Wordless Wednesday: A Frickin' Elephant

As five-year olds were learning to read, one of them pointed at a picture and said,"Look! It's a frickin' elephant!"

And so it was...

African Elephant

 

Being Misdirected

The Girl Scout leaders tried to teach us how to perform the tinikling dance of the Philippines; however, they must have misdirected me because I kept bruising ankles and tripping over poles.

After pointless rehearsals, they slapped a grass skirt on me and the other uncoordinated scout and stuck us at the front of the stage to wave our arms back and forth. See what happens when one is misdirected? However, a lack of rhythm (or direction) never stopped me from dancing with a chair at the Deja Vu.

Now I'm full of rhythm. Just watch me in my movie premiere. I have a fist pumping solo dance and a group scene in which I'm the one in the yellow sunglasses (not Sponge Bob) who's a beat off from everyone else, but it's only because I was misdirected.

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Theme Thursday: Confessions

Mrsupole at Theme Thursday has given us the topic of Confessions. She hints that we could clear our conscience from the immoral acts we've committed. Like that is gonna happen! This is tough because I've never done anything even remotely worth confessing; but I'll spill three secrets.

 

1. I like the smell of skunks and have never understood why everyone yells, "Oooo" when that delicious scent wafts through the air. Come on, admit it. You know you like it too.

2. When I wake up in the morning, and it's a quarter to one; I want to have a little fun; I brush my teeth. Teeth brushing is a treat--just ask my kids. When they were small and misbehaved, I'd threaten to not let them brush their teeth. I know it's cruel and unusual punishment, but I never carried it out. The threat was all I needed to instill perfect behavior.

3. I once danced with a chair at the Deja Vu. The music played, but no one ventured onto the dance floor. After receiving dance refusals from a few men too chicken to be the first on the floor (at least they didn't say, "F%&* you like the creep in middle school), I grabbed a chair and kicked up the party. Actually, that's not the confession. This is: I was sober.