021.

This products contains SEVEN resources at one low price. It's hard to find reading passages and questions this interesting for high school. Please read buyer comments.

Extremely satisfied
This was a great opportunity to bring in the SLP and have a discussion about the subject area and branch out to what has recently happened with the correct terminology. The students were very interested in the material and asked many questions. Thank you.

Extremely satisfied
This is a very effective resource. So far we worked on the Impeachment articles. They were engaging and sparked deeper looks into further information. I had many opportunities to model active reading. I recommend this resource.


Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Six Sentence Word Story & Teaching Items for Winter

"Holy Plow, Batman!" The dynamic duo dashed downtown to avert the incoming wrath of the nation's news gathering snow storm. It had destroyed places throughout the country and was now knocking on the doors of Memphis, a southern city that owned only six snow plows. 

Using a wrist band borrowed from none other than Buzz Lightyear, Batman zapped the clouds with a stream of mystery matter. Big mistake! The fluffy whites disintegrated into a never-ending stream of white powder that spilled out like a broken pipe without a plumber in sight.


Like this story? Check out my reading passages!

Also, look at these cool winter resources! (Pun intended)


Winter Logic Puzzles

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Winter-Logic-Puzzles-4947276

You want to challenge your gifted and talented students, but the logic puzzles you find are too easy. Find four difficult puzzles in this winter packet that are easy to print and go or share for distance learning. Students will love being challenged with these puzzles, but be warned, these puzzles are not easy due to multiple hints in each clue. Students will have to use reasoning to conclude what is not directly stated. Ie., these are not for the beginner.


Winter Primary Activities


https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Winter-Activities-Packet-2940894

The holidays are over and your kids need something to pick up the winter months, so why not add fun to your class with this Primary Winter Activities Bundle? Your students will have fun while being challenged with these winter worksheets that can be printed or used digitally for distance learning.

Find A plethora of winter resources here!

Winter activities for teachers in elementary schools.

Want to win a $100 TpT gift card? Enter the Rafflecopter for a chance to win!


This post is for the Six Sentence Story hop from Girlie on the Edge's Blog.

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Gift Card Winners, One More Contest, and SITEWIDE SALE

Today and tomorrow marks TpT's huge sitewide sale! My entire store, Catch My Products, is on sale for 20% off, except for my new resource that is 50% off! You can receive an additional 5% off of your purchases by using the code Febsale21.


If you are looking for what to buy, first check your wish list. 
Also, look at these deals:


This little beauty is my new resource that is 1/2 off through the end of the sale. It's a great way to teach your elementary students how to use transition words in their writing. Please find more ideas below:

High School


Middle School



Elementary School


Primary Students
And SO MUCH More! Come check it out Catch My Products on sale.


Last night we ended our six gift card giveaway and here are the winners!


Congratulations, ladies! I believe everyone has received her gift card by now, but if not, please let me know.

Not to worry, if you didn't win a gift card, because we still have a $100 TpT gift card giveaway in progress! Check this one out here.

Sunday, February 7, 2021

More Chances for Teachers to WIN Money on Teachers Pay Teachers!

 Now, that we're settling into a new semester with achievement tests around the corner, it's a great time to win a Teachers Pay Teachers gift card for your class, especially if your trying to work at a distance. Check these out!


GIVEAWAY DETAILS:  

Prize: Chance to win one of SIX $10 Teachers Pay Teachers Gift Cards by entering this Rafflecopter! 

Odds are great because as of now, we have low numbers in this contest which picks a lot of winners!

Win a $10 Gift Card!


Giveaway Organized by: Joyce Lansky (Catch My Products)

Co-hosts: Catch My Products, 1st Grade Pandamania, Maggie's Kinder, Sol Train Learning, Pint Sized Learners, and Rebecca's Ready Resources


Rules: Use the Rafflecopter to enter.  Giveaway ends 2/09/21 and is open worldwide.


Prize: $100 Teachers Pay Teachers Gift Card


$100 TpT Gift Card Giveaway


Giveaway Organized by: Kelly Malloy (An Apple for the Teacher)

Co-hosts:   An Apple for the Teacher Catch My ProductsA Plus KidsStar Kids by NaomiMrs Wenning's Classroom,  TheBeezyTeacherGuide Teach InspireJackie CrewsTeacherof20Little Owl's Teacher TreatsThe Fun FactoryTrending Technology in TennesseeTeach Me TCatch My ProductsMickey's PlaceKB3TeachThe Southern Teach by Kirsten,  Angelica'sResourcesApple's Class Kamp Kindergarten,  Lockwood's Little Learners. 

  Rules: Use the Rafflecopter to enter.  Giveaway ends 2/13/21 and is open worldwide.

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Six Sentence Stories

My friend, at messymimismeanderings entered a six sentence story hop. I love writing, and also the chance to show my skill with words to go along with my last post. The prompt is, "Mark." I don't know him but will figure something out!




My Six Sentence Story


     "Valentine's Day is coming, and I want to set you up with Mark," my friend said.

     I held my breath for longer than I should have but couldn't stomach the thought of another blind date in which the dude had a dead fly in his ear, looked like the model for a poster I once saw asking, Are you a nerd?, and ordered peaches and cottage cheese at the pie shop. "No thank you!"

    Mimi gave me a I'm-not-letting-you-out-of-it face as she pulled out a photo from her wallet and thrust it in my hand. "That's him!"

    The man in the photo reminded me of a younger version of Mark Wahlberg, so I told her to mark me down for Marky Mark.


This is a blog hop. It's been awhile since I've gone hopping, so off I go. If you like my writing, you can purchase my mid-grade novel, Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts on Teachers Pay Teachers. I also have a lot of instructional material on writing for kids, here. Furthermore, I love to write stories or reading passages with questions for all grade levels, to sell in my teacher's store, Catch My Products


To quote Mimi, I'm . . .

Linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories, and the cue is Mark.  

Monday, February 1, 2021

Teaching Using Transition Words in Writing

When teaching kids how to write, make sure they include transition words for smoother prose. Without these linking words, reading a passage feels like being in a car where the driver constantly slams on the brakes. I like to introduce transition words by giving an example of a passage with and without transition words.

Compare the following passages:

Without Transition Words

My mom drove down Poplar Avenue in Memphis. Another driver cut her off without using a signal. She crashed into the other car's passenger door. She got a ticket. It looked like it was the other guy's fault.

With Transition Words (or words to link the sentences together)

As my mom drove down Poplar Avenue in Memphis, another driver cut her off without using a signal. Unfortunately, she crashed into the other car's passenger door. As a result, she got a ticket. I don't think that was fair because it looked like it was the other guy's fault.

Notice the jarring feel of the first passage when the reader comes to a period? This is why kids need to use transition words.

Let your students practice this technique by giving them examples that do not have transition words and letting them practice connecting the sentences, together. I like to use the gradual release teaching method where I model instruction with the passages above.

Next, allow your students to work with you to correct sentences as a group.

We Do
My dad loves to drink coffee in the morning. He puts the cream and sugar in his cup. He pours coffee on top of it. He stirs the mixture with a spoon. I don't think he needs to stir his coffee.

This passage definitely needs transition words! What words could the kids add to it? I like to use time frame words such as, first, next, then, or finally. I will let the success or failure of the kids determine how many practice sentences are needed.


They Do
This means that the students partner up as a team to fix a choppy passage. It's often a good idea to pair a kid who seems to understand the concept with a struggling student. If you are not sure who gets this, how about using a fist or five? Allow students to hold up fingers to indicate how well they are able to use transition words from a scale of zero to five (five being the best). However, be aware that some kids are shy about admitting that they don't understand, so you may want to have the kids close their eyes. Once kids are partnered up, try this.

Benny is a great dog. He goes outside and gets the paper for my mom. He does not pull when we go for a walk. Benny never barks. He acts like Ella Enchanted because he will come when called. He doesn't look like he always wants to come.

With a partner the kids will make this passage a lot smoother.


You Do
This is the final stage of the gradual release teaching method. Kids will work independently to repair a passage and either turn these in for a grade or give the kids a writing prompt and grade that on how they use transition words.

My aunt likes to order items from Amazon. She goes on the site and looks for what she wants. She places the item in the cart and chooses where it will go and how she will pay for it. She sent me a soccer ball that glides across the floors, indoors, without breaking things. I like when my aunt sends me gifts.

This is a mini-lesson format. If you need help on completing a full lesson on using transition words, I have several PowerPoints to do this. Having a PowerPoint while teaching is like having a friend at the board to tell you what to do. Plus, these work great for distance learning since they may be screen shared. I always used PowerPoints for my directed lessons and evaluations. They were especially helpful when feeling nervous because my lessons told me exactly what to do, step by step. For example, you don't have to worry about forgetting to assess learning. I know a woman who got so nervous during an evaluation that she forgot a kid's name. Wow!

Check these out:

Teach kids how to write using transition words in test for smoother prose. #iteachla #iteachtoo #tpt

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Transition-Words-PowerPoint-2390853 This resource is a great PowerPoint for 2nd, 3rd grade, or 4th. It also comes in ActivInspire software for use on the Promethean Board and in Google Slides. Teaching at a distance? No problem. Screen sharing PowerPoints is easy!


Teach Teachers Pay Teachers lesson in writing instruction for 4th, 5th grade, or 6th with the core standards bases lesson for classroom or distance learning through screen share.

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Transition-Words-PowerPoint-1764096  Although this historically based resource does not follow the gradual release process, it has a lot of great features to teach transition words to your 4th, 5th, or 6th grade students. This complete lesson lists standards, has a set, multiple practice passages, vocabulary work, and even a writing prompt. Check out what buyers have said about it!


Teach using transition words in writing easily with print or digital worksheets on Teachers Pay Teachers for schools first.

https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Transition-Words-Worksheets-4949670 If you want worksheets for practice, here are some great ones for 5th grade & 6th. These may be printed or used with Google doc overlays for distance learning!



I have 206 great writing resources at my store, Catch My Products, on Teachers Pay Teachers. Click the link above to see these writing resources. 

New resources are 1/2 off for up to 24 hours after the TpT mailings go out. You can find about these by following my store, Catch My Products. If you'd like to receive free resources, be sure to sign up for my mail list here

Monday, January 18, 2021

Fraction Problems for Elementary Kids on Teachers Pay Teachers

February is coming up, so many of you are looking for ways to teach fractions. Kids often struggle with the concepts surrounding these broken numbers. I like to use slices of pizza when introducing the idea of subtracting fractions and mixed numbers. 

For example, say you have one whole pizza and three individual slices under the heat lamp of your store. If you cut your whole pizza into eight slices, you will have eight more slices or 8/8.

So, your 8/8 plus the 3/8 that are left from the last pie, gives the shop eleven available pieces.

8/8 + 3/8 = 11/8

This, of course, is better explained through pictures.

picture examples to teach fractions to kids #TpT #iteachtoo

I have a great lesson for introducing fractions with regrouping by taking students through steps from a made up pizza parlor. Why not check this out?

Teaching fractions is easy with PowerPoint for screen share and distance learning.


Catch My Products is filled with resources to help you and your kids through fraction season. Another resource is my Mixed Number and Improper Fractions PowerPoint Lesson with a Printable Worksheet. I like this resource because I recently revised it with cute clipart from a new seller on TpT, Palmer's Pix. His clipart is adorable, but since he just started, he doesn't have a lot, yet. I'm looking forward to seeing what he creates.


Easy use lesson to teach students to add fractions and mixed numbers. #teachers #blog


If you teach younger grades, I've got you covered, too. I love this little Fraction Exploration PowerPoint that uses an example from Mr. Hats to showcase fractions according to hat sizes. This shop has great hats for men!

Teaching math is fun and easy with PowerPoint lesson on Teachers Pay Teachers. #education #fractions



Be sure to check out all of my fraction resources in order to get ready for your February math lessons!


Teach kids how to work with fractions in February. Fun lessons to enhance understanding and meet core standards of instruction found on Teachers Pay Teachers. #edu #teacher #teachers