#AtoZ : EEEEEEEEK!

I'm home from work for two days. Wednesday morning, I saw my gynecologist... or rather she stuck my feet in those awkward stirrups and saw me. My youngest daughter–nineteen–has never had the pleasure of visiting this sort of doctor, so I made her an appointment in May and told her it doesn't hurt a bit. It's just like a trip to the dentist, except they're looking at the other end.

Next, I enjoyed a yummy lunch of vegetable broth soup, jello, and Sprite. At two o'clock the real fun began, and the gyno visit was the easy part of the day. Every fifteen minutes, I took four pills with eight ounces of fluid for an hour and fifteen minutes. To tell you what happened then would be too much information.

At seven, I repeated the whole disgusting procedure, but at least I didn't have to drink chalk like I did the last two times. I don't know why I took the last dose–obedient, I guess–but also ridiculous; there was nothing in me!

I took two potassium pills and swallowed four Dulcolax at bedtime. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.

To top it all off, I got a Fleet Enema this morning. As if there's anything else in there. It's early in the morning, and I'm off to the St. Francis Surgery Center to have some lucky doctor look up my --- eeeeeeeek!

Writer's Post: Colonoscopy

I'm signed up to have my third colonoscopy on April 5.

For those who have not had the pleasure of a this medical procedure, let me enlighten you. First, you restrain from eating solids while drinking chalk and visiting the toilet to expel more manure than anyone thought the human body could hold. Next, a loved one wheels your dehydrated body to the hospital to have a needle inserted into a flat vein. It's nighty night while a doctor inserts a scope up your butt in search of polyps. These bugabears are instantly clipped and tested for cancer.

So far, I've been polyp free, so hopefully I'll have positive results come April.

Colon cancer is one of the most easily preventable diseases; however, many fail to have the necessary test. If you are over fifty or have a family history, get moving to your doctor for some probe fun.