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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Thursday, May 31, 2012

#GBE2: My Turn

I hate reality TV. It's more than just the obvious fact that I'd be the first one voted off the island due to my tactless thirst for honesty. The queen bee would make a heartless remark about the fat chick, and I'd be the one to say, "You arrogant dog! You're just saying that to turn everyone against her." Then it would be over for me.

I've never been good at people games. If someone treads where they shouldn't, I don't give subtle hints. Instead I boldly yell, "Get out of there!" My son calls it a lack of filter and sites it as the main reason all of his girlfriends and sibling's boyfriends have been afraid of me. I'm not that scary, unless you're trying to hide the truth–I'll find it.

The other night, I woke to a running toilet and found my youngest daughter poised in front of the television watching brides who were competing for plastic surgery. Individuals claimed to have noses that were too big or breasts that were too small, but in my mind, the only thing they needed was a psychologist's bench. 

What sort of message do these shows teach our kids? First off, you are not okay the way you are and must have plastic surgery in order to look good for your future husband. I don't know about you, but if my fiance supported my doing this, I'd tell him to take a hike. 

As for my son, if I saw a future Mrs. Lansky embarrassing the competition with twisted remarks on national TV, I'd work hard to break the engagement. 

Of course, my kids only date drop dead beautiful people anyway, so they'd never be on this plastic surgery show. But wait a minute, these girls weren't ugly either. It's not like they were 60+ years old and wanting a little botox to remove a wrinkle. Nor, were they victims of fire or accidents that had facial deformities. Absolutely nothing was wrong with the way any of them looked, so I have to question a doctor putting them through the surgery. Perhaps it was all about making money?

A Beautiful Bride
The winners of these shows are those who outsmart the others through cold, calculated, shrewdness. I don't know about you, but these are not the way I want people to act. Nor, am I in favor of humiliating individuals on national TV. It's as if we're telling our children that it's good to be cruel to others. 

If this is any indication of the world to come, I'm glad I'll be checking out in thirty years or so.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: Final Photo Games

Remember these? What do these pictures represent?


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Light Beer

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Hole Milk

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Knight Mare

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The King of Pop

 
It's a very cool site!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Silly Sunday: Talking Dog


A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana, and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.
 

    
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
 

    
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
 

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.