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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Six Sentence Stories A Bit Off From the Rodeo

My Beautiful Daughter

After my last week's gruesome six for Girlie on the Edge's Blog's Six Sentence Stories, I'm here to redeem myself with a short comedy sketch mirrored after one of my favorite comedians, Gilda Radner. If you're old, like me, you'll remember how, as Roseanne Roseannadana, she never got her commentaries just right! I hope this makes you laugh out loud and brings back fond memories of the old Saturday Night Live. 

Here is my original comedy sketch that I wrote in her memory.



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A Bit Off From the Rodeo!

"Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, 
     S. Mack Bangdrum writes in today wanting to know where the rodeo will be, if he is allowed to wear a bikini to it, pass gas in the stands, burp, smoke, and if smoking leads to a fire, will clowns be available to put it out?"

"Dear S. Mack Bangdrum, sounds like a fun guy,
     I, Roseanne Roseannadanna, once saw a clown trying to get stuck smoked jerky out of his teeth while listening to country music coming out of a radio near a fireplace. Sticky food scraps get in their so tight that a rock song would have been better to get the energy to pick, pick, pick at old gunk for a good cleaning. Way back when, Franklin Delano Roosevelt used the radio to give his fireside chats to the nation, but I could never listen to the president with my finger picking my teeth, making drool slide out of my mouth, in front of a president, no less!"

     "Roseanne, Roseanne Roseannadanna, since Mr. Bangdrum wrote in wanting to know about the rodeo, why are you rambling on about picking your teeth in front of a radio broadcast from a president who died in 1945?"

     "Bitch."

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Find humor in my Novel or eBook social story on TpT. 


Are you wondering if I have funny stories in my store? The one that stands out the most is my middle grade novel, Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts. This 203 page manuscript takes readers on an adventure with Knob and Slater as they work to stop the bullies.

Although it’s been four years since Will lost his brother, he still finds himself smothered in the arms of his overprotective mom. To make matters worse, fifth grade means day after day of taunting by a group of boys who share weekly donuts without him. Life changes when a Mohawk wearing cool kid enters the class, assigns Will a new name, and is determined to give him a hand up the social ladder. But social success has its problems as Will soon finds out by following his angel with mismatched wings.



Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Move Over Ed Guin

This week's six sentence writing prompt is Kaleidoscope and I'm linking up with Denise at Girlie On The Edge Blog, where she hosts Six Sentence Stories. I decided to break away from my usual comedy writing for a horror story that showcases my literary composition skills. As I suspect you know, I own a store that sells products to teach writing to kids, as well as many other resources, such as reading passages with questions. A favorite teen reading passage of mine is about horror movies and Ed Gein. But first, check out this week's gruesome six!


https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Catch-My-Products


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Move Over Ed Gein



He’d read about Ed Gein, the horrific murderer whose crimes became

known from horror, slasher films such as Psycho, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Silence of the Lambs. Wearing women as clothing delighted Guin but was not enough for this psychopath whose dreams stirred him into an erotic state with the hopes of outdoing his cold, killer idol. So, with gloves on hand, he smothered the girl with a Strychnine soaked cloth and dragged her limp body into the silent barnyard. A cool breeze brought him shivers as he teetered the ax above his victim’s bare corpse then chopped her into multiple pieces. He’d dry out the remnants, that had once been human, with cups of rice under a heat lamp before sliding her remains between two gigantic glass circles connected to a long tube. His gruesome kaleidoscope would then be complete. 



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Did this bring you to a WTF moment? Afterall, Don’t I write lighthearted comedy? If you teach elementary age students, have I got the bundle for you! I promise it is age appropriate.



https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Writing-Lessons-PowerPoint-and-Worksheets-Bundle-4220345


These twenty-two bundled lesson, that means 30% off the price of individual resources, will give you plenty of great instruction with your kids!




If you are a high school teacher and want a thrilling lesson, check out this reading passage with questions about Ed Guin.




https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/High-School-Reading-Comprehension-Passage-and-Questions-on-Ed-Gein-5186158


Just like my previous post about Alice and Freda, this too is a part of my first High School Reading Passages Bundle.


You will save 30% off the price of individual resources by purchasing this bundle. Note this resource is 30% off as of February, 2021.

This products contains SEVEN resources at one low price. It's hard to find reading passages and questions this interesting for high school. Please read buyer comments.

Extremely satisfied
This was a great opportunity to bring in the SLP and have a discussion about the subject area and branch out to what has recently happened with the correct terminology. The students were very interested in the material and asked many questions. Thank you.

Extremely satisfied
This is a very effective resource. So far we worked on the Impeachment articles. They were engaging and sparked deeper looks into further information. I had many opportunities to model active reading. I recommend this resource.



Tuesday, February 16, 2021

High School Reading Passage Alice & Freda


Back before the pandemic, I was a ghost tour guide who loved telling the story of Alice and Freda. These teenage girls had fallen in love with one another; however, lesbian lovers were not accepted in the 1890s. Heartbroken, Alice did not take kindly to her family forcing Freda to end the love affair. After all, Alice had already planned to cut her hair, dress as a man, change her name to Alvin, and live happily ever after in marriage to her beloved. If she couldn't have Freda, no one could.


 Your high school students will love reading about this gruesome murder on the crowded streets of Memphis and the court trial that followed. In fact, the trial of Alice Mitchell became known as the trial of the century, so don't miss it! Check this out!

Teachers Pay Teachers resource for teens about murder in Memphis from the 18th century. #TpT #teachers #highschool

It doesn't have to be Halloween to read something scary! This reading passage for teens will give your kids the shocking story they've been waiting for. Plus, there is more.

Inside this easy to use and engaging resource, you'll find:

  • Three Page Reading Passage
  • Five Discussion Questions
  • Research/Writing Prompt
  • Answer Key to Discussion Questions


You may also save 30% off the price of individual resources by purchasing the bundle at 30% off. Note this resource is 30% off as of February, 2021.

This products contains SEVEN resources at one low price. It's hard to find reading passages and questions this interesting for high school. Please read buyer comments.

Extremely satisfied
This was a great opportunity to bring in the SLP and have a discussion about the subject area and branch out to what has recently happened with the correct terminology. The students were very interested in the material and asked many questions. Thank you.

Extremely satisfied
This is a very effective resource. So far we worked on the Impeachment articles. They were engaging and sparked deeper looks into further information. I had many opportunities to model active reading. I recommend this resource.