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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous Thoughts About Life & Teaching"
Showing posts with label Christian Grey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian Grey. Show all posts

Thursday, March 28, 2013

#GBE2: Very, Very Small


I want to be very, very small. Not like midget small, kid small, or can't reach the cookie jar small–although that might help me achieve my goal––but size two small; so small I wouldn't weigh enough to donate blood. That way,  I'd have no guilt about not giving as often as I should.

I was once small.
Furthermore, everything looks better on skinny people, except for heavy backpacks that knock feather weights to the ground. At a camp in Colorado, a counselor stuck a backpack on a small girl's back. Without an ounce of emotion, she fell over backwards. That girl was small.

Also, it would take a small girl to attract a Christian Grey. Scratch that. I DON'T want a Christian Grey; however,  mentioning his name on my blog brings lots of visitors, so CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY. Ha! You got here because you were looking for a hot, sexy guy, didn't you? Fine! Don't get ticked, he's down below. 

In answer to the old question, "Would you rather be beautiful or intelligent?" I might go for beauty, as in small and stupid. That way, I'd be too dumb to know what I'm missing. I'd flip my blonde hair into a bun and spend all day at the beach in my very, very small bikini. Which reminds me, Stephen King said, "The road to Hell is paved with adverbs."If that's the case, I'd settle for just being small, like a size six.

Ian Freaking Hot Somerhalder - You happy?

Enjoy this dance from a man who is very, very small.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

#Writer's Post: Summer

I may be a week overdue, but here goes a post about my favorite time of year, Summer. This go around, I'm spending summer recuperating from surgery behind books, those of others and the one I'm writing.

I've read five books so far this summer. One was a silly little kid read I'd somehow missed over the years. I'm talking about Frindle by Andrew Clements. This author has never been one of my favorites, but Frindle is pretty good. I admire the author's ability to create believable characters and challenge them to grow. Plus, who would of thunk of a kid causing a school revolution over what to call a pen. It's downright stupid of the teacher to play this challenge. As a teacher, I would've just gone along with the thing and call it small stuff.

Next, I read the dirty series that I mentioned a few posts back. Knowing the freakish  nature of Christian Grey, what would he do with a pen? Oh, I can't go there but am wiggling at the thought. And I finally made up my mind. I want him! Armie Hammer has got to take the role of this dark, sexy character. Yep! They'd be swooning in the theatre. He's almost as hot as my dear husband. I say almost.

My latest read was a salute to Ray Bradbury with his fireman story. This was a bit deep for a post surgery gal. I guess I read kid's books and trash because I can't wrap my head around literary works.

So what's next? Hmm. I have a stack of books on my nitestand. (No, I didn't misspell this word. My dad was in the furniture business and that's what the tags always said). I've always wanted to read Bud, Not Buddy yet Stanford Wong has been waiting for a year. Vicky's book Cleopatra's Moon is another possibility as is Uprising. I love Margaret Peterson Haddix, so maybe I should grab her novel. 

I've got a plan. I'm going to read the first page of each of these. The one that won't let me go wins. Done. Oooo. Bud, Not Buddy was so tempting and I even went two pages in, but alas, Depression Era. I don't know after just reading the dark, depressing novel Fahrenheit 451. I need something light and uplifting, so I'm going with Lisa Yee's story about a goofball kid flunking English. 

Hello Mindless Summer!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Writer's Post: Ethos, Pathos, Logos

Just last week, I read about a fifth grade boy who decided to defy his teacher by calling a pen a "Frindle." This is the typical read for me, not too risky in the big picture but such a good book. This week, I read something a bit different. Oh, my. 

Perhaps the party conversation made me curious, or maybe it's the #1 on The New York Times Best Seller list that caught my attention. Could I have been drawn to the book because it was banned in multiple book stores? The final truth: I read it. 


This week's Writer's Post topic is Ethos, Pathos, Logos which means, I'm supposed to convince you to read this book. I'm not going to.  Half of you would call it trash and be mad at me for leading you down this dark path. If you do read it, you might not want to admit. It's downright naughty.

Ethos - You've got to wonder about the knowledge of the author. Since this is a world I will never enter, I'll just have to trust her as she takes me through my vicarious thrill. I imagine writing a story like this would be even more embarrassing than reading one.

Pathos - Appeals to the emotions? Oh yeah. Take one super hot male and combine him with a twisted mind, and you've appealed to the emotions. The book contains fear for the heroine as well as a sick curiosity for what his next "room of pain" trick will be. Oh, and did I mention: Christian Grey is extremely hot.  ; )

Logos - It was on sale for $10 at Costco when I passed the dirty little novel that has this country talking. It's summer vacation, and I have plenty of time to read, so why not?

Okay, I confess. I'm ready for the sequel.

*blush*  *blush*  *blush*

I've just got to know why Christian is so weird and what he's going to do to win Ana after he royally messed up. With my G rated life, this vicarious venture turns me fifty shades of red. What's it about you ask? Oh, no. I'm not going into detail on my innocent little blog. You'll just have to read it yourself . . . but don't say I didn't warn you.

On another note, the movie rights have been sold. The success or failure of the movie is all about picking the best man to play Christian. The women have got to be absolutely swooning over him or nothing is going to work. Who do you vote for?

Or maybe you prefer one of these choices.

Sorry, but the best looking man is not up for the part, and is a little older than 27. Plus, he's married to me, so you can't swoon over him.