CATCH MY WORDS to find help with teaching strategies, resources, or to enjoy a laugh or music. Blog connected to Catch My Products, the gifted department store with resources for K - 12.
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My humorous thoughts about life.
"My Humorous and Helpful Thoughts About Teaching / Educational Resources for Your
Classroom / Music and Random Fun"
See that clock winding down at the
side of my blog. Summer vacation is approaching quickly, and I can't wait. This
has been quite a year. Not only have I taught, but I've also been up to my neck
referring kids for psychological testing for the gifted program at my school.
In Tennessee, bright kids are sheltered under the special education umbrella
and it's been raining paperwork all year. I have one IEP meeting left and no
one else to be tested at the moment.
Testing has
changed quite a bit over the years. Back in 1925, when
Dogfish
my dad entered
kindergarten, he had to take a test with a psychologist to see what class to
put him in. Some lady held up heads and bodies of various animals and told him
to match them. My dad thought the test was soooo stupid that he decided to have
"fun" with the psychologist. He mixed the animal heads with various non-matching bodies, all the
while chuckling to himself. The joke was on Dear Old Dad when he spent his
first day of school in a class filled with rockers and droolers. The moral of
the story: Don't mess with psychologists.
You can take just about any of your favorite songs and find a parody. For example . . .
Moves Like Jagger becomes Jabba
Take me to Church becomes Don't Take Me to Work
Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.
PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!
The dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide needs to be banned, and here is why: 1. It can be chemically synthesized by burning rocket fuel. 2. Over consumption can cause excessive sweating, urination, and even death.
3. One-hundred percent of all serial killers, rapist, and drug dealers have ingested this chemical. 4. It contains one of the primary ingredients in herbicides and pesticides. 5. It is the leading cause of drowning. 6. One-hundred percent of people exposed to this substance will die. The facts speak for themselves, it's time to ban dihydrogen monoxide!
On a similar note: Two guys walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have H20." The second guy says, "I'll have H20, too." He died.
Guess what? I got the exciting email below to tell me that some stranger is going to split Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars with me! How did I get so lucky?
My intention is to transfer this sum of Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars in the aforementioned account to a safe account overseas. (or to go phishing) I am therefore proposing that you quietly partner with me and provide an account or set up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund. (Quietly partner? Heck no! If I'm going to get all this money, I want to shout it out to the world.) For your assistance in this venture, I am ready to part with a good percentage of the entire funds. We will share the funds in the proportion of 40% for you, 40% for me and 20% donated to Charitable Organizations. (Do I get to choose the charitable organizations? I think I want to give to the Asante Foundation so that poor African girls will not be traded for cows when their families get hungry. Honestly, it's a real concern. These girls are denied the chance to go to school.)After going through the deceased person's records and files, I discovered that:
(1) No one has operated this account since 1999 (or ever)
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating. (Which reminds me of another song.)
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known beneficiary. (Until I post this.)
If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company's funds, which will benefit only the directors of my firm. (The fat guys in the suits get all the cash.)
This money can be approved to you illegally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim, which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications. (Please provide your social security number and all other private information.)
Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. (Here's your reply. &*^% NO! Why must I keep this confidential, King Kong?)
Beth from GBE2 gave us the weekly blog topic of "Happy Endings," so I was thinking about how I could write about a happy end. I've always heard about the happiest of end names around: Gladys, which means "Happy Butt?"
Then my daughter talked about someone having a "bubble butt" that popped. How could a bubble butt pop? Is that one of those silicon butt jobs that leaks with age? I don't know about bubble butts, but I have seen a "booty do." That's when someone's stomach sticks out more than their booty do.
Anyway, my kids said I can't write about "Happy Endings" because it's inappropriate, dirty, and gross.
"What's wrong with the theme Happy Endings?" I asked.
Since I couldn't get an answer, I looked it up in Urban Dictionary. They were right.
