Not On My Chinny Chin Chin

Although I haven't been a gum chewer since childhood, I'm trying to get back in the habit. It's a desperate attempt for an old, fat lady to avoid the dreaded double chin. According to a Youtube video, there are many things one can do to fix this unsightly problem. I could coat my chin with a raw egg-white solution, gross. The video advised not to leave it on too long or it could cook. I could just see that in Memphis. After heading outside, eggs would permanently mold onto my face or I'd be attacked by every hungry dog in the neighborhood.

Another possibility is chin exercises. Head up, head down, tongue in, tongue, out. Kiss, kiss the ceiling. Hopefully it won't kiss back . . . especially the spot where the upstairs toilet overflowed. Actually, one is not supposed to climb chairs and put lips to the ceiling. It's just one of those blow kisses you did as a kid when you didn't want to kiss your scraggly old aunt. Of course, now I'm the ancient aunt who demands the kisses.

Let's face it, the easiest exercise of all is gum chewing. Well, it's supposed to be easy but I find it quite painful. After over an hour of straight chewing, my jaw wants to sleep. You'd think it would be no biggie after all the chewing I've done when over indulging in food, but even I don't chew that much. 

I've also had a pet peeve about gum chomping. Being next to a chomper drives me nuts. Now, I'm trying to chomp to get full benefit of that lousy stick of gum that lost all its flavor after five minutes. 

Enough rest. Time to grab a stick of sugarless. Which reminds me of the librarian from seventh grade. Ms. Lizzy Kirk would circle the library with her super powered nose. Finally, she'd catch the gum chewing culprit and sing, "Ah smmellll Juicy Fruit!"

Now, enjoy some chin singing.

Silly Sunday: How I Used My Underwear to Get Healthy

It's not Sunday or even that close but I figure some of you might be busy if I waited to post at my usual time, so here goes early. Besides, it's Sunday in New Zealand where Rhonda starts her Silly Sunday at Laugh Quotes.

 Back in October I injured my knee while running and had to go to physical therapy. One of the many exercises my therapist assigned was the "penguin walk." This involves putting a band around the ankles and taking side steps. Unfortunately, he forgot to give me the band.




So I improvised. I have a pair of elastic underwear that have quite a bit of stretch in them. These came in handy when doing the penguin walk.

If that isn't silly on a Sunday, nothing is.

If you need more silliness than using underwear to exercise, hop over to Rhonda's Silly Sunday.

#GBE2 Summer

This week's challenge is to write about summer or our favorite thing. What's the difference? Being a teacher, nothing's better than ten weeks of blessed summer vacation. I look at it like New Years as I resolve to accomplish tons over the summer months. Believe it or not, I am now entering my last week of vacation so here's a reflection of my goals and accomplishments: pfft!

(1) This summer I had planned to exercise, diet, and shed unwanted weight. Reality: I sat, ate, and gained a pound or two. Blame it on eating out and vacationing, especially since we traveled everywhere by car. I clocked a full week butt sitting in four wheeled vehicles. Sometimes driving, sometimes sleeping, sometimes stuck in traffic--especially in Birmingham. Once I got my act together with a running regiment, I got strep and couldn't swallow. Achaha! That's when I lost weight. At least I can now go back to work no fatter than I was before.

(2) I was going to clean my house. The first step was to vacuum dog hairs. I did. The next day, more dog hairs covered the rug. With three dogs (two of them goldens), vacuuming is as worthwhile as shoveling snow in a snow storm. So the house is still dirty, but what do you expect? I can barely wash my toes, you think I'd be washing windows? Plus there's a mysterious white substance raining into the corner of our porch. Future Wordless Wednesday Topic: Identify the Substance.

(3) Of course I was going to get my novel in shape and send out queries. I've made a little bit of progress on Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts, sent one Bompsy query to an agent, and nothing in the magazine department. So I can still brag that I have the best book that's never been published. Even a friend of mine told me she couldn't sleep because she was so worried about poor Bompsy. She stayed up reading my manuscript late into the night . . . but the agents and editors don't want to hear that.

So basically summer's over and I've accomplished next to nothing, which means it was a darn good break. Since I told you what I didn't do, you'll have to listen to this video if you want to know what I did do during the last nine weeks.

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