#BFF: Food

When I was a wee little girl, I ate two things: hot dogs and jello. The hot dogs had to be peeled of skin and cut into little round pieces while the jello was usually red.

My frantic mother rushed me to the doctor and asked, "What do I do?"

"Feed her hot dogs and jello," the doctor said.

(Reminds me of the old joke, "Doc, it hurts when I do this!"

"Don't do this.")

So Mom left me alone and with little fanfare, my food jag slipped away. Today there are very few foods I don't like. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I won't eat, but it's due to diet, health, or religious issues, not from stamping my feet like a two year old.

I still love hot dogs (even after the events from my A-Z hot dog post). Here is a picture of my lunch. Yes. That's a hot dog hiding behind asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and tomatoes. I count carbs, so you're not seeing a slice of bread, but I did eat a delicious 13 carb fiber brownie for dessert.  The vegetables are about 5 carbs per serving, and I probably have at least four servings on the plate, so I think I'm good. If not, I will instantly balloon out and have to throw out the few things that didn't shrink in my hot closet, but that's okay too because my kids have directions via Rita Rudner.

They've grown up hearing, "If I'm ever on life support, don't pull the plug until I'm a size six."

"Yes, Mother." They roll their eyes and never find me even slightly funny.

Back to the carbs. I started counting carbs in April and since then I've shed about twenty pounds. I don't eat much in the way of sugar, but that's nothing new. The thought of a glazed donut makes me want to gag, which is ironic because my WIP is a story called MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS and involves a little boy who's deprived of these and other delectables from his over protective mother.

I don't eat pork as a poor attempt to follow at least one kosher law. If I were truly a good Jew, I'd give up my favorite traif, shrimp, but it ain't happening. At least not outside the home.

I like wine, but every time I drink a glass, my blood sugar spikes. I'm not a Diabetic but the disease runs heavily in my family and that's the main reason I'm carb counting. I have a pre-Diabetic diagnosis and don't want to take it any further than that, so I figure I have a choice: Eat healthy and lose weight or get the disease and lose the weight of a leg or two. I choose the former. Yay! Blood sugar was 93 this morning.

As for foods I don't like, I hate liver, olives, sweet pickles and relish. I'm not a big fan of okra, but it has more to due with the slimy texture than the taste. It looks like snot and doesn't score too well on my appetizing meter.

Now that you know my food issues, I leave you with a musical number on the topic. Signing off from the Methodist Germantown Hospital. Surgery was a success, and I'm going home today. I hope the dogs don't attack me when I head through the door.

Beware of Dogs

Enjoy one of my favorite songs about a yummy food that I won't be eating for awhile.

#GBE2 Summer

This week's challenge is to write about summer or our favorite thing. What's the difference? Being a teacher, nothing's better than ten weeks of blessed summer vacation. I look at it like New Years as I resolve to accomplish tons over the summer months. Believe it or not, I am now entering my last week of vacation so here's a reflection of my goals and accomplishments: pfft!

(1) This summer I had planned to exercise, diet, and shed unwanted weight. Reality: I sat, ate, and gained a pound or two. Blame it on eating out and vacationing, especially since we traveled everywhere by car. I clocked a full week butt sitting in four wheeled vehicles. Sometimes driving, sometimes sleeping, sometimes stuck in traffic--especially in Birmingham. Once I got my act together with a running regiment, I got strep and couldn't swallow. Achaha! That's when I lost weight. At least I can now go back to work no fatter than I was before.

(2) I was going to clean my house. The first step was to vacuum dog hairs. I did. The next day, more dog hairs covered the rug. With three dogs (two of them goldens), vacuuming is as worthwhile as shoveling snow in a snow storm. So the house is still dirty, but what do you expect? I can barely wash my toes, you think I'd be washing windows? Plus there's a mysterious white substance raining into the corner of our porch. Future Wordless Wednesday Topic: Identify the Substance.

(3) Of course I was going to get my novel in shape and send out queries. I've made a little bit of progress on Mrs. Zimmerman's Donuts, sent one Bompsy query to an agent, and nothing in the magazine department. So I can still brag that I have the best book that's never been published. Even a friend of mine told me she couldn't sleep because she was so worried about poor Bompsy. She stayed up reading my manuscript late into the night . . . but the agents and editors don't want to hear that.

So basically summer's over and I've accomplished next to nothing, which means it was a darn good break. Since I told you what I didn't do, you'll have to listen to this video if you want to know what I did do during the last nine weeks.

If you like my blog, please VOTE for me on the Picket Fence 'cause what else have you got to do?

Fast Food

Being hungry, I treated myself to a stop at Burger King and ordered a Whopper Meal instead of the Whopper Junior Meal. After I told the lady what I wanted, she asked, "Small, medium, or large?" She should have said, "Do you want large, humongous, or disgusting!" There is no such thing as small when it comes to American fast food.

1,010 Calories

As any carb counter knows, 45 carbs per meal is about what we should consume. Sixty is okay, any more than that is too much. My "small" Whopper Meal consisted of a Whopper, fries, and a Diet Coke. Whew! Thank God my Coke was diet.

As I check the Burger King website, I see that I consumed  . . . HOLY SH*T!! Calories: 1010! Fat: 57 grams! Carbohydrates: 95 freaking grams! Like that's two meals in one. Like that's an entire day's worth of calories. Like that's a heart attack. I don't feel too well.

Now mind you, this was the "small"meal. Had I supersized . . . 1110(med)/1210 (lg) calories; 62(med)/67 (lg) grams of fat; 107(med.)/120 (lg) grams of carbs! Why would anyone ever need to super size a fast food meal? And to think, Burger King is flame broiled. Other places might be worse.

Burp! It was good but after looking at the carbs, I think I'll need to give up this yummy pleasure. Today is our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I hope my husband isn't planning on taking me to Burger King.

The Wake Up Call

Diabetes has harassed my family from generation to generation. First, my paternal grandmother hobbled up and down steps with her wooden leg, then my poor father suffered tremendously when this awful disease stole his limbs, kidneys, and life. My mother became diabetic as an elderly lady and now another close family member tests her blood in order to keep her Diabetic sugar levels under control. So why did I wait so long to kick into a healthy life style?

It’s easy to become fat and lazy being a writer. Over the summer, I spent hours sitting in front of my computer doing the thing I love most—writing, but there are consequences. My weight was up along with my cholesterol and blood pressure until that frightening call from my doctor’s office telling me to come back for another blood test because I might have Diabetes. Fortunately, I got lucky with a Pre-Diabetes diagnosis and a stern warning that my status would surely change if I didn’t react to the news.

So, I’m doing what’s necessary. The Diabetic Store in Memphis, Tennessee offers free classes for anyone whether or not you are a diabetic. I eagerly attended two classes and have followed the eating and exercise plan proposed to me. Three weeks later, I’ve dropped a dozen pounds and am still going strong.

Throughout my life, I figured I’ve gained and lost the weight of several people in my quest to be thin. Since my last rebound to the fat lady store, I’d given up on this task and watched my weight balloon past my nine-month pregnancy size. I’d even stolen a comedian’s line by instructing my kids to keep me on life support, if I ever needed it, until I became a size 6.

Now, I’m determined to be a six without life support. The difference in this diet and all of my others is portion control. In the past, I’d load up on the healthy vegetables but never limit how much, thus keeping my stomach from shrinking. I now realize that this is what keeps people thin: that small stomach that can’t fit careless binges.

At first, eating three ounces of meat, a third cup of rice, and two or three half-cup servings of vegetables was very difficult. I chew my food slowly and top off the meal with a 16 carb serving of sugar free chocolate ice cream. I’d leave the table hungry but was determined not to eat more because that was all my body needed. I did and still do enjoy snacks when hungry, but I keep them around 15 carbs. Now that I’ve finished my third week, an amazing thing has happened. I can get full on very little food, and it’s no longer difficult.

So wish me luck in this venture, and if you’re overweight, come join me before the doctor gives you a do or die warning.