Writer's Post: Accidents

This week's writer's post topic is on accidents. How fun is that! It brings back all sorts of wonderful memories about my childhood.

Hey, Boo Boo!

When I was a little girl, my daddy called me his "Little Boo Boo." I'm not sure why, since we never stole any pic-a-nic baskets, and it's not like I messed up too much... okay, I confess, my bother called me, "Miss Breaker," but pul-lease. I'm not the only one in the family to have accidents. I didn't crash a bicycle built for two on the horse trail in French Lick, Indiana, nor did I back into the dishwasher to emerge with a big freakin' knife hanging out of my booty. That was someone else in the family.

I'm also not to blame when the old neighbor crashed his bike on the side of the road. I was maybe eight years old and carefully looping my wheels around the neighborhood when I happened to pass an old guy––probably younger than I am now, but old to me––wobbling back and forth on a tiny bike made for his kid. He obviously never learned how to ride a bike, since "they" say one never forgets. 

Anyway, I spun past him, minding my own business and the dude crashes! I didn't push him. I didn't veer into him. In fact, I wasn't anywhere near him; however, his old biddy wife comes pounding the door screaming at how I caused her sweetheart's accident.

How could anyone as cute as I was cause trouble?

Anyone who grew up with me knows I was just the type to grit my teeth and plunge into old guys on undersized bikes just for kicks. No, Mr., that was your kid! Remember, him? He used to dig holes in the park, cover them with leaves, and wait behind a tree, so he could laugh at seeing "someone" have an "accident." I'm surprised he didn't have an accident in his pants the day the scary sixth grade teacher picked him up hitch hiking. I know I would have. Accidents. Yeah, right!

Wordless Wednesday: Men Can Fix Anything

Got this from an e-mail my sister had sent. The photos are labeled There Fixed It, which gives multiple links to humor. Here are some of my favorites.

Electrical Problem

Bookshelf Problem

Who needs an ice chest?

Heat the coffee

And finally the best one from http://funzu.com/

Out of Diapers

#GBE2: What's Funny about Lunesta Commercials? Plenty!

I'm ready to tell you my secret... 
I see glowing green butterflies.

I just saw a commercial for Lunesta, a drug to help one sleep. Its first nineteen seconds tells the consumer what the drug does, while most of the remaining airtime lists the multiple side effects that could occur.

For those who have not seen it, here it is:

"Walking, eating, driving or engaging in other activities while asleep without remembering it the next day have been reported."

Sounds like the movie Werewolves of London when the dude went out for nightly kills without remembering a thing the next morning. "I'm innocent by reason of Lunesta, Occifer."

"Abnormal behaviors may include aggressiveness, agitation, hallucinations, or confusion."

Yeah! You might imagine you see a green butterfly floating over your head; or if you take the drug, aggressiveness could cause you to fight and have someone knock you out. Voila, you're asleep... or maybe you just thought it happened?

"In depressed patients, worsening of depression along with risks of suicide may occur."

Suicide, huh? That's a sure way to get some sleep.
 
"Allergic reaction such as tongue or throat swelling occur rarely and may be fatal."

Another sleep enhancer with an added benefit. If your tongue swells large enough, it could stop you from snoring and help your husband, wife, or roommate sleep too.

"Side effects may include unpleasant taste, headaches, dizziness, and morning drowsiness."

Bad taste? Well, forget that drug! 

I don't know about you, but if I have a head ache or feel dizzy, I'm going back to bed. And if one is drowsy in the morning, what's the point of taking a drug to help you sleep?

"Ask your doctor if Lunesta is right for you."

And before he answers, pray he likes you.

"Sleep well on the wings of Lunesta." 


Yeah, right! It has so many side effects, I'd be awake all night worrying about them.

Here is a funny spoof ad for Lunesta. Enjoy!