From: Mr Durée kong (I wonder if he's related to King Kong. Must be! Why else would he have all this money to share?)
I am Mr Durée kong, the Auditor General, Santander Bank, UK. In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account, which was opened in 1990 at Abbey National Bank before it was bought over by Santander Group of which I am the auditor, belonging to a dead foreigner who died in 1999. (A dead Foreigner? Is that like in the rock band? I haven't heard any of their songs in a long time.) Every effort made to track any member of his family or next of kin has since failed; hence I got in contact with you to stand as his next of kin since you bear the same last name. He died leaving no heir or a will. (This sounds Urgent. Of course, he never said what that "last name" is. Oh, well.)
Get it? Urgent by Foreigner. I'm so clever.
(1) No one has operated this account since 1999 (or ever)
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating. (Which reminds me of another song.)
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known beneficiary. (Until I post this.)
If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company's funds, which will benefit only the directors of my firm. (The fat guys in the suits get all the cash.)
This money can be approved to you illegally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim, which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications. (Please provide your social security number and all other private information.)
Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. (Here's your reply. &*^% NO! Why must I keep this confidential, King Kong?)
I look forward to your prompt response.
Mr Durée kong