Being a Writer

Being a Writer

I love to write. Reading is fun, too, but there's something special about being your own author. After all, writers get to play God in their own little fictional

world. For example, have you ever read a story and thought, I wish the character would do such and such? The beauty of writing is that you can make these poor imaginary people do whatever you want!

Being a writer also means that you are not defined by real world standards. Although I've never seen a bathroom hand dryer that can be adjusted to fit different size hands, is it not reasonable that one could exist? Exist or not, I had a blast causing a kid to get his head caught in a hand dryer while his spittle caught on the air and flew across the bathroom floor. When he finally escaped, his Mohawk tilted sideways over his red little cheeks. Don't worry. I didn't really hurt this baby.  

Another favorite moment as an author was abusing a Confederate War captain. The stinker boozed too much in his tent, so I gave him a memorable moment where I personally intervened. I know, experts tell authors to be invisible, but I treated myself as another character and had a blast!

Here's an example from that story. The main character is absolutely plastered, so little is spelled correctly.

I hears a voice that just ain’t makin’ sense to me. “You’ve had enough to

drink. You can’t fight the war, now.” That voice is high pitch. Female voice in this dun here battle feeld? I know we not bring wimen along. 

   “Not that I want your side to win, anyway,” she continued. “Slavery is wrong, and the south is going to lose.”

“Who is you?” I says. I try to stomp me feet, but they ain’t workin’ rite. “How dare ya insult my troop.”

The lady chuckled. “My name is Joyce, and I’m going to make you stop drinking.”

Now, I normallee don’t go cursen at wimen, but this one really gots me mad. “&^%$*#, Joyce. Give me mah whiskey back or ah blow you thru!”

“You kill your author, and you’re history.”

“Ah already is histry, dum old woumin!”

Yep. He's history. LOL!

Teaching Writing

Being a writer has been invaluable when it comes to teaching writing. I've often wondered how the teacher who doesn't like to write, and has not worked on her own craft, can help kids. After all, if you don't write, how do you know how to help a child improve?

This is my first blog post on a series on tips for how to teach writing. I will take a different area with various posts and implant my writing wisdom for you. Please join me! To get notification about these posts, please follow my blog.

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