|I'm ready to tell you my secret... |
I see glowing green butterflies.
I just saw a commercial for Lunesta, a drug to help one sleep. Its first nineteen seconds tells the consumer what the drug does, while most of the remaining airtime lists the multiple side effects that could occur.
For those who have not seen it, here it is:
"Walking, eating, driving or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported."
Sounds like the movie Werewolves of London when the dude went out for nightly kills without remembering a thing the next morning. "I'm innocent by reason of Lunesta, Occifer."
"Abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, or confusion."
Yeah! You might imagine you see a green butterfly floating over your head; or if you take the drug, aggressiveness could cause you to fight and have someone knock you out. Voila, you're asleep... or maybe you just thought it happened?
"In depressed patients, worsening of depression along with risks of suicide may occur."
Suicide, huh? That's a sure way to get some sleep.
"Allergic reaction such as tongue or throat swelling occur rarely and may be fatal."
Another sleep enhancer with an added benefit. If your tongue swells large enough, it could stop you from snoring and help your husband, wife, or roommate sleep too.
"Side effects may include unpleasant taste, headaches, dizziness, and morning drowsiness."
Bad taste? Well, forget that drug!
I don't know about you, but if I have a head ache or feel dizzy, I'm going back to bed. And if one is drowsy in the morning, what's the point of taking a drug to help you sleep?
"Ask your doctor if Lunesta is right for you."
And before he answers, pray he likes you.
"Sleep well on the wings of Lunesta."
Yeah, right! It has so many side effects, I'd be awake all night worrying about them.
Here is a funny spoof ad for Lunesta. Enjoy!