I took off work for my yearly physical.
First off, a lady in the waiting room had some disease that made her look like those African children with protein deficiencies. I hope that swollen belly syndrome wasn't contagious.
Next, when I saw the doctor, she noticed I had a rough patch on my skin, "What do you put on it?" she asked.
I don't think she was happy when I gave her the truthful answer, "Fingernails."
After the doctor left, a nurse drew my blood. It was red.
To quote Mr. Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."