Catch My Products

Catch My Products
Click on the image to visit Catch My Products.

My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Quagmire - Move over Moonglompers!

Quagmire
Kurt Vonnegut introduced us to Diana Moon Glampers—the ugliest, stupidest, and meanest women on Earth—who often made cameo appearances in several of his novels. My favorite role of Diana’s was as the button pushing general who would scramble the thoughts of intelligent people by causing plane wreck noises in their ears. If you’ve never read Vonnegut’s short story, “Harrison Bergeron,” check it out.

Although Diana is mean, stupid and ugly, Quagmire beats her at being the most disgusting person known to fiction (giggity giggity goo). This Family Guy neighbor has a mind geared totally to sex and abusing woman.  I'd like to slap him then throw him in jail. Even his name means an awkward, complex, or hazardous situation. That's the man. He's the sort of moron that makes one thank the lord he's fiction and hope a real life creep like Quagmire stays out of one's neighborhood. Every thought he has is about sex. He will take the most benign situation and relate it to, you guessed it, sex. Gross. If you haven't met this fictional character, consider yourself blessed. If you haven't met a real life Quagmire, that's even better!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Running

After eating a disgusting glob of fat, calories, and carbs on Mother's Day, I need to get back to running. I'm a long time seasonal runner who takes up the sport when it's convenient or a group opportunity arrives. This usually happens in the summer and fall. This summer, I will once again start the Road Race Series. The event, that is filled with super jocks, begins in mid July with races every two weeks that get longer as we go.

"Fall" Running Photo
If all goes well and I've made it to every race, I'll drop out after the 10K. In order to get a cool prize, I must complete six races, and that is good enough for me. Unfortunately, life usually keeps me from completing my six races before they get too lengthy. Last year, I missed a race and had to run 10 "fun" miles. But fortunately, I only had to do that once. The rest of the athletes will do this twice and run the most boring half marathon course known to human kind. I did it once and swore I'd never run it again. It's a straight route up a barren highway and back. Maybe some road kill could help the interest level along the course, but unfortunately, it's against Tennessee law to take road kill home and eat it unless you actually kill the vermin. Daggumit! How else could we get cheap meat?

Come fall, I'll further my running adventures by joining the women's running series. I'll meet with the intermediate group once a week, and we'll run a few miles every Monday night. So being May, I guess it's time to dust off the running shoes and prepare to lag behind the rabbits (runners not road kill).

Speaking of animals, have you seen the movie, Jumanji? When running, I often think of the panting hippo at the back of the stampede. Yep! That would be moi; but, I figure running behind the pack beats snoozing on the sofa. Although someone once told me it is better to be like an elephant than a fly. The elephant moves slowly and lives a long time, while the hyper fly zips around the window and is dead by morning. Personally, I wouldn't want to be either . . . nor do I want to be the hippo from Jumanji, but that's life in the runner's world.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Stylish Blogger Award

I was given a Stylish Blogger Award  from Rhonda several weeks ago, but I'm just now getting around to taking it.  Having Style is new for me!  I never really considered the humor genre to be elegant but maybe I make it that way. ;)  Then yesterday she gave me the Versatile Blogger Award. I guess if I can have style, I must be versatile too. The awards have the same rules, so I'm awarding them together to some wonderful bloggers. You may choose the one that fits you best or have them both because I'm giving them to those on the list below.

                                 ♥ Thank You Rhonda at http://www.laugh-quotes.com
Stylish Blogger Award

With these awards come a set of rules. Rhonda and I are not crazy about rules, but here they are:
1. Thank and link back to the person giving you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs you think deserve this award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

Here's my seven "things" in case you're interested:
  • I love to write for children.
  • I'm currently working on my fifth kidlit novel.
  • I have a story published in this month's issue of AppleSeeds magazine.
  • I have queried and am hoping for more gigs.
  • I am currently enrolled in my second course at the Institute of Children's Literature.
  • My all time favorite authors are Gordan Kormen and Margaret Peterson Haddix.
  • I am an active member of the Midsouth chapter of SCBWI.
Here are some wonderful blogs that deserve the Stylish & Versatile Blogger Awards:

Anna at Green Talk http://www.green-talk.com
Shelli's  at Market My Words http://www.faeriality.blogs.com
Christina at Hungry Meets Healthy http://www.hungrymeetshealthy.com
Crazy Mommy at Evil Eyebrows and Other Oddities www.evileyebrows.blogspot.com
Talli at Talli Roland http://talliroland.blogspot.com
Aimee at Seeking the Write Life http://www.aimeelsalter.com
Debbie at Inkygirl http://inkygirl.com
Pamo at Pamo Blog http://pamoblog.blogspot.com
Karen at Following the Whispers http://karenfollowingthewhispers.blogspot.com
The Humor Smith http://www.humorsmith.com
Quirky Loon http://www.quirkyloon.com
Jodi at Rants "N Rascals http://www.rantsnrascals.com
The Chronicals of Rico and Regular Appearances From...  http://ricoswaff.com


Please check them out.