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Showing posts with label gimick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gimick. Show all posts

Thursday, January 2, 2014

I'm Going to be Rich!

Guess what? I got the exciting email below to tell me that some stranger is going to split Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars with me! How did I get so lucky? 





Hello!!!
From: Mr Durée kong (I wonder if he's related to King Kong. Must be! Why else would he have all this money to share?)
Dear: Friend,
I am Mr Durée kong, the Auditor General, Santander Bank, UK. In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account, which was opened in 1990 at Abbey National Bank before it was bought over by Santander Group of which I am the auditor, belonging to a dead foreigner who died in 1999. (A dead Foreigner? Is that like in the rock band? I haven't heard any of their songs in a long time.) Every effort made to track any member of his family or next of kin has since failed; hence I got in contact with you to stand as his next of kin since you bear the same last name. He died leaving no heir or a will. (This sounds Urgent. Of course, he never said what that "last name" is. Oh, well.)




Get it? Urgent by Foreigner. I'm so clever.

My intention is to transfer this sum of Five Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars in the aforementioned account to a safe account overseas. (or to go phishing) I am therefore proposing that you quietly partner with me and provide an account or set up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund. (Quietly partner? Heck no! If I'm going to get all this money, I want to shout it out to the world.) For your assistance in this venture, I am ready to part with a good percentage of the entire funds. We will share the funds in the proportion of 40% for you, 40% for me and 20% donated to Charitable Organizations. (Do I get to choose the charitable organizations? I think I want to give to the Asante Foundation so that poor African girls will not be traded for cows when their families get hungry. Honestly, it's a real concern. These girls are denied the chance to go to school.) After going through the deceased person's records and files, I discovered that:

(1) No one has operated this account since 1999 (or ever)
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating. (Which reminds me of another song.)
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known beneficiary. (Until I post this.)
If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company's funds, which will benefit only the directors of my firm. (The fat guys in the suits get all the cash.)



This money can be approved to you illegally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim, which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications. (Please provide your social security number and all other private information.)

Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. (Here's your reply. &*^% NO! Why must I keep this confidential, King Kong?)

I look forward to your prompt response.

Best Regards,
Mr Durée kong