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Thursday, March 28, 2013

#GBE2: Very, Very Small

               

I want to be very, very small. Not like midget small, kid small, or can't reach the cookie jar small–although that might help me achieve my goal––but size two small; so small I wouldn't weigh enough to donate blood. That way,  I'd have no guilt about not giving as often as I should.

I was once small.
Furthermore, everything looks better on skinny people, except for heavy backpacks that knock feather weights to the ground. At a camp in Colorado, a counselor stuck a backpack on a small girl's back. Without an ounce of emotion, she fell over backwards. That girl was small.

Also, it would take a small girl to attract a Christian Grey. Scratch that. I DON'T want a Christian Grey; however,  mentioning his name on my blog brings lots of visitors, so CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY, CHRISTIAN GREY. Ha! You got here because you were looking for a hot, sexy guy, didn't you? Fine! Don't get ticked, he's down below. 

In answer to the old question, "Would you rather be beautiful or intelligent?" I might go for beauty, as in small and stupid. That way, I'd be too dumb to know what I'm missing. I'd flip my blonde hair into a bun and spend all day at the beach in my very, very small bikini. Which reminds me, Stephen King said, "The road to Hell is paved with adverbs."If that's the case, I'd settle for just being small, like a size six.

Ian Freaking Hot Somerhalder - You happy?


Enjoy this dance from a man who is very, very small.


18 comments:

Binky said...

Maybe one day they'll invent a body shrinking ray so you could be small and smart.

shelly said...

LOL!

Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly

Rhonda said...

I don't know how I missed him. LOL - there is a down side to skinny - wrinkles show more.

Shannon Mashinchi said...

That's awesome!

Talya Tate Boerner said...

hahaha! hilarious. as usual:))

Petro Neagu said...

Ok, so, bottom line, you don't actually want to be small? You're just being the usual hilarious woman. Just checking :)

Martha J. M. Orlando said...

You have such a fantastic sense of humor, Joyce! Thanks for brightening my day.
Blessings!

Maurice Mitchell said...

Whoo hoo Christian Grey! I wish I knew who he was Joyce. You have a good point about being dumb since you wouldn't know better.

stevebethere said...

Beautiful or Intelligent? I hate to admit that I'm both Joyce ...end of.

ps: Christian Grey Christian Grey Christian Grey

That video cracked me up have a Christian Greyish weekend Joyce ;-)

Michelle Liew said...

Funny, Joyce!! being small has its advantages! Rock on!

Leovi said...

Yes, that picture is exquisite. You were very pretty small!

Debbie Doglady said...

Size two, dumb and beautiful? That might get you through for a few years, but, then what? ;-)

Joyce Lansky said...

Sorry, but I'm not into that kinky stuff, but maybe YOU can find someone to give you a nice spanking this weekend!

Joyce Lansky said...

Christian Grey is the fictional man from Fifty Shades of Grey, the porno book that every housewife has read. He is incredibly rich, handsome, and twisted.

Loy Cerf said...

Very funny...I loved the small man dancing! However, on a more serious note, I'd never actually seen a picture of Christian Grey until now. WooHoo! Thanks!

Joyce Lansky said...

He may or may not get the part. Christian Grey is a fictional character. Several Hollywood hotties are competing for the part and Ian is just one of many.

mail4rosey said...

I have never heard of Christian Grey and I don't know that guy, but he's a good looking fella' (in a kid sort of way, says the mom w/a kid who looks the same age) :)

Brains over beauty doesn't have to be a debate, you've got 'em both.

And LOL at the little girl falling over w/the backpack!! Her mother probably worried over her all the time!

Masshole Mommy said...

I'll take a Christian Grey - minus all the mental health issues, though....