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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Silly Sunday: Repairs


After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. Mechanics correct problems and document repairs on form.

Here are maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S). 
 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

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P: Something loose in cockpit

S: Something tightened in cockpit

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P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

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P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

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P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

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P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

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P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

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P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

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P: Aircraft handles funny. 

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

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P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

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P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

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P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

10 comments:

Rhonda said...

These are very funny. My favorite is P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. - although my loudest laugh may have come from the midget. Thanks for linking up :)

Catherine said...

That was very funny. Thank you for the smiles. Blessings, Catherine xo

robert said...

those mechanics have the same smart ass answers as the ones who work on my bus...:)

Claudia Moser said...

Great laugh!

shelly said...

LOL! Very funny stuff! Did you think all this up?

Joyce Lansky said...

No. These are real comments that were actually written on reports.

Sandee said...

I liked the midget one the very best. Very clever.

Have a terrific day. :)

silverthoughts2 said...

Haha, oh how I wish I could answer people's questions and complaints like that at work. Suspect I'd be fired for it though.

stevebethere said...

LOL very witty, all good but my fave is also the midget one

Have a great week :-)

Mike said...

Great stuff Joyce! Makes me wish I were a mechanic!