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My humorous thoughts about life.

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Showing posts with label wit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wit. Show all posts

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Silly Sunday: Lincoln

I'm thrilled to hear another Abe Lincoln movie, directed by Stephen Spielberg and starring Daniel Day Louis and Sally Field, is coming to theaters this week. Lincoln has always been one of my favorite presidents not just because of the Emancipation Proclamation but also his great wit that most people don't even know about. Last January, I posted funny anecdotes about him. History: Abe Lincoln was Funny

Here are some jokes coined by Lincoln himself.

* It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

* When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.

* If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

* Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

* Whatever you are, be a good one.

* He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.

* When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, its best to let him run.

* You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

* The man who murdered his parents, then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan. 
* Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.