Wewriwa on the Last Weekend of September

Welcome to another addition of the 

Weekend Writing Warriors

Hop on over to the main page and check out the wonderful snippets from a variety of genres.

http://www.wewriwa.com/

Last week I abandoned my YA manuscript and gave my dear readers a middle grade snippet. Here is another sample from MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS. Since the manuscript is unpublished, feel free to put on your "Evil Editor" hats and give me some honest yet constructive feedback. I can take it! 

I've struggled to write my metaphor without using words that take the reader off the page. This has been a challenge. To quote Mark Twain, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightening bug." Please help me to strike lightning as I introduce this kid.

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My thoughts and everything else rattled as the door flung open and smashed into the wall. Slater Slatker, the new kid, burst into the room followed by papers flying off desks and swirling into an air dance before settling onto the floor. With a smile that reached from ear to ear, he blew a whirlwind of charm toward my class, and within two minutes, knew them better than I had after five years. Obviously, Slater was used to spinning dirt while making his tornadic path, which meant life wouldn't be the same in the wake of his destruction. His brown Mohawk spiked on top of his head into a stiffly gelled shark fin. He wore faded red shorts and a sleeveless skateboarding T-shirt on that chilly October morning. The entire class turned toward him as he stomped his monstrous Nikes onto the gray tiles. That kid had the biggest darn feet I’d ever seen, and a mouth to match.

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GUTGAA Meet and Greet

I am joining Deana Barnhart's week of fun. To get in on the action, hop over to her blog at GUTGAA. Now for the meet and greet I will give you the rare opportunity to get to know me by answering her questions.

-Where do you write?

Where don't I write? I like to sit at the dining room table, kitchen table, or curled on my love seat, preferably with a little love dog by my side. 

-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see?

I spy with my little eye a Millie dog stretch on the couch. That's right, she's not on my lap this time.

-Favorite time to write?

I like to write on week end mornings or at night. 

-Drink of choice while writing?

While writing, I'll occasionally sip a cup of coffee (mornings), water, or Crystal Light sweetened water. Currently I have nothing to drink and my mouth is a bit parched. Excuse me while I fetch a cup of water.

Ah. That's better, but now I have to–TMI. My Honey Bear dog likes to push the door open for a little toilet love. 

-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence?

I'm what you call adaptable. Sometimes I write in silence while at other times the TV drones in the background. If I'm in a serious writing mood or struggling to make progress, I'll dim the lights and wrap my head around a bit of classical music. 

-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it?

When I was a child, my mother told me to never eat anything unwrapped on Halloween. Being obedient to a fault, year after year I passed up Mrs. Zimmerman's amazing homemade donuts because, yeah, they weren't wrapped. 

This gave me the idea of a child strangled in a cocoon of mother trying to break free into a fun but daring life. Not that my mom was overly protective, she wasn't, but I've known helicopter parents who breed children who can't do a thing for themselves. These kids need a story about too much mother love. Furthermore, a third grader with a spiky Mohawk and lots of personality gave me my main character's mentor and thus MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS was hatched.

-What's your most valuable writing tip?

Replace "be" verbs with action verbs. I know it's basic, but I've see many writers ignore this beginning writing tip. Those who learn to strengthen verbs blossom to a whole new level.