Can't Stop Laughing!

My sister-in-law tells me she hardly ever goes on Facebook because she feels like it's junior high revisited. In some ways she's right, but at other times it makes me laugh hysterically. Maybe it's because I still have the maturity level of a middle schooler.  Today is one of those days as one funny events unfolded and a memory that made me laugh so hard my tummy hurt came back from something my sister posted.

Meet Kathy. She is one of my bloggy friends who hangs at The Giggling Trucker's Wife. She has a great sense of humor and writes interesting posts that always hold my attention. Truthfully with my ADD attention span, that's an accomplishment. Knowing Kathy through her site and our connections with GBE2, Writer's Post, and BBF, I've come to see her as a highly moral, respectable person. So I laughed hysterically when I visited her site to try to find her email address (which I still don't have, uh hm) and send her a private message. She's one of those people I haven't accepted as a Facebook friend because I've never actually met her, but oh, it gets harder and harder not to.

Anyway, when I didn't see her email, I clicked on her website. Wow, Kathy! I didn't know about your side business. From her porn site, she offers everything from... Oh, gosh, I can't even write the things she offers because it's too dang embarrassing. So, that's what you do when your husband's on his long trucking journeys out of town. See why I don't typically FB friend people I haven't met in person!

In Kathy's defense, she moved her blog and changed her blog's address; however, she failed to remove the domain change from her FB information page. I sure hope her mama, grandma, and dear Aunt Rosemary didn't visit her page! She'd have some explaining to do.

As for my sister, I don't know if you'd find this funny or not since it was one of those goofy kid private jokes that we probably haven't laughed about in over thirty years.

My sister posted that she's getting her first piano lesson tomorrow. Sounds innocent enough, right? I posted, "Next time I'm in Boca, I want a concert! You can play..." 

Now before I tell you what she can play, you need a little background information. In my odd but wonderful family, we had a unique word for a person's bottom. I never realized that the rest of the world did not call a butt a "tootsie." I even went to one of my favorite websites http://thesaurus.com to see if they recognized the word "tootsie" for buttocks. 

Main Entry:	buttocks [buht-uhk] /ˈbʌtək/ Show Spelled
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	rear
Synonyms:	back end, backside, behind, bottom, bum, butt, derriere, fanny, fundament, gluteus maximus, haunches, hindquarters, posterior, rear, rump, seat

Main Entry:	bottom
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	rear end
Synonyms:	backside, behind, breech, bum*, butt*, buttocks , derriere, fanny, fundament, posterior, rear, rump, seat, tail, tush

Next, I looked up "tootsie" in the Urban Dictionary. Nada! It means toes and some gross things, so I won't even supply you with a link.

So where the heck is "tootsie" in the dictionary? Doesn't anyone out their in bloggy world call a "bum" a "tootsie?" More curiously, why in the world did my family use that word for that term?


Anyhow, Barb was a flute player, and we (or I should say SHE) made up words to one of her concert pieces. It went Do do do do do do, my tootsie love you. My tootsie eats meat. And where in the world did we get meat from? I swear, we were totally innocent children singing this song and being silly. I figured you wouldn't find it funny, but thanks for sticking around anyway.

#Writer's Post: The End

Here is my response to Jenn's weekly Writer's Post topic: Endings. It's ironic how things seemed to have happened in sync with her challenge.

I just unfriended someone on Facebook. I'd say I lost a friend, but I never met the lady personally. As a rule, I don't Facebook friend people I've never met in person; however, she had once had a strong connection to an important person in my life, so I made an exception.

She had latched onto me with a tight friendship grip that felt a bit suffocating. Sending me private messages ending in "love ya" and wanting to meet us in Tunica. She even called one night. I didn't particularly want to meet up with her but would go along with it. I could have done it but could tell she isn't the sort of person I want to spend a lot of time with.

She would continually post long rambles about how awful her life is, but she's blessed to have God and who knows what else. It takes up a lot of space on a Facebook wall and is a real downer to read. I want Facebook friends who make me laugh. Sure, I'm there for a long term friend having problems, but this was too deep for someone I barely knew.

I decided I'd loosen the grip by responding to one of her Obama rants. You know what a strong Democrat I am, so I took the challenge as something fun that would maybe make her realize our differences and back off a bit. I was immediately attacked by her and her cronies. One even gave me the easy challenge of posting one link to show how Romney ever abused animals. I posted three!

Apparently I said something that she took personally. I don't get how she took my statements as a personal attack because I swear, it was never intended that way. Then again, I know mentally ill people like this. They take what you say and twist it into their own demented thoughts. Then they play victim with it. These people are caustic and I avoid them like Tea Party conventions! She went on to post messages thanking others for backing her up on how I was an awful person who'd attacked her.

So, I wrote her a private message about how I thought it best we part ways before I really said something that wasn't nice. I hate games, and she wasn't telling me how I'd attacked her personally or answering me directly anyway. She in response published my private message onto her wall, mentioned my name and my husband's name, and went into a rant about how insecure I am. We're all a bit insecure at times, but the bottom line: I just don't like dealing with this type of person.

I'd feel free if I knew I was truly rid of her but also a bit saddened knowing that in her mind I hurt her. I typically don't like to blog about anything personal (and I certainly wouldn't post how awful my life is on Facebook either), but this little emotional release is a nice leap from the usual and a perfect fit for Jenn's topic this week. Forgive the intrusion. I'll go back to being funny tomorrow.

Today, she sent me a copy of a vindictive message that she sent to my sister-in-law that repeated some things I had said and even something awful about my sister-in-law that I certainly did NOT say. She has also been sending e-mails to my husband who doesn't answer. I'm telling you, stay clear of people like this! She is trying to ruin my life, but hopefully everyone she contacts knows how crazy she is. I hate to do it, but with her out there, I am changing my settings to approval mode on comments. Ugh!

As a side note, I could post her name, photo, etc. etc. but I don't work that way. I blocked her from my Facebook account and hope she steers clear from my blog because if she doesn't, she's in for a rude awakening.

Wordless Wednesday: Potato Salad & Men with Plungers

(Wednesday comes earlier and earlier every week. Okay, I'll join your hops!)

I make a mean potato salad. 

After my last post declaring me as a foodie blog, here is a recipe from my cookbook.

I'm not kidding about the man with the plunger. I clog up the sink every darn time I make this dish. ☺

Sorry ladies, this man with a plunger is mine!