Weekend Writing Warriors - 8/24/14

   Weekend Writing Warriors

8/24/14

 

Come join the hop to read an awesome eight from published and unpublished authors at: http://www.wewriwa.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

I know I'd already posted my first eight lines of my manuscript, but I decided on a rewrite as a result of a critiquer's advice. Hopefully this new beginning will jump the reader, agent, or editor into the story sooner.

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

       I tried to focus on Ms. Link’s daily review, but it was pointless once I’d spotted the fat guy outside. He had hung under a tree for the past half hour with his bug eyes aimed straight at me, or at least it seemed that way. I rubbed my hand over my stiff neck and noticed that my shoulders had inched upwards. Knowing I had to stop this stalker, I got out of my chair and headed toward the window. Maybe if I closed it, he wouldn’t be able to see inside.

       “Ben, what are you doing?” Ms. Link asked.

       “Sorry, m’am. I was cold. Thought I’d close the window.”

       “I don’t think so,” she sang. “You can’t do that to a menopausal women. I’ll be burning like the steel under Carnegie’s furnaces.”

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Not On My Chinny Chin Chin

Although I haven't been a gum chewer since childhood, I'm trying to get back in the habit. It's a desperate attempt for an old, fat lady to avoid the dreaded double chin. According to a Youtube video, there are many things one can do to fix this unsightly problem. I could coat my chin with a raw egg-white solution, gross. The video advised not to leave it on too long or it could cook. I could just see that in Memphis. After heading outside, eggs would permanently mold onto my face or I'd be attacked by every hungry dog in the neighborhood.

Another possibility is chin exercises. Head up, head down, tongue in, tongue, out. Kiss, kiss the ceiling. Hopefully it won't kiss back . . . especially the spot where the upstairs toilet overflowed. Actually, one is not supposed to climb chairs and put lips to the ceiling. It's just one of those blow kisses you did as a kid when you didn't want to kiss your scraggly old aunt. Of course, now I'm the ancient aunt who demands the kisses.

Let's face it, the easiest exercise of all is gum chewing. Well, it's supposed to be easy but I find it quite painful. After over an hour of straight chewing, my jaw wants to sleep. You'd think it would be no biggie after all the chewing I've done when over indulging in food, but even I don't chew that much. 

I've also had a pet peeve about gum chomping. Being next to a chomper drives me nuts. Now, I'm trying to chomp to get full benefit of that lousy stick of gum that lost all its flavor after five minutes. 

Enough rest. Time to grab a stick of sugarless. Which reminds me of the librarian from seventh grade. Ms. Lizzy Kirk would circle the library with her super powered nose. Finally, she'd catch the gum chewing culprit and sing, "Ah smmellll Juicy Fruit!"

Now, enjoy some chin singing.

Wordless Wednesday: Stressed

Are you stressed?

Although the two dolphins in the photo are identical, doctors say that people under stress do not see them that way. Look at the picture and you tell me. 

If you do not see two identical dolfins . . .

You are stressed!