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My humorous thoughts about life.

"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your Classroom / Music and Random Fun"

Thursday, June 7, 2012

#BFF: Food

When I was a wee little girl, I ate two things: hot dogs and jello. The hot dogs had to be peeled of skin and cut into little round pieces while the jello was usually red.

My frantic mother rushed me to the doctor and asked, "What do I do?"

"Feed her hot dogs and jello," the doctor said.

(Reminds me of the old joke, "Doc, it hurts when I do this!"

"Don't do this.")

So Mom left me alone and with little fanfare, my food jag slipped away. Today there are very few foods I don't like. Don't get me wrong, there are many things I won't eat, but it's due to diet, health, or religious issues, not from stamping my feet like a two year old.

I still love hot dogs (even after the events from my A-Z hot dog post). Here is a picture of my lunch. Yes. That's a hot dog hiding behind asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and tomatoes. I count carbs, so you're not seeing a slice of bread, but I did eat a delicious 13 carb fiber brownie for dessert.  The vegetables are about 5 carbs per serving, and I probably have at least four servings on the plate, so I think I'm good. If not, I will instantly balloon out and have to throw out the few things that didn't shrink in my hot closet, but that's okay too because my kids have directions via Rita Rudner.

They've grown up hearing, "If I'm ever on life support, don't pull the plug until I'm a size six."

"Yes, Mother." They roll their eyes and never find me even slightly funny.

Back to the carbs. I started counting carbs in April and since then I've shed about twenty pounds. I don't eat much in the way of sugar, but that's nothing new. The thought of a glazed donut makes me want to gag, which is ironic because my WIP is a story called MRS. ZIMMERMAN'S DONUTS and involves a little boy who's deprived of these and other delectables from his over protective mother.

I don't eat pork as a poor attempt to follow at least one kosher law. If I were truly a good Jew, I'd give up my favorite traif, shrimp, but it ain't happening. At least not outside the home.

I like wine, but every time I drink a glass, my blood sugar spikes. I'm not a Diabetic but the disease runs heavily in my family and that's the main reason I'm carb counting. I have a pre-Diabetic diagnosis and don't want to take it any further than that, so I figure I have a choice: Eat healthy and lose weight or get the disease and lose the weight of a leg or two. I choose the former. Yay! Blood sugar was 93 this morning.

As for foods I don't like, I hate liver, olives, sweet pickles and relish. I'm not a big fan of okra, but it has more to due with the slimy texture than the taste. It looks like snot and doesn't score too well on my appetizing meter.

Now that you know my food issues, I leave you with a musical number on the topic. Signing off from the Methodist Germantown Hospital. Surgery was a success, and I'm going home today. I hope the dogs don't attack me when I head through the door.

Beware of Dogs

Enjoy one of my favorite songs about a yummy food that I won't be eating for awhile.


Unknown said...

Amazing you were able to lose that much weight!! Your lunch looks pretty good to me Joyce. My son is a picky eater, and he drives me nuts. I keep hoping he will grow out of it.


Lynn Proctor said...

yay---love the little doggies and it wouldn't be summer without that song!

Darlene ~Bloggity Blogger~ said...

When I was younger, I often went on a low carb diet for quick weight loss. I should do it again because I have only taken off 11 pounds since January and I too need to get my glucose numbers down - sooner than later because I am also pre-diabetic. ;-(

eastcoastlife said...

I should learn to count my carbs since you could lose 20 pounds doing that. My problem is I love breads and pastries. :(

Hope you are feeling better. Have a lovely weekend!

Binky said...

Good luck with the diet. It sounds as if you're off to a very good start.

I hope your recovery is quick.

Calico Crazy said...

I laughed until I cried at the size 6 bit. We've done low carb in the past and really should go back to it permanently, but with all the other dietary restrictions in our household it just never happens for more than a week or two.

Theresa Mahoney said...

I am way to undisciplined to cut out the carbs. I just love them (and sweets) oh so much. Way to go for you though! 20 lbs is awesome!

All About Jillzy said...

your blog is fabulous! i can't stop reading it! i love your "if i could do it over" (or something like that) and i love your post about being a picky eater. i laughed out loud! thanks for making me smile today!